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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to better myself or is it all too late?

30 replies

LifeHope11 · 17/01/2012 23:42

I want to study for a professional qualification which I am three quarters of the way to completing. I have a full time job in the same field as my profession (which I gained last year after being made redundant some months before that - so I still feel a bit vulnerable) - there is no guarantee that this study will actually help me in my job though I do like learning. I have saved up so can fund it myself.

BUT here are all the reasons not to do it:

I have a severely disabled DS (10), he is at school now but don't know what the future will bring re caring for him when he leaves school, I am also worried about what abolition of DLA will mean for us;
There are limited jobs - no guarantee that career wise this will open any doors at all;
I am reaching a 'landmark' birthday this year (50! Aaargh!! It is so incongruous, not my emotional/spiritual age at all, I would like to be younger again please).

Should I forge ahead with this plan? Or am I being a delusional middle aged woman with a mid life crisis, who should admit that she has progressed as far as she is going to in life and learn to love what she has? I so want there to be much more to life but maybe there just isn't?

What would you do?

OP posts:
AKissIsNotAContract · 17/01/2012 23:47

You've got another 15 years of working, 50 is not that old. I'd keep going on the course if I were you. I think you're more likely to regret it if you stop than if you continue.

TopazMortmain · 17/01/2012 23:49

Forge ahead! Do! It sounds like a really positive step.

Smile
HoneyandHaycorns · 17/01/2012 23:53

Go ahead - it's never too late to learn something new, and you're three quarters of the way through already!

Go for it!

shortcutplease · 17/01/2012 23:53

Stick at it.

Tranquilidade · 17/01/2012 23:57

Go for it OP! I am similar age and have returned to work recently after a HUGE career break and am enjoying the challenge of work and studying (although believe me it is a big challenge). Knowledge is never wasted, even if you don't work in that field once you qualify it will be good for you in terms of your confidence, etc

weetabixforeva · 18/01/2012 00:03

Continuing your studies will help provide a path to discovery of that "much more to life", whatever it might be. There are many doors that might open for you, not just career ones. Keep going; it sounds like you've already achieved a great deal. Be proud of yourself.

Spermysextowel · 18/01/2012 00:09

Your reasons not to do it are all reasons to do it. You've come so far; carry on & hope you get there.

ManicPanic · 18/01/2012 03:42

I would do it.

It's worth reminding yourself that nobody has a completely cast iron career plan - success is never guaranteed. Anything is always a risk. But it's far more demoralising to never have taken that leap of faith in the first place, and stay in the comfortable rut...

TroublesomeEx · 18/01/2012 05:48

If you're 3/4 of the way through you're past the point of no return anyway.

Even if you don't use it when you have, you will have the satisfaction of knowing that you have done it and as someone else said, knowledge and education are never wasted!

Good luck.

jollyoldstnickschick · 18/01/2012 08:09

Get it done!!!

This government is bad enough without taking away your aspirations .....your ds is 10 by the time hes leaving education there will be another bunch of monkeys government running this country......

Go Girl ....and 50 is no age to start believing you cant do something!!

aldiwhore · 18/01/2012 08:11

You like learning, so its worth it.

It might lead to something better, it might not, they're added possible extras.

The key is, you like it. No brainer for me!

YWBU to stop out of fear of the unknown. Go for it. x

Whatmeworry · 18/01/2012 08:17

Go for it. The DLA hasn't gone yet, and increasing options is always good. Besides, you enjoy it...

Original poster
LifeHope11 · 18/01/2012 08:34

Thank you so much all of you, I get support from Mumsnetters like nowhere else. I did want to go for it really but just need that extra push.....I do feel cheated of much of my future (DC disability and attendant problems, redundancy, lack of career opportunities - no one's fault just the way things are) but what is life about but to fight our way through as best we can?

Worried about how to manage the demands of study with DS & job....has anyone else successfully managed this kind of situation? I suppose where there's a will there's a way.

OP posts:
mamalovebird · 18/01/2012 08:42

Do it! I am also 4 exams away from a professional qualification which has taken me nearly 10 years to get through, in between jobs changes, house moves, relationship breakdowns, getting married and having a baby. I am back studying again as I'm determined not to waste all that brainpower and nights in to get this far.

If nothing else, do it for the sense of achievement. If it's like the level of mine, it's a hard qualification to win.

My DS is 2 now and although not as demanding as your DS, I study for two hours a night 7-9pm three times a week (in term time only mind, I'm not that good)

As for jobs - you never know what's round the corner. The achievement of such a qual will take you up a level in eyes of whatever you end up doing!

TheScarlettPimpernel · 18/01/2012 08:42

I work for the Bar, and I see new barristers of 50 (and older) at least 2 or 3 times a year.

You are by no means delusional and I bet you fifty quid it won't be too long before someone comes along who has achieved something very like what you want to achieve.

TheScarlettPimpernel · 18/01/2012 08:43

Oh and on demands of study with your DS - it will not be easy. But none of us know what's just round the corner: a single woman with no children and few problems can begin studying for a qualification and within 6 months have her life turned upside down. SO in a way, you are kind of on a level footing with anyone else, because who bloody knows what might happen to those appear to have it easier!

I realise that is slightly convoluted logic but you know what I mean....

Adversecamber · 18/01/2012 08:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ExpatAgain · 18/01/2012 08:52

pragmatically, I'm thinking 3 issues
can you afford a) the course fees b) the time still??
c) will it almost certainly give you payback??
-how generically "useful" is this course likely to be - eg do jobs you'd like to get request it or a similar qualification at a similar level/

if yes to all 3, carry on, if 2 out of 3, maybe, if 1, no!

ExpatAgain · 18/01/2012 08:54

just to add i am 8 modules down, yay! I'm a dissertation away from my masters!
this is after a long hard struggle over several years to study/look after kids/work/change work/change continents . Not easy at all but glad I've got this far!

BandOMothers · 18/01/2012 08:55

50 is the new 40....things aren't what they were with regards to life expectancy and our working lives. You have possibly 20 years of working life left! Go for it!

Hullygully · 18/01/2012 08:56

do it

do it

do it

You only regret the things you didn't do

SayCoolNowSayWhip · 18/01/2012 09:04

Go for it. You've come so far; to give up now would be wasting everything you've hitherto achieved. I'm studying for a degree whilst working and with a 1 year old. It's hard work, but as other people have said, that sense of achievement is priceless. Do it!

:)

yeahyeahitsallmyfault · 18/01/2012 09:09

www.direct.gov.uk/en/Nl1/Newsroom/SpendingReview/DG_192159

a bit of a negative motivational factor, but you've got longer than 15 years left at work. Keep at it!

perceptionreality · 18/01/2012 09:13

DLA is currently changing only for working age people (for now).

ReindeerBollocks · 18/01/2012 09:55

Does it require practice units/study? That's the only area that might cause problems, if like a nurse for example you have to do a lot of shift work it may cause problems fitting it all in, however if you speak to the person organising it then they may be able to accommodate your needs.

I am still in the middle of gaining a professional qualification (and am supposed to be studying for my exam this afternoon). I also have a disabled DS who, as time goes on, will need more assistance and care. It hasn't stopped me yet, and quite often my studies help detract from my situation.

Do you have lots of support in place for care of your DS? I wish you all the best, and I bet you have a great sense of commitment for your studies, which can place you ahead of younger, more laissez faire students.