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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to book a holiday for the family without telling DH?

74 replies

PavlovtheCat · 15/01/2012 10:37

Been trying to get DH enthusiastic about going to centre parcs for a few days just before xmas next year. Just for a few days away from the grind together as a family.

He is likely going to working completely over the new year so I have picked a few days that he will be able to take off just before the rush. We might not get to spend much time over xmas together due to his work so thought it would be a nice thing to do. (actually, i need the break now which is why I am looking! with longing!).

DH is not disinterested, he likes the idea of it he is just a last minute person, does not like commiting, wants to check out better deals etc etc, and also does not want to spend lots of money as he has not been working for long in his job, so not 100% secure. He is also a ditherer and never gets around to 'doing' things, just talking.

If I wait for him to make a decision we might not be able to get what we want, it just won't happen.

So, AIBU to just go ahead and book it? and tell him afterwards that we are doing it? Only need to pay a deposit, which we can do right now and rest in sept, this means putting a few quid away each month which is completely possible, so even if his job does not work out it will be paid for and we will have a holiday if not able to go away at any other time (even if he is working this will be difficult to another time due to when he is busiest at work).

OP posts:
countessbabycham · 15/01/2012 11:22

I think the money issue is definately a consideration in your case.It truly wasn't in mine.

If you're worried it really has to be b)

I feel for you,particularly if he is the sort who manages to make everything so much more complicated than it need to be.

Can you agree to save some money towards a "deal" that's especially earmarked,so that can be used at some point in the future?

RuleBritannia · 15/01/2012 11:22

If the Centre Parcs you are planning to visit is near you, what's the point of going there? As some posters have said, £350 might not be much for a few days but some of them have experience of extras having to be paid for, totting up to the full amount you would have to pay. Surely, you could do the activities without going to Centre Parcs? Horse riding, cycling, ice skating, long walks - all with local groups. Using your own house as the accommodation (with which you are familiar) and daily local activities would cost a lot less than Centre Parcs.

RuleBritannia · 15/01/2012 11:23

Otherwise, book something well away from home eg Channel Is where you will escape from the self catering burden.

Original poster
PavlovtheCat · 15/01/2012 11:23

sapphire - what else is there to do?!! swim and sit by the fire, walk in the woods. I might let DD do an activity...one Grin

OP posts:
Sapphirefling · 15/01/2012 11:24

'The odd bag of chips' - at Centreparcs? Don't recall a chippy tbh...

Original poster
PavlovtheCat · 15/01/2012 11:25

it is not that near us that it is on our doorstep, but not too far that it will cost a fortune to get there (we live in devon, and wiltshire is close enough). But, saying that, we often go away for camping trips just 1 hour away. It is not the distance from our home that makes a holiday, but how different it is from our day to day grind, and how relaxing and enjoyable that is.

OP posts:
Original poster
PavlovtheCat · 15/01/2012 11:26

ok, well not chips then. bag of crisps, bar of chocolate, hot chocolate, whatever.

but you have to have spending money, whatever holiday you go on.

OP posts:
susiedaisy · 15/01/2012 11:26

the thing i do want to add is that if you take the kids do you want to spend the whole weekend saying no kids we cant do that ,no kids your not havin an icrecream, etc etc the whole park is designed to help relieve you of your cash, if all you are going to do is walk in a wood watch tv and cuddle up on sofa with home cooked meals you could do that at home surely? runs for cover as i get roasted alive

Original poster
PavlovtheCat · 15/01/2012 11:26

i say often go away for camping. often used to...Grin not tried it with a 2yo toddler yet!

OP posts:
Original poster
PavlovtheCat · 15/01/2012 11:28

susie yes, we could. But it is a different environment. And we don't live near the woods. I am not saying we won't spend any money there at all. Of course we will, just not £450!

OP posts:
Original poster
PavlovtheCat · 15/01/2012 11:28

and I don't have an open fire.

