To think that no one on here has a baby who sleeps less than mine does?

[32notout]

My daughter is 23 weeks old. She has always been a terrible sleeper but I am starting to think that there is something seriously unusual about her sleeping habits.

She usually sleeps from 8pm - 11pm (although this is a fairly welcome recent development), 12am - 3am, and 5am - 7am, so basically 8 hours at night. She will also, under protest, have one 20 - 30 minute nap in the middle of the day.

I seriously DEFY anyone to have a baby that sleeps less than this. Or, maybe give me some hope, I am on my knees after 5 months of this...

Weeeeeeeeelllllllllllllllllllllllll ds who slept through aged 6 weeks ( 7 till 8 ) is now making up for it aged 10 by starting his day at 3 am at the very latest

He got up at 1.30 the other morning, AND he can't be left unsupervised.

I win !

my 4 yr old has similar sleeping habits, STILL but all of mine have been terrible sleepers bar one, who woke every 2 hrs in the night as a baby but went straight back off when fed

Poor you. Sleep deprivation is a killer.

Sadly this is really normal. I was still feeding twins every 2.5 hours at 9 months and never had more than 45 mins of sleep in one go during that time. Nearly killed me.

What you need is help. If you don't have friends or family nearby who can help, try a CM, a nanny, or even have a private arrangement with a local person you feel you can trust.

This is a modern problem. Years ago there tended to be much more of an extended family on hand to help and support a mother, whereas now many people find themselves far away from the communities in which they themselves were raised.

It's not you or your baby that needs to change ,it's the amount of support you're getting. Your DH may be wonderful but he can't help you if he's not there very much. I'm sure he hates seeing you go through this too, so get some help in.

Hope things improve.

I got myself obsessed around this age with my DD that she wasn't sleeping enough and I was going insane.. would walk her for ages, controlled crying, darkened room.. everything - she was fine though and I think I wound myself up more stressing and worrying then it did her - yes it was knackering but guess it's just par for course as many say.. Soon as I stopped worrying/fretting and trying to get her to sleep she seemed to sleep much better.

I'll introduce you to dd sometime.

The times you've put in your OP would have been bliss for me! Actual 3 hour stints of sleep! Amazing! Dd was very adept at making sure I never got a complete hour of sleep. I stopped bf at 21/22 months because I couldn't handle it any more. She carried on waking but settled for a cuddle or a back stroke so at least I could share it with dh.

Yes, sleep deprivation is a killer. It really, really is.

Dd turned 3 at Christmas. Sometimes she sleeps. Last night she slept all night, it was bloody wonderful. Sometimes she still gets us up 10 times a night. I have a 5 year old too so generally when dd sleeps he decides to have nightmares or growing pains. fun fun. Oh and I'm 35 weeks pg. Happy days . The baby has been specifically selected to be a sleeper. If he isn't I'm sending him back.

Are you joking? I would live to swap.

DS didn't sleep for longer than 2 hours at a time on a good night. Occasionally he would have a nap or two during the day but they would always be less than an hour. It got better around 13 months and at 2.5 years he sleeps well 90% of the time.

It blighted his sister's first year at school and I was so short tempered and irritable for all that time. I was also constantly ill, it was the worst period of my life.

But it gets better, it does. I always thought to myself 'well he probably won't still be doing this at 15" and the better he got at sleeping the lower the number became, now on bad nights its 'he won't still be doing this at 3!'. Even better now I can negotiate with him and he can tell me if something is wrong. It doesn't always work though. I stumbled into his room last night and stood at the door and asked what was wrong

A grumpy little face appeared and said

"My bottom all fluttery"

Turns out the label from his pyjamas had worked its way into his nappy, but it took some investigation first and he did go back to sleep!.

You have my total sympathy, its hideous, utterly hideous.

It is luck of the draw DC1 was my worst he had colic and stomach problems and would scream from 8 till 1 sleep from 1 to 4 so 3 hours and that was it I nearly ended up axe murdering DP but slept through at4 months DC2 as every two hours till a year old then only woke up once a night till 2 yo. DC3 is a dream and at 3 months goes down at 9 wakes at 3 then at 8 I am that I finally have a good sleeper It is hard when they dont sleep.

