to expect some sort of thanks?

[LilBlondePessimist]

I was recently asked, via text, by a fairly new friend if they could borrow or buy a piece of baby equipment for their newborn, which I was not finding particularly suitable for my own newborn... I replied that they could, and that I would not be needing it back, as I was planning to replace it with something else. I didn't receive a reply to this text, but assumed that my friend was probably a bit busy, therefore my husband took it later that day and gave it to her husband as they spend quite a bit of time together.

I didn't hear anything further until a week or so later a photograph appeared on FB of my friend's newborn on a similar item. My husband asked her husband about it and was told that this was borrowed from another friend as ours hadn't been suitable. There has been no offer to return our item (albeit I did say I had no use for it, although had only just bought the thing), or to buy it, and no thanks from my friend. My question is, AIBU to expect a thank you (or acknowledgement of some description) from my friend (in fairness, we don't keep in touch regularly, it is mainly our husbands who have contact), as I haven't heard from her since the original text asking for the item, or even to return the 'unsuitable' item or offer to buy it?

p.s. This is my first post, so leaway would be much appreciated. Thanks

could be a miscommunication between the other couple, why don't you just ask for the item back as they're not using it?

Very rude. I'd text her and say 'dh told me that x wasn't suitable for you after all, please could you pass it back via dh as I've got another friend who will be able to make use of it. Thsnks'

(in fairness, we don't keep in touch regularly, it is mainly our husbands who have contact)

Don't you think this is the key fact here? Plus you did say you wouldn't be needing it back. However, you could text her and ask if she has still got it as it may suit another friend, or you were thinking you might ebay it. Or ask your husband to ask hers.

But if you told her you wouldn't be needing it back, you can't complain if she has passed it on to someone else. She might even have swapped it with another friend for the item you saw on Facebook, or something like that.

I think she probably assumes your DH was thanked for it as it was handed over by him.

Or, as you are both up to your eyes in it with newborn babies, you could just let it go and move on!

YANBU, she is bloody rude. Definitely ask for it back "for another friend" and then don't give/lend/sell her anything else. The whole "I have a newborn so am suspending normal manners for as long as I like" nonsense is very tiresome as well.

MmeLindor: I can see why they would prefer the other item - it looks more expensive and tbh just better than ours. I was intentionally vague at the beginning because I was concerned that there was the possibility that she could be a member here and I didn't want to offend her, but it was a baby chair.

I don't have any other friends that I could say needed it, as I have just moved to the other side of the world (as has she), which is why we are in this rather odd set up, although I could say that I had decided to ebay it.

I don't buy the excuse of thinking her DH had thanked my DH, as SHE asked ME for it, therefore I believe it is her responsibility to also thank me for receiving it, but as I said, I'm starting to think I should just not bother with any more favours and forget about it.

I would say that I was sorting out a few bits to eBay and if she wasn't using it then could I have it back to sell please. I wouldn't worry too much about her thanking you, life is too short and this time spent with your baby is too precious to spoil it by worrying.