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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not bother saving this friendship?

26 replies

OliPocket · 16/01/2012 13:20

So, my neighbour and I became friends when I had my DC about a year ago. She was very helpful, gave bf advice, generally quite supportive, we had a laugh and became quite close friends. Anyway, as time went on she started making a few snippy comments, telling me I was doing the wrong thing (re DC) said a few spiteful things about people we know. It seemed like the more comfortable she was with me, the less tactful and careful she was about the things she said. I was a bit irritated I suppose but tried to ignore, ignore, ignore.

Just before Christmas my DS had a haircut. It was a bit short but nothing weird. I met neighbour in the street and she "Oli, it's too short...he looks like a little Jew boy on his way to a concentration camp". I was stunned into silence, made our excuses and went indoors. Since that day, I've seen her a few times in the street and been polite but actually I want to tear her a new one and never speak to her again.

It's painfully obvious that I'm pissed off with her but I haven't spoken to her about it. I just can't be bothered to even tell her what the problem is, let alone hang out with her again. She's been texting me to go for coffee at hers but I've been very vague and non-committal. I suppose what I'm asking is, AIBU to not tell her why I've gone cold on the friendship? Should I tell her even though it won't make any odds to how I feel?

OP posts:
lililolo · 17/01/2012 11:56

I would be every bit as f*cked off as you by that comment.

I have someone I thought was a friend say some very hurtful things to me recently too. Our children are friends so I have no choice but to be 'friendly'. My plan is to just smile, say hi and how are you, but no actual socialising. If she asks me for coffee (she hasn't) I'm just going to keep saying no. If she ever does ask me why I'm just going to say 'you really hurt me when you said xyz'. I don't think I'm punishing her or being rude, I just have better thing to do with my time than invest in a friendship that's hurtful and rude. I'd rather focus on other friendships and keep my distance.

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