To think this is overprotective?

[ditziness]

A friend's dd just started preschool at 2.5 years. After one session my friend is considering not sending her again because she thinks that her dd wasn't being looked after closely enough. My friend stayed for the whole session in an ajacent room, listening out for her dd. after half an hour she heard her dd telling another child " mine, no take it" do she went through and found a child trying to take her dd's toy. She gave the toy back to dd and complained to the staff that they hadn't noticed and intervened, then went back to sit in ajacent room. Apparently then 5 mins later dd came through to her, and the staff disn't notice her leaving the room. She was then furious that the staff weren't 't watching her dd. she complained again and went to sit next door and apparently dd spent the rest if the session trying to get through to her and crying.

I was surprised that she'd stayed, and that she'd interfered ! Do other people stay too? Does she sound unreasonable?

I have 1 friend who was the parent from hell for the nursery and is for the school. Very similar to your friend Ditziness. This friend is over protective because she struggled to conceive and had several late miscarriages. She's scared of losing her child. She's not happy how she acts but she cannot stop it. She's sought help and there's periods of less control then it goes back to OTT again. But blimey - it's hard work for the teacher and for her. I feel sorry for her cos' her mind never rests of possible risks and dangers.

Once she had to ask me to collect her daughter, take her to my home and provide her with a meal when her husband was taken into hospital. I was grilled for weeks on exactly what happened and how her daughter was ( she was a real little monkey but lovely).

I think the Mother's upset is about her own childhood. Not healthy for her DD, but of course I wasn't there. If there was hitting involved I too would have intervened if a member of staff couldn't because of whatever reason.

my god when the twins started nursery at the beggining of the month took their coats off hung them up and shoved them through the door before leaving skipping back to the car shouting FREEDOM

they seem to have survived a week and a half with this tatic so far :)

Well its obvious why the child was crying, its because she knew mummy was there! If your friend had left, or atleast not let the child know she was there, then I daresay there wouldnt have been any tears!

Stupid woman.

I don't think your 'friend' is being unreasonable not to send her child to a nursery that she has a bad gut feeling about.

I also don't think she is unreasonable to want to feel completely happy about somewhere she is leaving her 2 yr old.

She sounds very anxious about leaving her children. I was similar myself. You call this woman your friend but you don't sound very fond of her OP.

To be honest I'm very very find of her, and I worry a lot about what her behaviour does to her and to her kids. I also can't help it but feel insulted and annoyed at the constant overprotectiveness. To be constantly knocked back from helping in anyway with her dd. she won't even come to our local park because she's worried about dog poo and broken glass. I spend a lot of time there with ds, she makes me feel bad. She's always talking about how bad her family are financially and how she needs to get back to work, but refuses any help with Childcare to enable it. I know it's all her business, and her choice but it's very wearing to be around.

She sounds very anxious about everything. Is she okay?

It's a shame for her children because her anxiety will affect them. I agree with what cory said

Apparently yes, totally ok. But I think that she's not really, and many of her problems are either created or compounded by the overprotectiveness. I really want to say something and try and help her realise it. But she won't listen. According to her, she's fine and her children are fine and that's that. :-(

And she probably will be ok. But she'll lose friends, her career, Opportunities and her relationships will suffer, and in the long run I don't think her dds will thank her.

CoffeeDog

You should encourage your friend to take her again, my DD has just started pre-school after never having been to nursery and it is hard to let go, she just needs some more practise...

I do try. I think she Probably will cause she needs to go back to work. She might delay it by 6 months . Which wouldn't be the end of the world, but wouldn't be because he dd isn't ready, it would be because my friend isn't ready x