parenting 16 year olds

[DawnTwinkle]

how much liberty is correct ? im at the end of my tether

I
have
given
up
completely
with my 16yo.

My ds is 17 and eats with us every night! It just evolved like this it's not a rule he just likes it I suppose. He can say he won,t be home but rarely does. We always eat at the same time if he isn't there I would just leave it for im. If he is staying at a friends I expect a call or text.

I wouldn't be happy with a 16 year old out til 5am! And then you picked them up at that time?!?

DS is 16, works hard and is A*/A student, room always spotless and he generally likes to cook for himself or heats up food from the fridge. We limit his outgoings leading up to exams but tbh he tends to self limit anyway.
He goes out a lot and it's not a problem.

My 16 year old lives on cheese toasties. I have given her a code to live by, in terms of having a plan about what she wants to do next and how she is going to achieve that. She is very independant, but i always know what she is doing and where she is going. I have brought her uptobe strong and independant.

I allow her to go to certain pubs, in a group that i know will look after each other,on school holidays. She regulates herself and is usually in bed by 9.30 most nights, though. She doesn't hang around the streets. My house used to be like a youth hostel.

my boys aged 15 and 16 arnt really allowed out after tea as it dark

They normally both come in from school get changed do homework/chores have dinner then do homework/go on PC

Weekends they get up do chores, do homework then maybe go out with friends but since christmas they have had exams coming up so just doing homework

Hopefully in the summer they will go out

Ds is at peoples houses if out or he has people here. None of his friends hang around the street - they've gone past that stage.

fortyplus sorry but I don't agree it's not what time they come in its what they are doing a 16 boy was stabbed yesterday at 12:30 he was hanging around the streets

If she was at a late showing of a film that finished at 2am its very diffrent from being out at 12 hanging around the streets

Their is no reason why she should be hanging around the streets or in parks she has a home and I am sure her firends have homes

Why not to encourage her to have firends at hers movie nights

Camp fire gatherings in the back yard

Wii just dance nights with snacks

Op is that possible at all

And op the eating thing if she wants to eat out every night fine BUT LET HER PAY FOR IT and I wouldn't be cooking somthing extra later she can warm up the left overs or. Jolly well come home

At 16 I was working partime whilst studying, going out clubbing each weekend and had an 18 year old boyfriend I went out with for 2 years.

me neither gumby
I must have been lucky with mine. If a late night was planned then they would be sleeping over with a friend and it would have to be a weekend. They are 18 and 21 now and I still wouldn't be happy with one of them coming in at 5am!!
I refused to do pick ups after 11pm (unless an emergency). They either had to be home or be sleeping over with a known friend.

DD is allowed out till 10 pm Friday and Saturday and I must always be able to contact her. Weekdays she tends to come after school unless there is an activity that has been arranged with my knowledge. She has a Saturday job and does an hours voluntary work a week at a charity shop. She's quite goal orientated and always has a target in mind whether it's school work or earning money to buy something special. I've never had to lay down the law with her (yet) and I just hope this continues to be the case. I've always been happy for her to bring friends home and I do feed them as her friends' parents do for my DD.

They had to be going somewhere-not just hanging around the streets. I think I was just lucky as they didn't want to hang around in the dark and cold.
Living in a village makes it easier-they needed lifts so 5am wasn't an option.
They had to text in advance if they didn't want a meal.