To struggle to keep on top of house...

[zozzle]

I work 16 hrs (Mon school hrs, Tues school hrs, Weds am - back home at 1pm), have 2 children at school in Reception and yr 3. Extra curricular activities twice after school during week plus Sunday mornings.

I just never seem to get on top of house work and most of time I would be embarrassed if anyone dropped by unannounced. On Thur and Fri, my full days off just seem to get swallowed up with cooking tea in day for slow cooker, admin (for work sometimes or for house), the weekly shop, washing, the odd phone call to family, seeing a friend (usually onece a week for 2 hrs or so), running (once a week) and tidying!

But never get enough washing done and house doesn't look much better by the end of the day - v. disheartening! I admit to not being greatly routiney as I find housework so boring (although not as bad if radio is on!)

AIBU to feel I'm failing (as I only work 16 hrs) - is never being on top of the house just part and parcel of busy family life or am I doing something wrong? DH thinks state of house could be better and I should be more efficient (no, he is not a monster, just more organised than me!). Any tips ladies??

And agree it is much easier to clean and tidy if the place ix kept up together throughout the week than spend soul destroying hours battling through mess. How old are thd Dcs - if over 2 they can help in fond capacity.

do the jobs when you have most energy as you will do them more quickly

Yes - online shop at night when kids are in bed, with a cup of tea.
Wash load on very first thing every day. Then it can go in dryer/hang up overnight (cheaper I think) and is ready by morning.

look at Flylady for basic tips. I use her 5 min room rescues and 15 mins to 'company ready' as she calls it, all the time. Also, I have a routine so it isn't all one one day. Ironing and bedding Monday, Mop floors Tuesday, admin Wednesday etc.

I don't cook in bulk much but never cook anything that takes more than 1/2 hour to prepare. on your work days you can use the slow cooker or rely on fish finger type meals.

Don;t forget that looking after kids is a job, as is the school run, so expect DH to do his share. Make games with kids to tidy rooms, toys, put sorted laundry away etc. Do nothing for more than 15 mins and always with good music playing. End a session with a coffee and something that makes the house smell good - polish or a candle, or is a finishing touch - flowers, plumped up cushions. It gets more enjoyable if it's not a whole day's slog.

I work approximately 45 hours pw. 9-6 ish and a few hours at home. I have two dc, three cats, a dh who is very busy, and a huge house, oh and the dc go to different schools in opposite directions.

Daily routine: up at 6.15 shower, dress, hair and make-up. Put on a load of washing, empty dishwasher, wash all the cat bowls and feed cats. At 7pm I wake up the dc - then hang up yesterday's washing to dry and put away the dried stuff that doesn't need ironing. DD has breakfast at 7.30 and I make ds a bacon and egg sarnie and cup of tea and take it upstairs. At 7.40 I drop dd about a mile away to catch the school bus. Come home put any dirties in the dishwasher and wipe down kitchen worktops. At about 8.10 I drive ds up to school and then drive to work to start at 9am.

I work jolly hard in a professonal job. Leave at 6ish, nip into supermarket on way home (am very lucky to have a parking space), get home at about 6.30 -6.45 as a rule. Cook supper straight away and eat with dc. Clear away supper things. Have a sit down with a glass of wine and watch a bit of telly/mnet, catch up with the dc. DH gets home around 8.45 and I get his supper and have a chat. At about 10ish I usually do any essential ironing and I get my clothes ready for the next day. Sometimes, if I have to I catch up with work after that.

Weekends involve food shopping, big laundry jobs like the beds, making sure school uniform is washed and ready and we have nice meals at the weekends. Usually also involve drop offs for things like rugby, etc. Add in the odd dinner with friends or dinner here, the odd girl's night out and pta meetings and church on Sundays.

Admittedly I do have six hours of paid cleaning help a week but form what you have said about your routine I think you need to start writing lists and get a bit more organised.

