to bring this up with the school?

[CoralRose]

DS is 5yo, and came home from school with his thick winter coat ripped. He said another child had pull this hood. It's a good quality coat and must have been pulled with a fair amount of force. Worth a mention, or just one of those things?

Honestly? If your ds was upset and felt like he was being 'hurt' then yes I would bring it up.

If it happened during normal play that your ds was involved in then I would (and have) just chalk it off as another wrecked item of clothing.

He wasn't upset.

He didn't shell out £55 for it though

My DS came home with a cut across his nose where he was hit in the face with a stick, Didn't think twice about it, 9 times out of 10 accidents happen and clothes get ripped children get cuts and bruises.

I'd rather they were messing about than being told they can't play certain games etc.

A bit of me agrees with feedthegoat but then another part of me thinks that perhaps the Head should say something in assembly as I'd be furious about having to buy a new winter coat if it was good quality. More about respecting other's property during play and not getting carried away... I think you'd be justified in mentioning it in a friendly manner.

£55 on a COAT, WOAH.

The problem is, they are 5, they're not always going to remember to play carefully and mind expensive coats- and it wouldn't be very good for their development if they did. Unless there are signs that your ds is intimidated, I think the moral is to send him in in cloathes that will either withstand a bit of rough play or won't cost you a bomb if it doesn't. Dcs went to infants in charity shop clothes for this very reason; now they are at secondary they have graduated to Primark.

I always used to feel so sad for the friends of dd who weren't encouraged to play in the park because it made their pretty clothes dirty.

This is why my kids only ever had cheap school coats at primary school.

Asda or Tesco or similar then you just write it off to experience (unless it's bullying in which case you should go and talk to the school)

I'm not well off and ds does have a lovely boden coat for school but I always take the approach that it is my decision to spend that much and kids that age wreck stuff so hey ho (or maybe it is just my ds with the power to destroy clothes with a look!). I'd only complain if I thought it was vindictive.

£55 on a 5yr old's school coat - double WOAH

I wouldnt spend £55 on a school coat for a 5yo child, it is unneccesary and is bound to get damaged one way or another as that is what happens to kids clothes.

I have to admit that I was pretty upset that DS came home from school a month after we bought his coat and it was ripped all along the hood. Seemed like shoddy worksmanship that a coat could be damaged so badly so easily and since it was from John Lewis and I'd shelled out more than I usually would, I was upset because I couldn't afford another one.

Then I thought, he's a boy and it's probably bound to happen and sewed it up.

I do think it's a badly made jacket because it's damaged in loads of places now, whereas his sister, who is every bit as rough wearing on her clothes, has a similar jacket and it's fine. Hopefully it'll last the season and I can get him into his spring jacket soon.

Oh god you're giving me flashbacks OP. When I was a teacher, children pulling hoods in the playground was the biggest pain-in-the-arse problem ever. It's actually quite dangerous as the child gets yanked back and often falls over. Of course coats were getting ripped too. We went on and on about it in assembly - no pulling clothing, especially hoods - but it did no good really, they do it without thinking when they're playing football or chasing. I think really it's just one of those things. It might be worth mentioning it in passing to the teacher, but really there's very little the school can do about it.

Oh and buy cheaper coats in future!

Well I spent more in the hope that it would withstand a bit of rough and rumble. I guess I will sew it up and send him without the hood in future!

CailinDana - yes they went through a phase of playing this game at DS1's school too.

He used to come home complaining about it (he's not a very boisterous boy and gets picked on a bit for it). One day he came home all pleased with himself and told me the tale of his detachable hood having come off in the assailants hand and sent him tumbling to the floor instead.

Wait till you have 6 pairs of school trousers all with no knees as he has been playing 'skideroos'! I gave up last year and just sent him with mending tape everywhere by July!

Not sure what this has to do with the school?

Oh... trousers I know about. I think in the space of a fortnight he went through all 5 pairs of school trousers and all but two pairs of 'normal' trousers. Infuriating!

Mojito- It happened at school. I dunno - if it were happening in my back garden I'd put a stop to it. I would say - your coat will get ripped don't play that game. Whilst I encourage messy/boisterous play I draw the line when people or property will get damaged, I think it's an important message. I wasn't sure if the school's responsibilities extend to something like this.

Since september we are onto 2nd round of trousers through growth spurt and 3rd pair of shoes! 1st pair didn't fit and 2nd pair of clarks had a hole in the sole after 8 weeks. I can see why lots of folk drive on the school run now!

Can you detach the hood and send him with a hat instead?

Mine's had her hood ripped a couple of times. I just think it's what youngsters do - if playing chase, they grab the hood to stop someone. Although obviously I do tell my child not to do this in case it strangles someone, i see it as just one of things that happens really. I've instructed mine to stand still and undo her coat if it happens again.

Detachable hoods are the way forward, I hate to see kids being pulled by their hoods (and I don't mind rough and tumble, I just have a 'no necks' thing!) so that way I don't have to worry about his neck and the coat lasts a lot longer too.

Coral - so would I. If it were my back garden and I only had 2 kids to watch. But with so many children running around at school it's not possible to see the pulling on the hood incident before it happens. You can see the kid climbing on the wall and get him off before he falls (trying to say that some accidents-about-to-happen are easy to identify and prevent), but children in a playground are mostly running - how do you pick out the one whose hood is about to be grabbed?

This was a constant with DS - I actually sewed a couple of detachable hoods on because I was fed up with them coming home separately / not at all. It seems to happen less with DD - whether because she plays "gentler" games or because she is more forceful in telling people not to do it I am not sure but I suspect the latter. When it got out of hand the head did tend to remind the whole school about the rules on rough play, but it never stopped for long.

FWIW I have never spent more than £20 on a school coat, and all DS's have survived intact and DD sometimes wears them even though she has one of her own.

I would bring it up at school, but I would never send them in expensive coats. It is normal to run around and play catch etc and the obvious place for a child to catch is to grab a hood.
Keep good coats for home and send them in cheap, serviceable, washable ones-or second hand.