to only invite 19 of the 30 children in DD's class to her party

[whoneedssleepanyway]

It is DD1's 5th birthday in March and having not thrown her a proper party yet I want to do one this year. Prices in SW London are nuts but have managed to find an affordable deal at a sports hall with bouncey castle etc.

Max numbers are 25 which means that after taking account of DD, her sister and 2 friends from outside school she could invite 21 children from her class.

There are 18 girls in her class (excluding her) and 11 boys. She is very friendly with 1 little boy in particular and 1 other boy is son of a friend of mine.

WIBU to invite all 18 girls and the 2 boys she is friendly with and leave out the other 9 boys....

If I was inviting just girls I wouldn't give this a second thought but as she will invite 2 boys I am feeling a bit guilty about the other 9...(1 of whom did invite DD to his party and she went).

Sorry a bit long winded but thanks if you have read this far!

YANBU its not as if it's 2 or 3 lads left out...it's fine.

That sounds fine. You are inviting all the girls and just 2 of 11 boys. No one being targeted or obviously excluded.

I would say in a class of 30 you need to invite less than 20 if a mix. Any more and it looks like you are deliberately excluding some children.

Same goes for girls/boys - around half or less, any more and exclusions look deliberate and obvious.

I invited the whole Reception class to my DS's party just before Christmas. 98% of invited guests turned - some with siblings. Never again - no good deed goes unpunished. My intention was not to upset the minority of children my DS had not invited. I/my DS go to a party with the intention of having a great time and to be fair most people had the same idea. Some people have very high expectations of what should be provided in 1 1/2 hours.

For what it's worth I would be entirely happy of my DS was in the minority and not invited to a birthday party. Friendships can change in between the invitations going out and the party.

The best piece of advice I received from MN was to maintain grace in the face of extreme rudeness.

I am sure you DD will have a lovely time. Good luck.

of course YANBU. Agree that it is important to be sensitive when giving out the invites but cannot believe that people think you ought to invite every child! That is crazy. Yes, it would be unfair to invite all accept 1 or 2 but otherwise... I teach little ones who have big parties, small parties and all kinds of variations in between. We VERY rarely have problems. I think if you don't make a big deal about it then the kids don't either.