AIBU to apply for a new job when also trying to conceive?

[Rachtoteach]

I have two children from a previous marriage, aged 7 and 5. My now husband, who is wonderful, has no children and would love one of his own (I have limited him to one though). Last year I had 2 m/c and found it quite hard to deal with, but managed to pick myself up. We have been trying for a few months now and nothing happening yet. It's been making me feel a bit down and so as the work I am doing (I work from home - and miss company - doing admin/legal type things). Anyway, I have now seen my dream job advertised as it's local! So I have updated my CV and sent it over.

BUT AIBU? DH and I had a brief chat about it and said that IF I got the job we would put our baby plans on hold for a year. What worries me is AIBU to DH? To the children (leaving my current role where I am able to take them to school and pick them up, be here for them if they are sick etc) for one that would potentially mean that they would have to go to after school club every day and maybe even breakfast club too (though I would try to negotiate a 9.30 start).

My current position is dull and does not fill me with any enthusiasm but should I just stick with it because of the practical perks?

Help!!!

First of all, so sorry to hear about your miscarriages. You are a lovely sounding person who is trying to consider everyone's feelings before taking any action. However, I think you are perhaps overthinking this job/pregnancy issue. You are already worrying about childcare hassles with a job you haven't got yet! I think you should apply for the job, and IF you get the job, then you can figure out the rest. Also, if you start this job, you might not get pregnant immediately - it might take several months. And you can still work through pregnancy. So you could work for a year at a job you really like and still have another child. I really feel that if you are tempted to apply for something - you MUST apply. Then if you get the job - if it's real then you deal with the implications, even if you have to turn it down. If you don't apply you will regret it. Good luck.

I don't see why it would put things on hold for a year tbh? And it could take that long to get pg anyway. You are overthinking things - just apply and see what happens :)

Just go for it - and put childcare, and conception issues into a large box labelled "cross this bridge when you come to it" - you can't put your life on hold indefinitely. I applied for (and got) a new job when I was pg (and hadn't realised it yet) - doesn't mean that my new employer didn't get good value out of the 7 months before I went on ML.

Good Luck!

I was in a similar position to you, TTC and then I saw my dream job being advertised. Applied for the job and got it and a few months later I got pregnant. I am now 3 weeks away from going on maternity leave and I have been at my new job for 11 months! My employer has been very understanding and I do not regret one moment my decision to go for both. This way my baby will be here soon and after maternity leave I can return to a job I love!

Good luck with the job and TTC!!

You're overthinking. I have a tendency to do the same.

Go for the job. Only put ttc on hold if that's what you want to do.

Oh my goodness, how can you ladies provide such clarity when all I could see was a big fog of confusion?! Thank you so much. You are all right, I am borrowing worry when it is not even here yet! Well I will see if I hear back from the firm (fingers crossed) and go from there. I'm so glad I sent my CV off. Putting my life on hold is exactly what i feel like I have been doing. Thanks ladies xx

Definitely apply. Good luck.

Sorry to hear of your losses.
Definately apply. We were TTC for 5 years (finally had success via IVF), we kind of put our lives on hold for that time, and I regret the number of things I didn't do 'in case I got pregnant'. Go for it and good luck on both counts.

So sorry about the miscarriages. I was is a similar boat with applying for work and ttc at the same time. We ttc for 9 months and i temped. Then i applied for a perm role and 2 days before my start date i had a bfp.

I was so worried, but the company has been wonderful.

My advice is to continue applying and continue ttc. Why put anything on hold? let the chips fall where they may i say!

Good luck.

Totally agree that you are overthinking/getting ahead of yourself/catastrophising comments.

We all do it though!

You have to take these things one step at a time. First step - apply for job. You might not get it - if you don't the process will still have been valuable. If you do get it, great - start negotiating on what terms would work for you and be prepared to compromise.

Don't be rushed into a decision or agreeing to terms that feel wrong for you.

Remember if you get right to the end of the line but decide to turn the job down that's fine too.

And some things you are, sadly, simply not in control of like miscarriages and when you might or might not conceive.

Good luck with it all, me love.