to be dismayed that 5 years down the line.....I am avoiding most of my neighbours

[porcamiseria]

I have gone through life managing to meddle along with most folks, but now as I contemplate living in our house for nearly 5 years I am gutted that I am on non-speaking/avoiding terms with at least 5 neighbours. is it me? or is it them?

1. ex CM, had a fall out over hours. HATE HER, avoid. she is known to be a cow
2. family who asked us to cat sit, then got all wierd with us afterwards and ignored the birth of our child. no idea why, really upset DP who really put himself out. now awkward
3. neighbour that cheated on her DH, then it got MESSY. cant say much more, but she knows DP hates her and now its awkward and I avoid her. but as we used to be friendly (ish) its very awkwards
4. another neighbour that majorly shit stirred in issue above, two faced and dont trust her, now avoiding her too
5. neighbour that is OK, but made racist comment about local school that really discomfited me

so I am really hacked off as I used to love living here but now if I take my DC fior a toddle I literally have my head down. I want to move

has anyone else had this?

the fence issues being that angry neighbour wants us to replace the fence and we can't afford to and don't think it is necessary, besides we know that it is on the side which she is responsible for

her being so fundamentally unreasonable makes me determined to avoid her, even when that means not going to the gym at times I know she'll be there

it is not ideal, but it could be a lot worse

siamo, so true

ironically. I tried to make friends as when we were in Italy I LOVED the fact that you know everyone, chit chat etc

But I do appreciate the frank feedback as I am sure I have made some fuck ups on the way

lets hope they all move house ha ha

Porca - Italy is different! It just is! What I wouldn't give to live there!

Hi and goodbye is all you need with neighbours really. Help each other in emergencies. If one can have a short friendly chat with a neighbour one is lucky. I really do not get why people expect to know their neighbours private business. I'm not interested in theirs unless it affects me.

The woman directly next to me is a really nosey and her Grand Daughter told me she listens to me against out adjoinuing walls. I tried to get her to see i was an OK person. I was always polite and friendly but when it came to her inappropriate questions I refused to answer. This is the reason she dislikes me and I had 4 anonymous phone calls made about me to scoial services et.

I just ignore her now as she causes trouble with other neighbours. It is a relief. i think that no matter where i move to i will not feel obligated to get involved but it would be nice to have a good realtionship with a neighbour. I get on with everyone else fine, when i see them :)

She is very strange.

Like others have said, you sound a bit over-involved. I just couldn't be arsed with this level of drama. I know the couple upstairs from us a little bit, could go to them in an emergency, see others coming out of their houses and sometimes say hi. Actually, I'd like to know people a little better, but I live in London, so it's unlikely to happen.

1 - how can you hate someone because of a work thing? You think she screwed you over, she thinks you screwed her over (I'd guess). I would just try to get over this, say sorry and start again. Doesn't matter at all.

2 - probably just bad communication. I'd hazard that they think you're being weird too. Just ask them over for a cuppa or something.

3 - absolutely none of your business

4 - again, she doesn't sound nice, but you don't have to get too involved, doesn't mean you have to avoid her.

5 - just ignore racist people, life is easier.