to want to buy DS a new mattress?

[PavlovtheCat]

DS is 2, about to go into his own bed due to starting to climb chuck himself out of his cot.

He is going to have DDs bed, a junior bed in plain white and she is going to get a new full size bed (she is 5.5 now).

DD has had this bed, and the mattress with it since she was about 2.5. The mattress is a good, expensive comfortable one, with mattress protector plastic thing over the top. DD has gone from nappies to dry while having this bed, so inevitably there have been accidents in it, but, not that many.

She will get a new mattress to fit her new bed.

DH wants to give this mattress to DS. His opinion is, DS is not potty trained yet, so will go through this process in the new bed, and does not see the point in buying a new mattress. It has a plastic cover so has minimised accident leakage, and we won't be able to get one of this quality again due to our finances being in a different place to when we had DD. He said it is not the same as buying a second hand mattress as DD is our own child.

I really want him to have his own, new mattress. When we got his cot mattress it was a simple one due to lack of finances and I am due a pay rise backdated to April this year, not a huge amount but it will cover the cost of a new good quality mattress and am happy to use it to buy one. I keep thinking about important it is for children not to have second-hand mattresses and I know he is old enough that SIDS is less of a risk, but he does have sensitive skin and I worry that DDs dust mites might irritate him.

Rationally, DH does make sense I think, I don't really seem to have an argument that sounds as rational, other than 'i want him to have his own!)

AIBU?

yes you are! I agree with your DH

YABU. Wait until he's toilet trained and then get him a new one.

I think you are mad. I had a bed wetter and we went through mattresses like no tomorrow. That was also leaving the plastic sheet it came with, a protector, and several towels as well. I was slinging one out every 6 months.

If you are worried about SIDS exactly what do you do when you go on holiday? Take your own mattress to hotels?

Dust mites? try steam cleaning the mattress.

Personally I think you are just a little bit paranoid about what-ifs.

If finances are that stretched do you by think your backdated pay could be put to better uses?

I'm afraid I also agree with your husband. It's not like it's a 2nd hand mattress from someone you don't know. It's his own sister!!

Yep. Wait.

My DD is 8 and has been through 3 mattresses in the last year. Due to rubbish waterproof sheets and ruining the mattress wetting the bed. I've always bought a cheap 2nd hand one and will until she is completely dry.

trois i am not worried particularly, more that little red flag that comes up whenever 'used mattress' is thought of.

I suspected I was being U.

I think I am being a little bit PFB but with my boy instead. He always get DDs cast offs and DH said that is just how it is with second children .

I might grudgingly accept that on this occasion, he might be right...but i might not tell him he is right just that he can have it his way

stuckuopthefarawaytree i love your name btw

If the mattress was good enough for dd then its surely good enough for ds?

needanewname don't worry, I would not buy a new mattress with this backdated pay if it was urgently needed on other things! It would be me forfeiting this as it was going to be spent on me. And I don't really need anything.

If you are absolutely desperate for DS to have new mattress then John Lewis do a 'Value' single mattress on their website only for £60 which I bought for DS and am very pleased with.

The guy in the shop advised that a cheap one is fine until they are through the potty / toddler stage. I'll be saving my pennies to buy a really decent mattress for later on when he is a lot heavier - looks like he is going to be v tall and so I am keen to try and minimise the likelihood of him inheriting my back problems!

I slept on a very ancient second-hand mattress until I left home which was not very good for my back but since you are talking about one that has only had a couple of years use by a small, light child I really can't see the harm in passing it on.

He won't notice the mattress not being new and I'm willing to bet that a couple of sets of brand new bed linen would be way more exciting for him at this stage!

grumpla DH said that about bed linen

YABU - far more important expenses to be planned for are coming up over the horizon, and who knows which of us will still have a job in six months?

And Grumpla's right, they don't notice mattresses unless there's a spring sticking into their backs, but they do notice when they've got lovely new linen with dinosaurs/fairies/ whatever the current obsession is.

well, that is certainly true re jobs.