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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to get rid of the cat?

79 replies

ihatemycat · 19/01/2012 17:28

I never thought I would be the sort of person who wanted to get rid of a pet but she is really pissing me off.

She is fed the best tins I can buy but insists on going out and eating grass. She has just been sick all over our (top loading) washing machine despite having access to go outside.

She's also started shitting next to the (large and regularly cleaned) litter tray or sometimes in the most awkward places I can hardly reach into, this is also despite having the opportunity to go outside.

She also like to wake DS1 (age 5) up in teh night by walking on his head and also wakes us up several times a night for no reason other than she sleeps all day so wants to arse around all night.

I'm pregnant and frankly the smell and aggro of cleaning it up after her is just making me utterly fed up. I am just so fed up and feel she probably deserves better than a family who are all pissed off with her...

OP posts:
Original poster
ihatemycat · 19/01/2012 19:38

Thanks all, going to google heat pads and eat banana and custard to soothe my troubled mind!!!

OP posts:
paisleyII · 19/01/2012 19:44

ah, poor OP, there are alot of cat police on MN, one hint that your darling cat might be getting you down and BAM, you are a terrible person. not everyone that owns a cat sees them 100% all of the time through rose tinted glasses. we took in a cat a few months ago, never had a cat before and yes, she can really get me down sometimes BUT i wouldn't be without her, she is part of our family, warts n' all but she can be really annoying, and cute.... she has got into the habit lately of jumping onto my office desk and sitting right infront of the laptop whilst i type, normal for a cat, but the hard part isn't so much in the typing whilst looking over her back, it is her biting my hands and drawing blood for no reason, this i do not like, nor the going outside then coming infor a shit. my point is that when i am being bitten and bleeding for no reason or clearing up wee from the floor where she missed her tray i too don't like having a cat BUT i would never get rid of her, we love her more than i have moments of not liking her, you are not a bad person! contrary to what some posters have said, you are human!!

catgirl1976 · 19/01/2012 20:04

Erm....why did you get a cat when you clearly dont like cats?

Maybe just your hormones making everything seem worse and you are just having a vent? I hope so.

Get the cat checked out but its not doing anything abnormal for a cat.

Animation · 19/01/2012 21:25

OP - don't worry yourself with guilt. If the cat's unmangeable find it another home. It would be no sweat to me. My priority is my 3 kids and a hygenic home, and pets are way down the line.

OriginalJamie · 19/01/2012 21:26

catgirl - she has said that she has only recently felt like this.....

paisleyII · 19/01/2012 21:34

catgirl is part of the MN cat police, very quick to tell you that you are a bad person and mistreat your cat if you are spouting anything other than cooey cooey cat posts, oh yes, and constant 'take it to the vet' comments even if your cat so much as coughs

OriginalJamie · 19/01/2012 21:35

OOOH MN cat police. Never knew about that one. There's law enforcement for everything on here Grin

paisleyII · 19/01/2012 21:37

you'd better believe it. just vent off a little about anything other than how wonderful dear tiddles is and BAM you've been got

PinotVaggio · 19/01/2012 21:39

I don't think catgirl said anything on this thread that warrants a bashing, so I assume you're dragging past grievances across the boards. Not cool.

paisleyII · 19/01/2012 21:44

actually, i thought catgirls comment was typical of the irritating comments that fall on anyone having a bad time with a cat, cats can be annoying sometimes. i love having a cat but she can still be a pain sometimes as indeed so can i. i can see through op's comments as someone who is just having a hormonal bad time at the moment, i don't think she deserves some of the comments she is getting. like a women who has just had a baby and is going through a phase of regretting ever having a child/pnd, i think op is going through a hormonal bad time that clashes with the cat being a pain. i think she could do without being had a go at by some of the posters.

marshmallowpies · 19/01/2012 21:45

I have a friend with a cat that seemed to un-learn how to poo in its litter tray - it still wees in there but poos straight on the floor. It used to go outside, but as above, another cat scared it out of the garden. My friend moved, but the pooing on the floor has not stopped.

I love cats as much as the next person but I do find the no-poo-in-tray situation pretty revolting. This cat's litter tray is one of the kind without a lid/cover - would it be more likely to one with a lid, based on other people's experience?

PinotVaggio · 19/01/2012 21:47

I agree with your post of 21.44 paisley, but you singled out catgirl and that's not warranted.

hiddenhome · 19/01/2012 21:49

Get a Feliway Diffuser. They help with the problems that you're describing.

paisleyII · 19/01/2012 21:50

you're right pinot, i should not have aimed my comment specifically at her, sorry catgirl but i still stand by my comment in general, one should be able to let off steam about your cat without being told you should never have taken on a cat, you can still love your cat but it be annoying you. as i type this my cat sits at me with that 'i am about to jump up at you at take your fingers off', actually, sometimes she really scares me....still love her, still my little baby :D

OriginalJamie · 19/01/2012 21:54

A very strange thing happened to my DH after we had children. He completely went off the cat... cat was annoying, but DH couldn't tolerate her at all. It was very sad. And DH is a very loving person, tolerant of any of our family's foibles. He loves the cat again now, as do we all....

suzi2 · 19/01/2012 21:56

Eating grass is to help her be sick - probably furballs. Could be something like kidneys being dodgy though too so if it happens a lot get a blood test.

