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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to take my 3yr old DS to ballet classes?

63 replies

choceyes · 17/01/2012 12:05

I know my DH will be Hmm at me, but I've found a ballet class in town for 3-5yr olds and planning to take my DS to it.

Is it unusual for a boy to learn ballet? I think I will draw the line at buying him ballet shoes. The instructor said barefoot was fine.

So AIBU?

OP posts:
Groovee · 17/01/2012 13:33

My dd has been doing ballet for 9 years and there have been a few boys in her classes. It's good for discpline and as a concentration builder.

BandOMothers · 17/01/2012 13:44

YANBU I have just been writing a profile of Mathew Bourne the man behind New Adventures...the company who did the male version of Swan Lake and I have to say that those men were some of the most stunningly athletic-looking men I have ever seen!

Harecare · 17/01/2012 13:47

My little brother asked to go when he was about 5 and his sisters had already stopped. He eventually ended up at the royal ballet school. He kept it a secret at school, but he thought it was great to be the only boy amongst so many girls while his older sisters were taking part in army cadets surrounded by boys!

dandelionss · 17/01/2012 13:50

No quite a number of boys start at that age.It's keeping them going once they get past 6 or 7 that's the trouble

naturalbaby · 17/01/2012 13:53

Why would it be unreasonalbe? There are male professional ballet dancers aren't there? I'm keeping an eye out for a suitable class for my boys. If I had girls I'd probably be looking out for a football or rugby class for them.

Original poster
choceyes · 17/01/2012 14:01

he will have beautiful posture, an appreciationn of music and a way with the ladies that no other lad will have a clue about.

sounds fab!! I'm really excited about taking him now. DH will be a bit hesitant at first, but won't stop him from going ofcourse.

it all sounds like a lot of fun too.

I hear what you say about the body facism bellybat - and I agree with you. I don't any of my children going through anything like that. Hopefully at 3yrs of age it'll be a just a fun activity for him for the moment, and also want him to develop his musicality.

OP posts:
PermanentlyOnEdge · 17/01/2012 14:04

My DS started at 3 at his request after reading 'dogs don't do ballet'. He couldn't handle being in class without me (total mummy's boy unfortunately), so he stopped, and then asked again at 4 and now loves it. He wears black ballet shoes, black leggings and a long sleeved white thermal top from M&S in winter, and black close fitting boxers and white vest in summer. His ballet school has boys in many classes and an all boys class for 7 and over.

Don't take any notice of yr DP. If yr DS likes it, he likes it, if he doesn't he doesn't. So long as its up to him.

tigerlillyd02 · 17/01/2012 14:08

I think it's perfectly fine. I had some stick from my family for taking DS (2.2) to gymnastics Confused

However, he loves it and it's great exercise in my opinion. Better than sitting around. If he ever decides he doesn't want to do it anymore then that's fine but at the moment he doesn't have any concept of boy/girl things and enjoys all things across the board and so I don't make any issue of it - he even has a doll, much to the dismay of my family! But equally, he has lots of 'boy' things too.

I would also take him to ballet if I came across a class round here. I get him into lots of groups at the moment to keep him occupied, for fun, to encourage sport and exercise and for the socialising aspect. It doesn't matter what that class is, as long as he enjoys it.

wadingthroughgourds · 17/01/2012 14:34

Both my boys go to ballet classes (4 and 5 years) and my eldest has just moved up a class and does tap dancing too now. My boys think it's amazing, they get to prance around non stop and get praised for it - as opposed to the rest of the week when we are desperately trying to make them BE STILL!

After seeing what they 'teach' them at this age I would say it's fairly gender neutral, it's more about the children having fun moving their bodies.

My DP regularly takes them to class and thinks it's a great thing for them to be doing - as long as they are enjoying themselves they will continue to go.

I've only encountered snootyness about them being 'ballet-boys' once and that was from one of the other mothers at my boys class who was a bit Hmm about her daughter sharing a class with 'boys'.

Everyone else I know thinks its great and is very supportive... to my face anyway!

TheresASpareChairOverThere · 17/01/2012 14:42

YANBU taking anyone to ballet, YABVU making such a fuss about gendered activities at 3 years old. These questions depress me.

TinyArmy · 17/01/2012 14:57

My DH stopped his ballet lessons when he was 7 because other boys were bullying him. He started taking adult ballet lessons when we were in Uni and still goes once a week. Sometimes he has recitals and it is great fun for our kids.