DD slept like that until she hit a year and I took away access to my boobs...

DD1 once went through a 30 hour period at 5 weeks where she didn't sleep for more than 5 minutes at a time, no more than a brief doze. It was scream, feed, doze, scream, feed, scream, scream, scream, doze, scream, and finally she just collapsed with exhaustion. DH and meself took it in turns to walk her round in the sling, which normally worked, but she must have had horrific colic. She was more wrecked than us by the end of it, I think.
Now she's 13 (years, not weeks or months) and we can't get her out of bed in the morning. She will quite happily sleep 16 hours on the trot.

Sounds pretty good for that age!

My dd slept far less. She would never sleep during the day unless in the pram, and had severe reflux and colic so spent the whole night screaming and vomiting. Around 3 months old the routine was feed for half an hour, scream, sleep for 10 minutes, vomit (often projectile) over herself and me, wake up distressed, scream, and then start again. I was knackered.

Believe me it could be a lot worse. Things also get better as they get older too.

OOhh this takes me back... I wish I could have read these messages when I had my first. We did everything trying to get her to sleep and I was exhausted. I felt so hopeless - everyone elses babies were sleepers. I was obsessed over how much sleep everyone else got. I thought I was the only one. First daughter would sleep for 20 mins at a time throughout the night. For months. She had a bottle of formula at night but still cried for a feed from me all night. The best thing anyone ever said was a neighbour's mother, a very capable and down to earth lady. She said she had 3 children and if her last had been her first, she wouldn't have had anymore as whatever she did he wouldn't sleep. My Mum, who wore out the soles of a pair of shoes pushing her round the village while I had a kip, said how horrendous it all was to me a couple of years ago but didn't at the time in case I thought it was my fault. I miscarried my second pregnancy but a good thing to come out of that was I actually then positively wanted to get pregnant again - beforehand all I could think of was 'here we go again' because of the lack of sleep. In contrast, my second daughter fed and slept then fed some more. I don't think I did anything differently. She still woke up once in the night at 3am for a quick breastfeed until she was three but the eldest would by then only wake once or twice. Getting six hours sleep all in one go made me a different woman! Daughters now 7 and 10.

To all those sleep deprived mothers out there:

1. It's not your fault, it is luck of the draw whether you get a sleeper
2. Over researching on how to get your baby to sleep will drive you even madder.
3. Sleep when they sleep. Try and make the kitchen and bathroom somewhat hygenic but leave the rest.
4. It will get better.
5. Some people say poor sleepers grow up to be very bright - hold on to that thought in the middle of the night!

I know all these stories are horrendous, but they are really making me feel better. DD wakes every night & is bouncing & ready to play. I get told all the time to try this and that but they don't understand, she's not faking it for attention, she really is AWAKE. It just makes me feel like they think it's something I'm doing wrong. It's good to hear there are others in the same boat.

Oh you poor lamb. DS used to do 10ish to about 5 but slept through. Did that from about five weeks old and he did have two hour nap in the afternoon. DD went down at about 7ish till about 11 ish but I could never rest because ds wanted attention. DD then woke up every two hours.

I remember feeling desperate and remember a friend whose 3rd was three weeks younger happily telling me about their camping holiday and how they tucked the baby between them and he slept from 10pm until 7am. I smiled at her and once I turned the corner I cried all the way home.

I;m sorry you have been feeling poorly - it is really hard esp if you have a dh who is working very very hard and you are supporting him too. It will pass.

Determines to drag teenagers out of bed before lunch time next weekend - very irritating because their infancy habits mean I can no longer sleep in at weekends.

there is research to support the link between poor sleeping and intelligence, but i think most parents in that situation would go for a less intelligent sleeper!!
What happens when she wakes up, does she seem to be in pain or just crying because she wants attention and to play?The trouble is that a child who knows they will get attention in the middle of the night can and do train themselves to stay awake.

Mums of teenagers please tell me you get your children out of bed as revenge? I will be demanding milk from DS every hour when he's 14:)

DS 2 slept as follows

1-6 months waking every 45 min from 8pm to 2am, awake awake until 5am back to sleep until 8. 3x20 min day naps.