As for the pooing and stuff, it might be that she's a bit unsettled so something like feliway will help. Try confining her to just a room or two until she's using her tray again properly. If she likes the conservatory, lock her in there with her tray at night time. Perhaps with a heatpad if it's really chilly.

paisleyII · 19/01/2012 22:01

original - i know of a similar thing. friend of mine, her dh has a cat that is their cat now, they have been married for years. she told me recently that her dh doesn't pay any attention to his/their cat at all. it gets looked after well (fed etc) but i get the general impression that it is pretty much ignored. even now, if it comes into my head i get quite upset, it is really sad. she said he completely ignores the cat and i know my friend isn't crazy about it as in her mind it will always be 'his' cat. pleased your dh loves your cat again. i get a bit soppy about cats. dh let ours out (via the back door) about 1/2 hour ago, didn't tell me and subsequently he forgot to let her back in (i thought she was upstairs asleep). she was only out there for half an hour but i was really upset, as if she was a child or something. how ridiculous. she was probably having a great time out there. she is back in now but i keep thinking she might be cross with us for keeping her outside for half an hour, soppy old sod (me, not the cat)........

Jux · 19/01/2012 22:08

Feliway. I know you said it didn't do much when you had it before, but it's worth trying again. We have 3 diffusers - one for each floor of the house - so that the pheromones disperse everywhere and simply can't get away Grin. It did help with calming all the cats when they were upset about the arrival of the 3rd, and one of the residents started pooing all over the place in protest. You can google it and get it a lot more cheaply than the scary prices the vets charge.

Have you got a cat flap? Then she could go in and out as she pleases, and will probably bother you less at night as she'll have other things to do too. Also you won't have to worry about letting her put and then trying to get her in again. She'd come in by herself if it was too cold or wet.

Pregnancy does often turn you against a cat; I've known a few women who suddenly hate the cat that they adored before. Once the baby was born they stopped. You might regret rehoming her.

mayagoldmamma · 19/01/2012 22:13

i had 2 rescue cats, sisters... one puked up daily on my bed linen/carpet/sofa etc for years...the other one woke us up every fricking morning at 5 am. after years of this (and yes of course i took them to the vet, tried everything blah blah blah) they went back to the rescue home and were rehomed in a few weeks.
they were making all our lives miserable, ds2 was 6 months when i gave up, it just got too much, but maybe you're made of tougher stuff than me
ps we always had cats growing up, strays, old toms etc and none of them behaved like these two.
i love not having to step in cat puke every day/clear up poo around the litter tray Grin
good luck with yours

hiddenhome · 19/01/2012 22:21

Get someone to put the poo into the litter tray and don't keep cleaning it out. I know it sounds gross, but don't let it be too clean. Never use chemicals, just water when you wash it. Put the Feliway near the litter tray.

Get some hairball treatment. My cat was vomiting everywhere and all unsettled then one day she had a huge vomiting session and up came this large furball. It must have been really bothering her for ages Sad

You need to stop seeing your cat as the problem and perhaps start considering that she's unhappy and probably quite physically uncomfortable.

Also, cats do sleep during the day then do stuff at night, which is normal for them. They're not like dogs.

Glittertwins · 19/01/2012 22:45

Pooing out of the litter tray is also a sign of stress. Have you tried Feliway, a cat hormone scent which supposedly calms them down. One of our mogs is a barf machine. Even DCs go down stairs first thing checking for cat sick these days and we've been woken up quite a bit by them them yelling up to tell us. 3 lots of puke so far to clean up today alone including fur balls. I agree it's not pleasant at all but it's being a cat.

paisleyII · 20/01/2012 08:06

hi glitter, blimey, that sounds pretty harsh. my cat so far is sick roughly once a mnth although we have only had her for about 4 and i thought that was bad. just out of interest, have you been to the vets? is this just 'normal' for your cats? i get the impression that some cats are just sick for no obvious reason, just their personal charm.......i bought a carpet cleaner because of it, one of those stick/can jobs, quite good and cheaper than an electric jobby

Glittertwins · 20/01/2012 08:47

She's had several expensive trips to the vets (2 different ones) and nobody can find out why she does it. It started about 1 year after we got her and we've now had her 11 years. We've tried different foods, natch. She is a heck of a pig though and some of it does seem to be undigested ie she's bolted the food. No need to there, she's the one that bullies the other cat away from the food. Hey ho, she's a nice tempered little thing and loves the DCs too.

DoesNotGiveAFig · 20/01/2012 08:52

Feliway and a cat flap so she can come and go at night.

Nanc123 · 20/01/2012 09:07

I think that its totally normal to feel that when you are having babies and have small people in the house that to clean up after the cat is more difficult than before and stressful - I have been there too ! I think the mad cat ladies are giving you a hard time we are not all stepford wives that clean up poo and mess with big smiles on our faces! try and think of it as another baby that you have taken on (unless someone really nice wants to look after her for a while - which is totally fine as you are pregnant and its difficult). When you are super protective over your crawling kids and they stumble across cat sick before you its a difficult call to make!!