SarahJessicaParker · 17/01/2012 15:02

Been taking DS1 (now 6) & DS2 (4.5) for nearly 2 years-they love it! Ballet, tap & modern! We will also let DS3 go when he's older if he wants to! We originally took them to dance class because there was no other classes in the area they could both go to at the ages they were then-they are now eligible for other extra curricular things (scouts, football etc) but choose to carry on with dancing! If/when they no longer enjoy it then they don't have to goSmile I must say though, the sense of pride when we went to their first show in the summer was immense-if they'd leapt on stage in a billy Elliot type move I don't think I'd have been prouderGrin

Original poster
choceyes · 17/01/2012 15:07

YABVU making such a fuss about gendered activities at 3 years old. These questions depress me.

oh get a grip. This is just a light hearted thread. I wasn't making such a fuss anyway.

PermanentlyOnEdge - Didn't they let you sit in on the class? I hope this class does let me be there. I can't leave my 3yr old in a new class all on his own!

I never stop DS from having any "girlie" things he wants. He has a toy pram, a doll, and I even let him wear his 17 month old sisters hair clips if he wants ,although she takes them right off.

OP posts:
VikingLady · 17/01/2012 15:53

BandOMothers Having seen the Matthew Bourne Swan Lake, I have to agree about the dancers, and Adam Cooper (the lead) is married with a kid. Clearly dancing does not lead to homosexuality.... As if that is a bad thing, anyway!

Going to look at some more pics of Adam Cooper now...

TheresASpareChairOverThere · 17/01/2012 16:05

It seems, then, that I'm not very good at distinguishing between light hearted sexism and serious sexism, for which I apologise OP. I shall go and get a grip now.

TroublesomeEx · 17/01/2012 16:26

I doubt there's much sexier than an adult male ballet dancer.

I really don't get the 'effeminate' label.

lolaflores · 17/01/2012 16:28

in fact we should all be at it. i would love adult and kiddy ballet classes. What a thought. Mine would hide in a cupboard till they made me go away.

BandOMothers · 17/01/2012 17:39

Billy Elliot did a lot to dispel the myths about male dancers. Especially that shot at the end of the adult Billy about to make his debut in Swan Lake.

MonaLotte · 17/01/2012 17:44

DS1 goes and he is 3 1/2. He went to a dancing birthday party and really enjoyed it and wanted to go again. He loves it! They did a little Christmas show for the parents which was so cute!
I wouldn't have put him unless he had asked. Our dance school has special boys only classes too for street dance etc. But that is for 5+. They have loads of boys at it.
Hope your DS has fun :)

PicaK · 17/01/2012 17:48

I took my little boy - and he didn't fancy it at all. Which is fair enough. I reckon part of my role as parent is to put new experiences in his way so he can see what he likes and what he doesn't.

That said, if you only have a DS like me, you might find the amount of pink that can be stuffed into one room quite alarming.

I have to say i'd love a dance class for him where they whacked on something like ride of the valkyries at full volume and let the kids run round.

quirrelquarrel · 17/01/2012 17:55

Yes, it's great for your DS :-) tell Mr. (potential) Nureyev that he's being ridiculous if he makes a Hmm face

But bear in mind that proper ballet training shouldn't start until about eight (think you can even start at twelve).

TimeWasting · 17/01/2012 18:14

I just took my 3yr old DS to his first dance class today. Lots of jumping, galloping it was great!

ThePetiteMummy · 17/01/2012 18:29

I'm an ex-professional ballet dancer, and I say let him go! It's great exercise, and will give him an appreciation of music. The odds of him pursuing it as a career are fairly slim, so just view it as a hobby. Don't worry about the pressure about physique etc, no decent teacher would exert this on children so young. Of course there are certain physical requirements if you want to become a professional, as you just can't do some of the movements if you're not built in a certain way (good turn out for example), but that's just the way it is. No different to pursuing a particular sport to a high level. And I must say that contrary to popular belief, by no means are all male ballet dancers gay! It's also great for installing discipline, something that can usefully transfer to other areas later in life.

Do get him some shoes, boys can wear black or white shoes, and have elastic, not ribbons! Some of the movements involve sliding the foot along the floor, so he could hurt his feet if they were bare.

The dance school will most likely welcome him with open arms, there are always far too few boys in a class. Age 3 is a good time to start, and definitely no later than 5, those who start later and carry on are few and far between (although Nureyev is one example!).

Hope he has fun, whatever you decide!

SirSugar · 17/01/2012 18:40

My DS aged 5 does ballet. Sometimes he moans a bit when he has to go but always enjoys it. He has really good core strength and balance which the ballet has helped him to build.

Whether he continues later on will be up to him, at the moment I book a term as its in the school, but hes always happy to do another term

bananarama05 · 17/01/2012 18:40

Apologies if this has been covered I'm in the middle of getting dd to bed so haven't read the whole thread yet.

My dp was made to do ballet as a child by his football coach. This was on the basis it helped with balance, strength, co-ordination etc and the whole team were encouraged to take it up.

Just thought it may go some way to answering any "concerns" on your dp's front. Not that you should need to, I know, I know.... :)