Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be considering a chat with the teacher about classmate

8 replies

TwoIfBySea · 19/01/2012 22:24

The reason I have not so far is that I'm torn between not being a sticky-beak and not wanting dts1 hearing this kind of language.

So, during the holidays dts1 told me of an incident at school with a classmate. This other boy has behavioural issues but I've always been of the "be tolerant" method of dealing with any issues that have happened. Mostly because they haven't involved my dts (dts2 is in the other, less "alpha" P6 class.)

Anyway, this boy gets upset and violent very easily. Dts1 is a soft touch, he lacks confidence after some bullying last year which their current teacher has snuffed out completely. Poor woman has a lot of challenging children in that class.

This incident was that dts1 and his friends were playing a game. The boy began one of his moods so the others started walking away. He then went up to dts1 and said "you hump your mum."

Now both dts know swear words, I've told them why people use them and why they should not. But I was shocked at what he said, it was just beyond what I've dealt with before. Most of them didn't know what it meant which is why dts1 asked me.

Last year, in P5, the boy had made a graphically sexual comment to the only muslim teacher in the school (much worse than what he said to dts1). That teacher is no longer there. He said it in front of the class which, I would have thought, would be humiliating enough for the teacher.

Today dts1 and 2 were talking about the latest game they are all playing at school. I had told both of them that, after the humping comment, I didn't want them playing with this boy but he will then punch whoever doesn't let him play and complain to the playground supervisor/teacher that he is being bullied by them. I did say to dts1 if anything was said he was to get the teacher or head to call me to explain why he wasn't allowed to play with the boy although I wasn't relishing the idea of repeating what was said.

Apparently another boy, D, told this one he couldn't play because he'd punched dts1 in the back. The boy then made comments about D's mum finishing it by saying "my mum's a lesbian and she shags her sister."

Maybe I'm being puritanical all of a sudden but that is coming from a 10 year old whose mum was so upset last year after the teacher comment thing. She isn't lesbian, or at least I don't think so - she is still married.

I had thought of speaking to the teacher after the first comment. I've been a parent helper at the school for several years and know this teacher quite well, she has a brilliant handle on the children and deals immediately with any and all problems. To be honest I felt maybe just banning dts from playing with him would be enough but these comments he is making...am I over-reacting? Should I bring it to her attention - what he is saying to his classmates - before the other parents hear of it?

OP posts:
BoysAreLikeDogs · 19/01/2012 22:29

yes, talk to teacher

school may be wanting evidence of outbursts or inappropriate behaviour in order to secure more support for the child

obv not nice for schoolmates or yours, either

troisgarcons · 19/01/2012 22:31

I would always have a quiet word about highly sexualised language. It always triggers the proverbial red flags in my head - especially if they are used for attention seeking purposes.

You are in a better position - coz I've never known a school that didnt thrive on gossip information sharing - you won't be in the full picture, but the class teacher will be. That may be a the final piece of a jigsaw needed for some more serious intervention measures.

LindyHemming · 19/01/2012 22:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TwoIfBySea · 19/01/2012 22:34

Thanks, I wasn't sure if I was interfering. I just don't like my dts hearing that kind of language at the moment. Have no problems explaining it but it isn't nice.

The boy tells them of all the horror films he watches but I've told dts he would be exaggerating that. I cannot imagine either of his parents allowing him to do that. I feel sorry for his mum, she was beside herself during last year.

OP posts:
SquirtedPerfumeUpNoseInBoots · 19/01/2012 22:41

Yes I would have a word, if only to pass on what you've heard without trying to infer that you know this as facts. After all p6 boys all exaggerate. But the language used would be enough IMO.

Hth.

squeakytoy · 19/01/2012 22:43

Have these children got older siblings that they are picking up the language off?

troisgarcons · 19/01/2012 23:01

Horror films? quite possibly - if he does have older siblings and he door hangs late at night. Remember an 18 film is normal viewing for a13yo.

I do (sadly) know parents who buy Call of Duty/Black Ops etc for 6yos - and I cant stand the graphics on it.

TwoIfBySea · 19/01/2012 23:02

The boy has a younger brother with learning difficulties so I don't know where he would hear it from.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page