to ask to be entertained

[Thankgodforcaffeine]

I am a bit bored you see, and I could do with a laugh.

Is anyone out there willing to share funny stories?

Here is one I heard recently: a colleague of mine spent some time at uni in the States. Shortly after she arrived she offered some new acquaintances to go outside with her to smoke a fag. They were shocked and horrified; it soon emerged that they thought she was suggesting to go out and shoot a homosexual.

So come on, your turn: what made you giggle recently?

My 5 year old lost me while walking down the shopping centre... she is easily distracted by shiney things :) she started following 'me' until he turn round and asked if she was ok.

i was only about 6 ft away from her but she shouted at the top of her voice mummy i thought it was you he looks excatley the same!!!

I am a 32 yr old 5ft 6 woman.... she had confused be with my excate double..... a 75 year old 6ft grey haired man..... and kept walking awy in a loud voice saying mummy he does look like you......

Nice!

Good job she didn't ask if she could bum a fag

Worra I never thought of this! Pmsl now

I spent my first day at University (block release from work) in the wrong University (it wasn't even a University it was the techincal college behind the University)

and somehow managed to convince the lecturer in room 605 that it should be day one of the MCIBS in the classroom not whatever he was teaching.

after several confused conversations between the lecturer and various members of admin staff him and his students all left.

After sitting in the empty classroom for around 15 mins , I rechecked my letter and the penny dropped that I was in completely the wrong place

Came downstairs in my new swimming costume to get Dh's opinion. DS2 (9) said 'Is that your Halloween costume'?

Oh god, Creamola, that beats me turning up (late) for what I thought was a first year English lit seminar, only to find out an hour later that it was in fact a third year English Lit seminar... I still have the notes for it, and everything. Much to my course mates' amusement.

I've told this story before about my Sri Lankan next door neighbours but here it is again....

When they first moved in, all the Koi in their fish pond died and the guy was genuinely upset.

A few hours later, him, his wife, their son and an old couple I assume were the PILs...were all stood round the pond with their heads bowed while he read some words out from a book.

As they all trotted indoors, I smiled sympathetically and said "That's nice, were you saying a prayer for the fish?"

He just looked at me blankly and said "No, I was reading the instruction manual for the new pond filter"

Oops

Lol keep them coming please!

Ok I'll see if I can go back and find my other next door neighbour one because I can't be arsed to type it again

Anyway, the couple next door are Sri Lankan and when their back door is open and my side conservatory window is open...the smell of their cooking comes straight in. Mostly, the food smells kind of like Tandoori.

Some of their dinners smell really lovely..but every Tuesday my neighbour cooks something that smells absolutely gorgeous..smells like a spicy onion stew or something.

So I've been saying to my DH for months that the next time I'm in the garden, I'll ask her what it is and if I can have a recipe...ok I might have been hoping for a little sample if she was feeling generous

Anyway, I saw her today and said "Oooh XXX can I ask what you cook on a Tuesday, because it makes my mouth water? I'd love a recipe if you don't mind"

She took one look at me like this -> and then burst out laughing and said "Yes, I boil my Husband's work overalls!!"

Won't be leaving the house for quite some time

wasn't funny at the time, but me and my son had been watching a cake programme and it was one of the owner baby shower and someone bought a nappy cake.

the next morning he put one of dd nappy in the microwave, i asked him why he did it and he said i was making you a nappy cake

Worra do your neighbours still talk to you?

You know where there are funny stories? Chat ->

Caught the new episode of Hustle on BBC iPlayer yesterday.

I had missed the first five minutes, so DP filled me in - there was a stolen Picasso and the group had tried to sell a fake, but they accidentally picked the original owner to sell to. Mickey subsequently ended up in the boot of a car.

I nodded. All was well.

...

Until I turned to DP halfway through and went;

"Why on earth are they talking about a painting?! It's a Picasso they're looking for!"
".......Babe... what do you think a Picasso is?!"
"...a make of car..."

Oddly enough we get along very well, although they do tend to walk backwards with their arms outstretched at either side...maintaining eye contact at all times

penguin you have made my day!