AIBU to ask for your help, even though I'm not being unreasonable at all?

[StealthPenguin]

The answer is yes, I'm being unreasonable by asking a question in Am I Being Unreasonable and by asking if I'm reasonable when asking an entirely unreasonable question in an entirely unreasonable topic.

Seriously though. For those who've followed my story you'll know I've got body issues, PND and a very supportive DP who is the absolute epitome of a perfect partner. If you haven't been following my story - congratulations! You've been caught up!

It's our two-year anniversary on Feb 8th. I'm really struggling on what to get him or do for him. Idea one is to get him a white-gold male wedding/engagement ring because he's bought me one and I think it would be a lovely gesture. Idea two is to buy myself a nice bra/knicker set and let him have ME as the present.

I like idea one. Idea two is also do-able but not really that "special" IYSWIM because we have an OK sex life and ever since I've started going to the gym he's actually told me to lay off on the touching and the kinkyness because he needs a break from it sometimes too!

But yeah, anyone got any ideas on how I can make this anniversary really special? He's been so supportive and amazing to me and I want to repay him with something really WOW!

Am lolling at the scene!

"Do you want a taste of my juicy scotch eggs?"
"Ooooooh yeah, baby!"
"Ok, well they're ASDA Value so don't expect much, but I actually really like them!!"

BAHAHA

i am thinking maybe i should do the same for DH for putting up with me.

wl have a looksy at travellodges/hilton

i'm snorting like a horse at the scotch egg conversation
dh likes a scotch egg.

personally i like a pickled egg.

and pork scratchings!

If DP wants to snaffle packet after packet of those fucking horrendous pork-imitation pieces of burnt-out shite, then he can piss off out of our hotel room to eat them!!

OOH OOH OOH!

You know if someone wants to prove they are not a troll? Will people say "Blah blah scotch egg" now?!

All of the above plus have a go at stopping your gag reflex ;)

It's my boyfriend's birthday today and I'm gonna whip out the massage bar I got from Lush last year and spend ages on him without touching his bits... til he's so worked up and then I'm gonna present him with my newly honed non-gagging technique.

Is that TMI?

yes

try a nice scotch egg instead

I'm a former bulimic.

What gag reflex?
;)

i also have that skill problem Peng. I just have to be exceptionally pissed to do it.

You have inspired me. I will take DH away for a night or passion, a gourmet picnic, with scotch eggs and pork scratchings, a blow job.

Well, that seemed like the appropriate facial expression I guess......

Ooh have I created the ultimate in unsexy food? Ha. Awesome.

Hah. Have had to tone down the laughter as I'm disturbing the PILs!

Alright, I've got it all planned and sorted!

And are you going to include scotch eggs????

my next weekend off is feb 11th. i'm thinking that is close enough to valentines day for an excuse.

i will surprise him!

and I will include scotch eggs!

Will the scotch eggs play a special role in that surprise, AtYourCervix?

depends how drunk i get

LOL he's telling you to lay off, an your idea is more. Not joining the dots on that one.

How about you cut the scotch egg in half and tongue out the egg suggestively? Or peel the meat off one and roll the whole egg around in your mouth without biting on it and show it to your partner? Then tickle the top of it with your tongue?

mmm can't decide if I'm hungry or horny now

i was thinking more along the lines of firing them, like pingpong balls, from my vagine.

I'm sure if you look hard enough, you can find that's been done!

[willnevereatascotcheggagain emoticon]

This thread is awesome lol

I need help on the no gagging... any tips xD

None I'm afraid. I still gagged. Apparently mastering it with a banana is not the same as knob noshing.

Ooh I do have a tip... if you lie on your back with your head slightly turned down off the end of the bed and get him to stand behind your head and move himself in and out he can get much deeper.

But then you have less control. And I wish there was a [spoiler] tag on this forum so I can blank out the above advice for those who don't want to see it.

Perhaps you could have his ring engraved for him? Initials and date, or something meaningful to you both?

I could do that - will have to check prices etc :) These are all fab ideas

[except for the knob noshing. just no.]