to bit a little shocked

[maypole1]

to day i was shocked

me and my mate were dropping her daughter off to nursery at lunch time
and on the way walking back their is a row of shops which include a betting shop

we saw a boy in his school uniform with no coat on shivering, we all know how cold it is today standing out side he must of been 6 or 7

i remarked to my mate that he looks really cold she joked his dad is probably having a bet so i asked the boy were his parent was he pointed to the betting shop and said i am cold.

now i wanted to go in and call the parent out
1- it was freezing and the boy had no coat or even jumper
2-leaving a child out side while you place bets is a bit hmmm
3- why was he not at school for pittys sake

i don't care if people want to bet or what ever but i do think people who leave their kids outside pubs to drink or betting shops to gamble are highly questionable

my mate told me i shouldnt go in so i didnt but i wanted to who was right

I don't see how that is depressing. I'm not condoning child abuse!

But an isolated incident as minor as having no coat on, you've got no idea at all what the situation is! Now if I saw the same child standing outside the shop a few times a week, not dressed for the weather and waiting a long time on his own - then I might say something...

I just have an issue with his age and him being left unattended, no matter how long it is! I wouldn't dream of leaving my child outside on her own at that age!

If everybody thought like you Cupofbrown then God help the neglected and abused kids out there.

don't be silly, zookeeper.

I think you did the right thing to ask if the child was ok. I would probably have stayed local for 5 mins and seen if the Dad had come out by then to look after the little boy as he could have literally been just popping in and out. If he was still there and shivering I think it would have been appropriate to pop in and try to tactfully see what the situation was. Unlikely the Dad was a monster, may just have lost track of time/been trying to leave a converstaion. Having a sense of community is a good thing. There is nothing wrong with making sure children are ok and not on their own.

My DH was often left standing outside the bookies whilst taking care of his brother (5 years younger) from being about 7 years of age.

He was responsible for picking him up from school and making his dinner and mending the holes in the knees of his school trousers from being around 9.

He had to get up before his mum every morning before school and boil kettles of water to run his mum a bath before getting his brother and himself ready for school. (No central heating).

He and his brother were regularly left on their own from young ages whilst his parents went to the pub and got pissed. And then he had to get up and 'parent' his younger brother whilst they slept off their hangovers.

Their holidays were spent with their parents getting drunk in the pub whilst DH and his brother were left in the car with the occasional glass of lemonade or packet of crisps brought out to them.

His paper round/Saturday job money was spent on milk and bread. His dad's wages went on beer and at the bookies, his mum's went on fags and Bacardi. My mum used to think it was really funny when we were at school and whenever he came round he'd bring a bottle of milk and a box of tea bags!

He spent so much time looking after his little brother that he did badly in his GCSEs, had no hobbies or extra curricular activities. And yes, whilst he's overcome most of it, he won't get his childhood back.

He often says he wishes someone had stuck their beak in.

I feel very angry about some of the things my ILs have done to both DH and my BIL. They are immature and selfish.

I was walking past a slot machine place in the city centre here and someone had left a baby outside in a pram. I've no idea how long the poor mite had been there. I pointed it out to a walking policeman though.

A child as young as that I would stop to ask if they were alright. And why they weren't in school.

I've seen the same 12/13 year old in the city centre twice over the past 2 days. He was with his mother (??) yesterday and she was handing him a lighter for his cigarette . He had no uniform on. I was tempted to ask why he wasn't at school.

but realistically, what does getting involved achieve other than to make the person getting involved feel they did something?

You challenge someone shouting at their child/leaving him unattended outside a betting shop with no coat and then what? The parent isn't suddenly going to stop and think "oh wait, that woman has a point, my behavior has been way out of line here and I really shouldn't shout so much/should have put little johny in a coat/shouldn't really be leaving him unattended." they just aren't.

I understand the thinking behind the need to say something but in truth it achieves nothing other than to soothe the onlooker's conscience.

My dad sometimes used to nip into the betting shop and I can remember being left outside with the tied up dogs. And a particularly memorable day when it started to snow and the dogs were allowed in the shop but I had to stay outside! One day a friend of my mothers spotted me and must have told her, as it never happened again after that!

Maybe things were different in the eighties though, as I definitely wouldn't leave my children on the street like that (irrespective of the shop).

I'm not claiming to make a point of principle here, but I wish other adults had told me my parents were wrong to put me down, scream at and thump me. My Gran did - I reckon she saved a shred of my sanity - but everyone else looked t'other way or murmured things bout them meaning well. Children don't know any worlds other than the one they live in.

That's a very good point, garlic. The one time I ever spoke up to a man who was screaming abuse at his daughter, I got a load of abuse shouted after me down the street, which I'm ashamed to say has probably stopped me from speaking up again - but I did feel glad that at least that girl knew what her dad was doing wasn't okay.
And I had Not Nice things in my young life which extended family and family friends witnessed but did nothing about.

Dd2 would quite happily go somewhere in short sleeves in approaching freezing temperatures. I got to the point where I would say to her that it was her call. Sometimes she'd admit to being cold, but sometimes she will try and brazen it out through the blue lips and chattering teeth.

Nowadays she will usually choose to take her coat if I say it's cold. She won't always choose to wear it though.

FolkGirl that's awful x I really feel for him
I do think it was done in years gone by, but there are so many more dangers out there for children these days....or should I say the chances of something happening to them have gone up massively, mainly because no one questions other people even when they see something a bit strange or not right

The thing about FolkGirl's story is it shows how capable most of our child are, given half a chance, they don't have to be mollycoddled the way most MNers insist on doing.

I keep thinking that child in OP's story was probably on exclusion, that would explain why not in school. :(. I agree something not good about the picture, but you can't know what.

maybe the child was making a fuss about not wearing a coat and the parent gave up and decided that if the child got cold he/she would learn their lesson and not do it again.

maybe the child was ill and parent had to pull them out of school

maybe it is none of your business

maybe he's being abused and/or neglected. Maybe he's the most pampered child on earth and standing there because he wants to.

Maybe we should try our best to find out which it is.

FFS

ragged it does show that, doesn't it! Although it wasn't ideal, has had a long lasting impact on him and does also mean that they are now PILs and grandparents and have the capacity to screw up all over again.

Timothy Winters is alive and, well....

It is shocking, the lad should have been inside the nice warm bookies playing the frutties and sticking small sums on the nags.

I spent most of my Saturdays in the bookies with my Granddad as a kid, despite it being against the law. It stood me in good stead, I could fill in a bookies slip (and deduct the tax) before I started junior school.