AIBU to think it's bizarre to boast about your daughter's tantrums

[dollywashers]

Just to be clear my children are hardly angels!

But we were at a birthday party today and I was sitting at a table of about 10 Mum's and they were all trying to "outdo" each other with stories of their daughter's brattish behaviour. For example one Mum said " My xxxxx threw a huge tantrum the other day in the disney store because they didn't have the tangled doll and she wanted it. She was screaming the place down. I had to find one on e bay when we got home and order it for her.". The next Mum "My daughter throws tantrums all the time if she can't wear exactly what she wants! She refuses to wear anything but pink so I have to let her". And so it went. However the Mum's were all saying it in such a way as if they were proud to report this, I thought it was really odd. The girls at the party were 6 and 7 so not toddlers.

AIBU or is this odd behaviour?

I think they were trying to judstify their kids bratty behaviour maybe?

*justify even!

Sometimes, parents do this as a way of venting and reaching out. :)

They are not happy about it, just feel a bit overwhelmed I'll bet.

I don't think it's odd, my guess is they were trying to feel better about tantrums. When DS was small, he would throw some absolute stinkers, and I would find myself almost gleefully recounting the tales to fellow parents, in the hope that they would sympathise. It's like having a girls night and bitching about men. It doesn't mean you're proud of twattish behaviour from them, but you want the sympathy from people who understand.

I think it's jusr sharing the 'joy'.

People do this with cats. "Oh yes, Portia won't eat anything except lightly grilled sea bass on a bed fettucine al dente, with a caper and saffron coulis."

I agree. It's preemptive!

Saying that I once bragged about my daughter throwing the worst tantrum every in a posh Parisian department store, right in front of the Chanel mini-store.
The look on the women walking by was priceless. I had to laugh about it afterward- I wasn't at the time though.

I agree Tidy

I like swapping tantrum tales - we've had some whoppers.

Damn I want seabass and capers and fettucine now.... You're so evil.

Instead I'll be having eggs on toast. My life sucks.

At last! some competative mumming I can win!

I don't think they were bragging, just comparing notes.

It's infinately better than the child who is G&T, plays violin, flute and harpsichord to Grade 427; speaks fluent French, Swedish, Old Norse and translates beowulf as a hobby sigh and is sooooo ultra pretty/handsome and is therefore a child model AND is picked for every sports team due to natural talent.

Frankly, it's nice to know there is normal life out there when your child exhibits some brattish behaviour and isn't on the road to Borstal.

I think it's normal to vent about negative stuff. It's also more socially acceptable than saying positive stuff which could be construed as boasting.

Mind you, I would,t be crowing about my inability to not give in to a 6year old's hissy fit

What strikes me as sad about that is not that they were discussing their children having tantrums - hell, we ALL need to vent about that - but the Mums' reaction to them ie. letting them have their way; which it seems is possibly what is annoying you too.

Xpost lottie - yes, I agree

I know someone from Another Forum who filmed her daughter having a tantrum. I know they were bad and went on for ages but I wondered why the fuck she filmed it? I watched 10 seconds of this child on the floor beside herself and pressed stop. Why did she send it to me?

I too, think the women at the party were justifying what they endure.

I think sometimes its good to hear others go through it, it can feel as though your the only one at times. For us anyway.

6 or 7 though I hope my boys dont try that!

I used to dine out on my dd's tantrums because they were for the wildest irrational reasons. my friends used to wait with baited breath for the next installment!

But she was 3, not 6.

Actually I think you might be right londonlottie. I'm afraid I would be walking away from a 7 year old screaming the Disney store down and telling her to come and find me when she had finished. Certainly not rewarding her by buying her one off e bay.

It really wasn't like they were venting (that I could understand).