On the other hand, when I worked part-time and the dc were the same age as yours I would say they were the hardest two years of my life. Work had to be perfect and home had to be perfect because I was only working part-time. However, it was easier to keep on top of things and the flexibility of part-time work was wonderful. I think the difference was, if I was using my day off for "me" then I made sure all the jobs were up to date in advance.

married I want 6 hours paid cleaning per week :(

That should be

I do think its a mind set as well.I enjoy housework.I love the satisfaction of getting something clean.I revel in knowing how to do it.I enjoy creating a relaxing environment.
There must be something in housework you can find to enjoy.If there isn't,tell yourself there is.Its exercise.Its soothing if you're upset.It relieves anxieties at feeling out of control.....

I work similar number of hours and have one at school and a toddler at home. Dh is at home full time but I do all housework/cooking/cleaning/household admin.

Daily (including work days)
I get up and put washing on/make beds/empty dishwasher and start reloading with breakfast things first thing. I'll give the kids bedrooms a quick tidy.

If I am at home I usually do some food shopping (I do it locally on foot) and will clean (i.e. bathroom, sweep/mop/hoover floors) plus household admin. I plan meals for the week. I'll make something like soup for my lunches and portion out in the fridge ready to grab for work in the morning, and sort out something for dh lunches.

I tidy every evening (I like to sit down in a tidy front room) - ds helps put toys away. Kitchen is cleaned as soon as we are finished eating, dishwasher put on and sides wiped. Ds cleans the table and sweeps the floor in the dining room. I put clothes from the morning in the dryer so they are finished before I go to bed (so I can sort out/iron if necessary/put away).
I preprepare a meal for the next day to go straight in slow cooker in morning. Put a loaf on in the breadmaker.
I clean the toilet (quickly) and empty all the bins.

Also we put stuff away as we do it - coats/shoes/bags put straight away, everyone puts their own washing in the baskets so it is all ready for me. I empty my handbag every evening and go through ds school bag for letters etc. It actually saves a lot of time to do things as they come up rather than piling them up for later. I have spent most my adult life living in chaos and I much prefer it organised. But you do have to do things now not put them off for later. I also hate housework but doing a few bits every evening is easier than spending all my time off trying to cram it all in.

I don't work, but there's 4 of us, including 2 boys who mucky everything they wear and a sweaty husband who could fill the washer in a day all by himself. I do 12 loads on a bad week (done 3 today because we got soaked to the skin) and definitely couldn't cope if I decided that 3 days a week weren't laundry days.

Thanks ladies! Wow you are all into your routines! I guess that's my issue - not enough routines! Well, I guess I have to be so routiney on my work days I like to do things in the order I fancy on Thurs and Fri - but that's obviously where I'm going wrong!

I think it depends on your personality type too. Me - creative-ish, unroutiney night owl. I get up at 7.20am in the week! Do think morning people get more done though! Wow marriedinwhite - you've done half a days work by the time you get to work.

I get up at six.

BTW - I do housework on my work days too (tidying, clean kitchen, dishwasher etc) - just not enough other stuff! Will work at getting up slightly earlier each day.

I think the difference is that I think of it as routine stuff that needs to be done as quickly as possible to get on with the rest of the day, not as work, and I couldn't leave the house unless it was done and unless it was relatively tidy.

We dont have the tidiest home, but there are a few little things I have got into the habit of doing, that help:

*While me or DH cooks tea, the other one tidies the lounge, so when we sit down to eat, its relaxing
*While the baby bottles are sterilising, I do all dishes / wipe down counters / put a load of laundry in for overnight
*About 9pm I make the bed (naughty naughty not making it when I wake, but usually busy feeding the baby), put away any clothes, clear away any dirty ones etc, so the bedroom is relaxing and tidy for whenever I come to bed
*In the morning, laundry out and onto line/radiators

DH vacs up whenever he can be bothered, and we dont iron (only on an as desperatily needed basis)

Have a look in the Good Housekeeping threads, there are some threads on "Flying" which is a method of keeping on top of your home.

It comes from the American "Fly Lady" site.

You'll find others in the same boat. I used to spend ages on it writing about what I needed to do and if i had managed the "baby steps" for that day, but then I figured I'd get more done if I spent less time on MN and more time witha damp cloth and the hoover...

i work 20 hours and usually i get more done. i have looked around the house and feel resentful that tomorrow I will spend most of the day clearing up. Alot of it is my teenagers being messy.

sometimes it is all tidy but at the moment it isn't great. Will have a try tomorrow.

don't worry too much.

