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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

In thinking a 5 yo is not "a toddler"

65 replies

Greythorne · 18/01/2012 22:55

i have a friend who describes her DD - aged 5 and in equivalent of YR - as "a toddler".

AIBU in thinking toddlers are tiny people who are toddling about, learning how to walk and run and scoot, not 5 year olds who can read and write their own names, get themselves dressed, ice skate and ski?

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 18/01/2012 23:28

X-posted with TigerLily. You are my favourite now.

IneedAbetterNicknameIn2012 · 18/01/2012 23:28

I think a toddler is a child who is toddling, as in walking unsteadily. So DS2 was a toddler at 10 months. I'm not sure when it 'ends' though, maybe 2-3 years?

squeakytoy · 18/01/2012 23:34

I would certainly expect a five year old to be capable of sitting up at the table and eating with a knife and fork.

IveGotTightsOlderThanYouLove · 18/01/2012 23:34

I agree with others - a toddler 'toddles'. So, as soon as they're walking until they're 'properly' walking. 12 - 18 months-ish?

madammoose · 18/01/2012 23:36

My baby wasn't a toddler until a couple of days shy of 17 months. To have called him a toddler before then would have been ridiculous...he wasn't toddling.
Wonderful word toddling.

birdynumnums · 18/01/2012 23:36

Where I work, a toddler is classed aged 12 months to 5 years - because the health risks are very similar I think.

I still class my 17 month old as a baby though and will till he turns 2.

madammoose · 18/01/2012 23:39

The upper end of toddlerdom I am less sure of. Sometime around 3 years? I am making a wild guess based on no personal knowledge here, other than children old enough to go to school do not toddle.

BoysAreLikeDogs · 18/01/2012 23:40

in our house it goes:

babies
tinies
toddlers
preschoolers
schoolies
teens

madammoose · 18/01/2012 23:42

birdy - I am trying to train myself out of the "my baby" thing now my son is 2. He was a toddler but still my baby before, but it seems to be stretching a point now.
Had he started walking at 13 months or whatever, I would have had no hesitation about saying baby, not toddler. There is overlap.

pigletmania · 18/01/2012 23:50

At 5 a child is not a toddler, but a school age child.

YankNCock · 18/01/2012 23:54

DS is 2.5 and I have trouble sometimes thinking of him as a 'toddler' because he doesn't 'toddle' at all. He runs full speed and climbs on everything. In my head 'little boy' seems right. But then when he sleeps and looks like a cherub, he becomes 'big baby' again.

hermionestranger · 18/01/2012 23:54

We have boddlers in our house. That's a baby who's cruising and constantly pulling up on me/furniture/the dogs. Grin DS2 is a toddler now though. He's not my teeny baby any more. Sad.

tigerlillyd02 · 19/01/2012 00:09

Yes, thinking about it, I think I class a toddler as before pre-school. Once they're 3 ish and attend pre-school then in my eyes they're then pre-schoolers. Up until then, toddlers. A child of 5 is exactly that. A 5 year old child.

NoOnesGoingToEatYourEyes · 19/01/2012 00:37

I think I'm just about getting away with calling my son a toddler. He will be three at the end of March and I think that will be my cut off point.

If I were still calling him a toddler at five I think I could rightly expect some Hmm faces, including from him. He already tells everyone that he not a baby, he is a big boy and he's been quite firm on that for months.

At Halloween he was in and out of hospital and running about in the car park, flustered, trying to find a working machine to pay and the man supervising asked me how long I was visiting for. I said "I don't know, I'm taking my baby to paediatrics" and he let me park for free and promised not to clamp the car. Afterwards I felt a bit silly for calling him a baby (he was 2 years 7 months old at the time) and I know I only said it because he was ill.

I think I might still be embarrassing him in his teenage years (and beyond) by calling him "my baby" but only in that embarrassing mum way, not in a serious way. But I can't see me pushing the "he's still a toddler" line past his birthday in March.

crapistan · 19/01/2012 03:48

No way is a 5 year old a toddler. Sounds like the parents have odd expectations. I don't know that, I'm just speculating. It really annoys me when some parents prevent their child growing up - don't know if that's happening here of course, just saying because that's what the post made me think if.

In the US a 5 year might be a pre-schooler still, but they are a school-age child in the UK. We used to live in Holland and there a toddler is very much a 2 or 3 year old. The nursery my dd attended (she was 3) was called "toddler playgroup" and was only for 2 and 3 year olds. They were surprised that she was already toilet trained at 3 - they seemed to aim for toilet training before age 4 as that's when dcs start school there. In the UK most dcs go to nursery from age 3 so don't seem like toddlers anymore.

Waffling now, but was just thinking it's interesting how where we are influences how we think of dcs at different ages.

carabos · 19/01/2012 06:02

Friend of mine, when asked if she has children, says she has a "little girl and a little boy." They are 16 and 12... So by her reckoning, the 5 yr old is not a toddler, it's a baby.

Changemorethanachameleon · 19/01/2012 06:11

I had the other end of the spectrum yesterday when a mum said to me (about her 6 year old) "when she was a child..."

I'd still class the 6 year old as a child!!!

nooka · 19/01/2012 06:11

My ds has his own set of rules about age names. He told me he was a 'very very young man' and not a boy anymore :) dd is a tween. (they are 12 and 11 respectively).

I think of a toddler as a child that is just about walking and probably still in nappies, both of which give that distinctive walk. Before that is baby and after is little boy/girl. A five year old is not a toddler, that seems very odd and quite unhelpful - my experience is that most children that age are very much on their dignity about how old they are.

scummymummy · 19/01/2012 06:13

Are you sure she didn't say tiddler?

TheHumancatapult · 19/01/2012 06:21

ah under teh first decription ds3 still be a toddler at almost 7 .Grin but i do not refer to him as one though now and then I refer not in his hearing but to others as baby of the family more often the pickle

mummytime · 19/01/2012 06:27

I don't think a child has to "toddle" to be a toddler, but maybe that is because I have one late and one very late walker. Actually when they were toddling I called them "toddley people". From about 3 they become a pre-schooler or "little child". They can still be called a little child in reception, so that is okay.

However back to the OP, your friend is just never going to get her son to do anything if she doesn't at least ask him to o it now. The younger you ask kids to sit up and still at table the more chance you have of them doing it. The longer you wait the less chance you have of them doing anything you ask.

OddBoots · 19/01/2012 06:33

Weren't The Tweenies named in an attempt to classify those who are between being toddlers and being a child?

TroublesomeEx · 19/01/2012 06:49

My DD is 5. She is my baby. She will be my baby when she's 37!

'Toddler' is a very specific stage. When they are learning to walk whilst wearing a nappy and toddling around. After that, they are children.

DD's a bit Hmm when I call her my baby. I'd get pretty short shrift if I tried describing her as a toddler!!!

CheerfulYank · 19/01/2012 06:54

Yuck, I know what you mean. I had that from parents when I taught preschool. "Don't you think that asking my TODDLER to understand that he can't bite is a bit much" while the kid's four and a half and smirking at you. Hmm

YANBU.

WaitingForMe · 19/01/2012 10:00

It's linked to potty training for me. I associate the funny movements with their bum sticking out due to their nappy as being toddlerish. Once they're out of nappies and walking upright they're a small child.

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