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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to have no energy left at all?

27 replies

titihood · 20/01/2012 19:32

I just don't know how to keep on doing this without losing my mind. In fact, some days I think I already have. DS is 10 months old and amazing. I love so very much, but this has been the hardest and best 10 months of my life.
We live in Canada, far away from both mine (from UK) and DP's (from USA) families, so don't have their support other than virtually or some visits. DP works his arse off but when he's home doesn't do much. DS sleeps very lightly and we have had a lot of sleep issues over the last 3 months.
Childcare here is cheap if you can get it, but it is basically impossible to find a good and affordable daycare, many only take children from 18 months old. There is even a waiting list for the drop-in daycare.
DS has decided that most days he doesn't want to eat food, whether that be puree or finger food or anything other than crackers, toast, or milk (I am still BFing). He throws food on the floor whenever I offer it to him/put it on the highchair table.
I know this is normal, I know it is normal to be tired and often feel at your wits end, but I am really worried I am starting to lose my mind. I have no patience left anymore and hardly enough energy to bother doing anything. The house is a mess, the pets are driving me up the wall, DS only naps for 20 minutes at a time and I don't know what to do anymore. It is so cold outside (-20 for the 4th day running) and covered in ice so I cannot take him out in the pushchair easily which means trying to get him into the carrier over my winter coat as he bucks around.
I am not sure what I am expecting in posting this, I think I just want someone to tell me that it gets better and that some days you can't be perfect and that I am not the worst person on earth. Right now all I want is an hour to myself or alternatively a fail-safe solution for him to nap. Or something to take to not feel like an ogre. Am really starting to hate myself.

OP posts:
BratinghamPalace · 25/01/2012 04:43

Brutal, I had all three babies on the move, new country every 18mts. Worst thing about it is isolation, the one time you really want to share with your family these lovely little things and all the things you are doing but nobody is around Mums groups can be a double edged sword aswell as you have to deal with cultural differences and that can make you feel even more isolated and alone.
Take the pressure of. Stop reading about feeding and teething and all that bollicks. Pay someone to come in and clean for a few hours -really find the money somewhere. Even three hours can make a huge difference. It gets easier but it takes a little time to find your feet. You are wise to reach out. DP has to take baby out every weekend for at least 4 hours and bring home takeaway!! and you in that time have to have a lovely bath, put on a face mask and fiddle with your feet. It will make a huge difference.
Good luck, it is not you, the situation is hard.

MrsTerryPratchett · 25/01/2012 04:57

I am you. But with a slightly better DH. I'm in the warm bit of Canada with no family. My advice. Schedule DH's time with the baby. My OH takes DD to swimming every Saturday so I am guaranteed an hour off.

Also we share the weekends sleep. We choose who does the overnight and who gets a lie in. DH definitely empathizes after a bad night because she NEVER SLEEPS

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