This is a situation concerning me, ex, and our ds (8).
I've posted elsewhere about connected issues but would rather not quote them in this thread, I really want to know if I'm overreacting to this specific issue or not.
Started in the summer. I picked ds up from his regular contact with ex, and he proudly showed me his latest treat from his father: a pellet gun.
It's says 18 yrs-plus on the box, it's an imitation firearm (ie from my layman's POV, looks pretty much like a real gun), fires those small ball-bearing size plastic pellets.
I took it off him straight away. Texted ex to say, what on earth were you thinking. He got angry and defensive.
I left it there, but ds was upset and won't let it go. I have explained they are dangerous, and illegal (? not sure, but a cursory google leads me to believe it is illegal for adults to supply such items to underage kids?). In the short time ds had it he had already shot himself in the face (he asked me if he had a mark on his forehead, I said no, when I asked why, he said because he had fired it into a bin when his dad was out of the room, and the pellet had bounced back and hit him on the forehead).
DS keeps bringing it up. Then I find ds upset one evening, ask him why. He says it is because of the pellet gun. He wants another one. Then he says that his dad has offered to buy him another one, and just 'don't tell your mum.'
I challenge ex, who says "If I want to get him a pellet gun, I'll get him a pellet gun." He says I'm overreacting, says (and has clearly told ds, since ds keeps saying it to me), that "they are not dangerous when used correctly."
I'm kind of used to my parental authority being undermined, tbh. But I'm actually anxious to the point my heart is racing and I can't sleep. Because I hand ds over to this man twice a week and it seems he does not even register things that could cause harm.
I am curious what other people's opinions are. Do you think I feel too strongly about this? Or is it common for 8yr olds to have such things as 'toys'? DS knows 2 other kids that have them.
On the first occasion I was tempted to go to the police but didn't in the end, 1) because even if illegal it didn't seem like they would consider it a serious issue, more like a domestic spat that 2 adults couldn't sort out themselves and that it would be an overreaction on my part, 2) because I was worried the police would go round to see ex and he would react vindictively against me (without wanting to go too far into details, he is emotionally/verbally abusive, very paranoid/defensive).