6-7 months waking every 2 hours taking 30min to resettle from 8.30pm to 7.30am.

8 months JUST ONE WEEK AGO past 2 days, a couple of 5 hour stretches then last night 9, yes nine, hours. I woke up at 4am, checked him and fell back to sleep until 6. Astounding. A freak event though. Am not anticipating a repeat and am sure will be every 2 hrs again tonight.

Was going out of my mind. Irritable, hallucinations the works. just starting to recover. dS1 sleeps great. But only since 2 years old. I want them to share a room and get ds2 out of my room. But I think it will be a while yet.

Its really hard isnt it? It DOES get easier!

I could hugely defy you. My babys sleep problens are health related and wouldnt help by saying "Oh mines SO much worse. He..."

Like someone else said, that does sound quite normal.

There was a thread on here recently about babies who wake 3-4 times between 7pm-11pm

I was SO grateful for that thread making me realise its not just us.

Its not just you. It does get easier.

My son is 2.5 years old, and hardly sleeps. I'd have loved a baby that sleeps as much as yours!

My DD slept through 12 hours from 5 weeks

My DS never slept for more than two hours at a time, he's exactly like me, a very light sleeper. He's getting better as hes getting older, but he's now 9.5 and still up on average 3 times a night- but he doesnt demand attention, he just lies there, or reads, or on his most annoting nights, sings!

Poooor you. really. It's the pits.
I once went to a wedding of a friend of DH's. Very loud and bouncy kind of a bloke (The friend). I spent a while chatting with the mother. Even though the guy was 32 she still wanted to talk about how he had n e v e r s l e p t when he was little and how she had never got over it.
Mine (3 of them) were not sleepers and I could get quite unhinged with jealousy and rage about those smug parents of sleeping babies. Honestly. I could have even enjoyed those years with just a teeny bit more kip.
As an aside I would say I have read everything there is about sleeping and tried to put into practice, I treated both my twins exactly the same and one would nap and one not. It's NOT you it's THEM.
ps. It's 22.00 and one of the twins (9) has just wandered down (3rd night in a row), "can't sleep".
At least I can now tell them to bugger off and read another book. Sigh.

Yes yes to getting comments that 'they really are awake, not doing it for attention'. My mum keeps talking in code around my three year old saying dont let her hear you. I keep saying she doesnt take notes on a jotter under her pillow, planning her next attack. Nowadays i can put her in my bed and she'll drop off but she's often wide awake asking me questions which i ignore.

Dh asked her why she wakes and she replied 'i have all these ideas in my eyes that i want to tell you'. I can believe it. From birth she is never rested. Manic. Loopy. Wired. But she walked at 9 months and is highly articulate prob from constant stimulus!!! But yes i'd rather she slept. And i'm the only one out of five mummy mates that has a non sleeper and they all throw the supernanny ideas at me.

My mum asked to have her, i was reluctant as her sleep is so bad i didnt think it fair on anyone. My mum basically making out she could sort her so i relented. When i picked her up, mum gushing that dd has slept through 8pm til 7am in her own bed. I then feel shit.

Stepdad pipes up, only cos your mother had to get in bed with her when she woke at 4am!!!!!! fix her my arse mother!!

At one to two ds used to wake up for hours in the night talking about colours and letters and numbers and animal noises and wanting to play and watch the birds wake up and talk about stories, etc., etc.. DS has 11 A*s and one A. He did a tiny bit of revision.

DD was more mum dependent and slept more but it was more broken sleep and she always slept later in the mornings. On average has always needed about 90 minutes more than DS (although as the older teenager he now sleeps for England). DD is top average and will achieve but will have work her cotton socks off to do so.

My DS is four and a half and has never slept through the night.

Mind you, once you accept that it isn't your fault it gets much easier.

DS 11 months wakes every 45 mins if he's in his cot!

Babies can sleep?!

Didn't know that...

Sleep deprivation is awful, isn't it? She's already doing three hour stretches at five months, though, so it can only improve from here on!