To offer

[cidrenomore]

a child who I knew did not eat meat beef casserole!!! In my (scanty) defence, did not know said child would be staying for tea, was just after school arrangement, tea was planned, child comes over, parent says, might be a bit later x will have to have tea with you...I blurted out what we would have...not now having tea with us. I know I could have managed it better, just not sure how...

The parent TOLD you that the child would HAVE to have tea with you?

That's quite rude.

Of course YWBU.

How could you have managed it worse?

yanbu as I assume you didn't want to feed the child

So parent imposes their child on you for a meal for their own convenience and you have the audacity to say you'll be serving beef casserole? What were you thinking?

So to clarify....

Child's parent says child will have to have tea with you

You say "we're having beef casserole"

Child's parent says child is now NOT having tea with you.

Did she expect you to organise a vegetarian option for her DC?

Well, I suppose the polite and calm response would have been "No that won't be possible, as we're having beef casserole", but it can be hard to be calm and collected when people suddenly assume their vegetarian child will have tea with you without any warning. They presumably know you are not vegetarians, so it was a pretty huge assumption that your tea would be suitable!

Not a lot else you could do really.
I know in our house, if I'd then offered a vegetarian alternative to the stew already prepared, DCs would be taking it as an opportunity to put in different orders for cheese on toast/pizza, whatever instead of having their tea.

Ywnbu!

That's what you had for dinner, so that's that. It was sprung on you at the last moment, so there you go.

You would have been wrong to feed the child meat, but the parents were wrong to assume with no warning you would be in a position to find a veggie meal

What AMum said.

As usual :)

Depends on a few things really, did you say it to the parent as in "ok but this is what I have made and it's a bit late now to make another meal" or was it more like "I will be feeding your DC meat and if you don't like it, tough.". Agree it seems a bit rude to just assume last minute their child can eat with you but I suppose you could have done them beans on toast or something if no other veggie option was available.

people's princess

What??

I don't understand - why couldn't you have just said, "Of course they can stay longer if it's an emergency but I'm afraid the only thing we have for tea is beef casserole. But they're very welcome to toast / cereal / other effortless food stuff."

Other mother was being very cheeky though but you sound a teensy weeny bit not completely reasonable too.

Probably didn't explain properly, I knew child coming back, and had ( meat free)snacks ready. Then Mum said would come round at 5 and I said wait a bit and DH will bring her home. Probably about 5.30-5.45, then she said, will have to eat tea at yours then and I said, we having,etc etc.

I then offered other things but at that point had probably gone too far. Think is more religous than being veggie, and honestly would not want to cause offense, but feel maybe I have just by suggestion.

That's her problem then.

I still don't get the problem?

So you offered a non meat eater meat

I offered my MIL a cup of coffee the other day and then remembered she doesn't drink it

Should I be embarrassed?

pictish

The question asked wasn't "Was this woman rude to invite her child to dinner?"
but "AIBU to serve a non-meat eater meat?" In which case, yes obviously it's unreasonable.

Either offer the child something more suitable or not have her for dinner in the first place. Her response was not acceptable.

Then Mum said would come round at 5 and I said wait a bit and DH will bring her home. Probably about 5.30-5.45, then she said, will have to eat tea at yours then and I said, we having,etc etc.

Still not getting why on earth half an hours difference means that you would need to feed the child??

Did the child want to eat the beef casserole? I may be being ignorant here, but I dont know of any religion that should not eat beef other than buddhists. Hindu is fairly vegetarian but not exclusively.

Oh get knotted PP

Seconded.

The question asked wasn't "Was this woman rude to invite her child to dinner?"
but "AIBU to serve a non-meat eater meat?" In which case, yes obviously it's unreasonable.

She didn't serve the non-meat eater any meat so that can't be the question.

Either offer the child something more suitable or not have her for dinner in the first place.

She hadn't invited her for dinner in the first place. that's the point.

ok, sorry, forget I said anything. Just felt a great big fool and felt like had put my foot in it and should have thought before I spoke. But that is the story of my life...

YANBU :)

Would love the recipe that you use please OP, but guess you might be to busy etc. I understand :)

Do you use a slow cooker?