to think carers do a hard enough job as it is without being involved in benefit scrounger threads?

[Agincourt]

because to be honest i have so much on my plate I hadn't actually noticed this was the general perception before reading mumsnet (and contributing)

and it seems it is resented I can earn up to £100 on top of my allowance whilst claiming carers allowance.

Why is it so awful? I have a degree, did have a life of my own, but actually NOW I spend 24 hrs a day looking after my dependent and looking forwards for them and making sure they have the most 'normal' life possible. Really is it that awful? Is my life to be resentful of really, THAT much?

I feel a life swap program coming on...

I agree. What such people seem to forget is that people don't HAVE to be carers, certainly when the person they care for passes 18 (and if it became impossible before that). But we do. Because we love them.

These people who begrude the pittance that is allocated to carers simply don't get it. If it comes to it and we have to say "here. this person is 18 now. as they are now a vulnerable adult, it is the duty of social services to care for them" or "here, I can no longer care for my child as they require 24/7 care but if I do that, I cannot earn a wage and my whole family will become homeless" and hand over care of them to social services - it will cost this country millions. Millions and millions.

these people that are so worried about the state of the economy should get down on their knees before the army of carers and thank them for saving the country so much money.

Don't ressent you a penny. In fact think you should get a lot more

amen

resent even

People begrudge carers? Really?

I have a lot of respect for carers who put their lives and careers on hold to look after and tend to the need of their loved ones. I have that respect because my DH is a carer for his mum and although he does his 35hrs a wekk, he's also on call overnight in case MIL takes bad.

You lot are the best value workers in this country. My hat off to each and every one of you.

I don't think that its true that in general carers are resented. I think that at times, on here it can seem that way, but Mumsnet is not representitive of real life, nor does it reflect general views.

Much as I love the place.

In my real time experience I have been met with nothing but respect from others for my caring role, respect I don't feel I deserve as I am only part time, don't live with my caree and it doesn't affect my life all that much. My respect is reserved for those who are carers 24/7.

I think sometimes we need to remember that MN and what happens on here, is not even a wide cross section of views, its a small slice and often regurgitated ad nauseum.

I DO like it here, but forums always tend to be a little more dramatic than real life.

its wrong theres a limit on what Carers can earn. CA is roughly £55 a week. If you give up work to care then its taken from your income support. Or if you work your 40 hours a week and care fo the other 100, you lose Carers cos you earn too much.
And CA of £55 does not cover loss of earnings for the many carers who go part time or give up work to care.
And many Carers are saving the taxpayer £3000 per WEEK by caring.

A friend of mine was still caring for her adult son when she was 85 and in failing health herself. When she got her pension they stopped her carers allowance. How mean is that? Surely someone who is still caring at pensionable age needs more help, not less?

YANBU

Why do carers get involved in benefit scounger threads? Or start ones like this? Really, OP, why, when there are 'proper' areas of the board that don't get such a bandwidth of opinions? Of course you can post whatever you want but if there wasn't the rapt audience on this type of thread, nobody have to read anything about it, would they?

I think people just LOVE to chew it all over, as much as they say they don't...

dont think mners think ur scroungers,not what ive read on here,seem pretty supportive to me

think goverments give you all a very hard time though

I don't resent you either.

Not a jot.

Well, YANBU, but actually I don't think it's just carers, there are a lot of people on here who think that a woman who's been dumped with a 5-month-old while her husband runs off with another woman should just go out the very next day and find a job when they'd agreed for her to be an SAHM. Or that people with severe depression should just be kicked in the face until they actually kill themselves to save 'the taxpayer' money.

So really, what we need is an overall ban on benefit bashing posts, just as much as there is on e.g. racism or hate speech towards the disabled, because it's basically just hate-speech towards poor people. MNHQ disagree with me on this apparently though as it's fine to call poor people scum or something, and that's 'healthy debate'.

but were talking carers not other benefit claimants,once we start going into other groups it decends into a bash i agree

I think benefit fraud needs to be looked at, not to reduce the amount paid out but to ensure it is redirected to those who really need it - and I would put carers at the top of that list.

Those who are claiming fraudulently know who they are and probably don't care what people think of them.

The problem with benefit bashing threads is that they just become too general. All circumstances are different and to take one example and apply it to every benefit claimant is ludicrous.

Wibbly disablist comments do not get deleted on MN.

OP YANBU, but it will never change sadly.

I've seen comments against Carers, and awful comments about parents caring for children with disabilities (basically stating that the children shouldn't have been born).

Some people hold hideous views, the sensible people recognise the good Carers do and the vast amounts we save the NHS/social services. I have in the last few years avoided DS staying overnight in hospital - saving the NHS the cost of about £15000 a year on the bed costs alone, never mind the meals/nursing staff etc.

All for the amazing sum of £53 a week! I don't avoid the benefits threads now, I use my calculations against them

I didn't actually know I was meant to be getting anything when caring for my mum, at the moment I'm having a battle over getting her in to a care home after a long stay in hospital as with dts and work and being ill myself I cannot do it any more. And I thought the social worker was making me feel guilty enough!

Ha.

In my mind, and I would hope everyone had a similar opinion, a benefit scrounger is someone who hasn't worked since leaving school, has no intention of working, doesn't have childcare or similar issues preventing them from getting a job (shift work, anything) and who claims everything and anything they can get. I lived in a town where this was the main occupation for a lot of them. It was soul destroying to see the lack of ambition parents had for their children and I was openly mocked when I became a single mother and actually began actively looking for work. Apparently that made me a snob thinking I was above them rather than me wanting to show dts a way of life I wanted them to follow.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe, I started it here because I want to know WHY.

I don't understand why anyone would be jealous of the life I am living, it certainly isn't anything I would have chosen for myself, but like alot of other carers it is a position i have found myself in and I do it because I love my dependent and I am sick of being treated like crap. MY OWN social worker treats me like crap because 'other families cope' err yes, of course they do but they compare me to a Mother of three 'normal' children and this has only started since the government got into power and all the welfare reforms took place and the local authority started slashing care packages for those vulnerable in our district. So maybe it's a sore point with me because I turn on the computer and have to read abhorrent views about how awful we all are too, when actually I live my life to example and treat others in it accordingly, to the best of my ability.

Some people hold hideous views

yes they do, on all sides. Its called differing opinions i guess.

Your hideous view might be my voice of reason and visa versa

shrugs, thats the way it goes

A differing opinion is fine buen however telling people that their children should be dead as so not to drain public resource is worse than just differing opinions is it not?

Agincourt I told ds2's social worker that we didn't want her "help" anymore because her comments were leaving me in tears after every visit and the 2 hours a fortnight respite we were getting (this was in 2009 beforew they started dramatically cutting services so I expect we'd be entitled to less or nothing now) just wasn't worth the hassle. It's not an option for everyone but I am much happier with her out of our lives and I find I can cope with being a carer so much better now that I'm not being told that I'm doing everything wrong and that other families cope.

I think that when the people who are paid to help are judging us then it's not surprising that others are as well.

tbh I haven't seen any negative comments about carers. What I have seen is comments along the line of - x is pretending to be caring for his elderly gran, but does absolutely nothing. Comments are about people committing fraud or taking advantage of vulnerable people, not about having a go at carers.