Ok, there was a recent post in AIBU about organising a house etc which was great, and there is the flying thread in good housekeeping.

Befire Christmas the state of the house was frankly just awful, I used to spend weekends frantically cleaning and writing lists and menus and food shopping naps well as trying to work one day at a weekend, have some family time and do three full days during the week as well as meet my mums group for cake and play and cook for the week.

Now we have lists. I took a day off work (toddler in nursery), got down on my hands and knees and cleaned the entire house. I do a minimum of thirty min a day of housework, I put things away when we have finished with them and DH is doing the same. We quickly wipe over the en suite each day and Hoover every two days, laundry is done every other day if needed. I do a big shop once a fortnight and cook up three or four casseroles and then freeze them. I then just buy veg and fruit as we need it or if I see it on offer.

It's gradual, we moved house in eh summer and we have a lot of junk ti sort out but we are getting there, now I am not manically cleaning inefficiently all the time when I do clean it stays clean. Can honestly say that taking control has changed our lives!

I absolutely hate the shackles of domesticity, but with 4 children and a husband who works away have little choice. I work irregular hours - always a little, but occasionally full time plus a few evening hours. It's usually short notice.

I get up at 5.50 regardless of whether I'm working or not, stick laundry on and empty dishwasher while my coffee brews. Animals are fed and lunches made. Any dried washing is folded ready for dcs to put away before school. My main morning gripe is getting 3 teenagers out of bed!

If everything is done by 8.30 I have no guilt pangs about going out for the day - shopping, coffee with friends or swimming for eg. If I stay in I do bog all.

The longer you have, the longer it takes. It took me years to work this out.

I'm a SAHM with two children at school and I struggle to keep on top of it sometimes, so don't beat yourself up. I find routine and lists are essential.

Of course you can't catch up with your laundry if you are only doing it two days a week.

Try to get into the habit of doing a little and often, always have loads in the washing machine and dryer before going to bed, fold dried load away and put washing machine and dryer on again first thing in the morning, repeat in evening and again before bed every day. It only takes a few minutes and you will never build a mountain.

Tidy up every day as you go, always wipe your counters immediately and wash up/load dishwasher as soon as an item is used.

While your on the phone you can wipe your skirting boards and all dusty surfaces like the dvd player, tv, bookshelves etc...

When your passing the bathroom, have a quick once over with antibacterial wipes, straighten/replace towels, pour bleach down the toilet.

Have a place for everything and everything should be in it's place when its not in use.

Make your kids clean up after themselves, perhaps make pocket money dependent on them keeping their rooms spotless, putting things away after themselves and doing small chores around the house.

Never keep rubbish in the house, that's what outside bins are for.

Throw out everything you don't need as an uncluttered home is much easier to keep clean and tidy.

Always have your clothes out the night before (along with any jewellery and makeup you'll be wearing) and get up earlier than everybody else so you can shower and fix your hair/makeup in peace. Wear a nice perfume. I think if you dress well for the day, you'll feel ready for anything.

going mad I think you may be right. I am thoroughly fed up with my lazy kids, granted they are doing A levels etc but every day I am picking up after them. My YD had the cheek to say that she didn't have an ironed shirt because I hadn't done it.

I do some of it but she is meant to do her own ironing. She is 16.

I go in their shower room and there is toothpaste smeared all over the sink. I just get very angry and resentful and at times I cannot bear it.

I try really hard to keep on top of things but it seems like I am the only one bothering.

My DH does chip in but the teenagers are lazy and I now think enough is enough.

YD's bedroom is disgusting. clothes all over the floor and she has the biggest room.

Her saving grace is that she is very bright and doing well at AS level. Maybe that is why I tolerate it.

ED in Y13 and she has a part time job and is a bit more responsible. She has exams in next 2 weeks' but she never did anything when she didn't. what to do

My DS is slightly better at 14. A bit tidier.