OP posts:
PrincessWellington · 15/01/2012 11:29

The website always tells you if there is low availability on the type of chalet(?) you want. Look at this and keep an eye on it if you want something specific. Also the quicker you book the closer you can request to be by the x(insert where you want) as its very big and a long way to walk if it's pissing down - although there is a land train which is, wait for it, FREE! The price will go up if limited availability and then come down really close to date. HTH
Wink

PrincessWellington · 15/01/2012 11:31

Susie - yes you could, but you wouldn't would you, you would be thinking x needs to be done, ooh I'll check mumsnet etc

catgirl1976 · 15/01/2012 11:32

YABU to go to centreparcs - i went once - was not good

However, if you like it YANBU to just book it. Sounds like your DH wont get round to it, so book it and just tell him slater in the year that its sorted.

countessbabycham · 15/01/2012 11:33

I do agree you don't need to spend a lot.I couldn't as we didn't have it and we had a fab time.

I've never been to anywhere like CP though.Is there a lot of stuff that would need paying for,and would it be in the kids faces?I'd imagine that situation could bring a bit of a downer.....

diddl · 15/01/2012 11:36

If you know that you want to go & that you will enjoy it then I would book rather than wait for an offer that might not become available.

Although I would tell husband that you intend to do that rather than present a done deal.

Or compromise by waiting a few months & making sure that you can put enough money away per month?

girlsyearapart · 15/01/2012 11:36

I know exactly how you feel! My Dh will not book or plan anything in advance or even discuss it..
Its a wonder we ever got married considering the forward planning it took!

I have considered booking holidays without telling him but he's so stubborn he d rather waste the money than go so I haven't ever dared do it.

We did also try to book centre parcs for this January but it was just so much more than it ever has been before so we didn't.
In a fit of Christmas spirit he let me & my sister book for us all to go to Sandy Balls (allegedly a CP alike place) next weekend.
It's £199 for a 4 bed lodge from fri 3pm to Monday 10am.

diddl · 15/01/2012 11:39

Sandy Balls?

Is that for real?

Daren´t google in case it´s a spoof!

ginnybag · 15/01/2012 11:41

OP, I've just done this - my DH dithers like yours and it drives me mad. We have very fixed dates when we can go away so I like to get cracking to sort stuff so we're not struggling closer to time.

This year, we agreed a budget and now it's done. But he doesn't know where we're going!

He's delighted he dosn't have to think abut it

ginnybag · 15/01/2012 11:41

*doesn't

girlsyearapart · 15/01/2012 11:47

Haha yes diddl- we booked on Xmas day so I've had a few weeks to get over the name!
It's in the New Forest

diddl · 15/01/2012 12:04

I´m off to explore!

RainboweBrite · 15/01/2012 12:14

I don't think YABU to book the holiday, as your DH sounds like mine and not much gets done unless you organise it all, but I have to agree Centerparcs is very expensive. I took DS there for a mid-week break last February half-term and we had a lovely time, but it cost me about £750, which is definitely the most I have ever spent on a short holiday. The accommodation cost about £400, so food and activities definitely add up, and that was based on booking everything in advance, so we didn't spend on impulse. I made breakfast and lunch every day and we either ate out or had a takeaway every night.I brought as much stuff from home as I could and only bought fresh stuff from the on-site supermarket. The only thing I would do differently is cut down the activities, but if you go and do no activities and cook all food yourself, is it really going to be much of a holiday for you? And my figure of £350 is for 1 adult and 1 child, so please think carefully.

EdithWeston · 15/01/2012 12:18

Sandy Balls is real! (As is sandyballs, I wonder if she'll see this thread?)

OP: you mustn't do it without telling, unless you really want to give him the perfect pretext to incur similar sized expense without consulting you.

YANBU to take the initiative to get this sorted now. Could you use his general inertia on this to your advantage? He's not averse to the idea of the holiday, and it is affordable. So coukd you just mention to him that you want him to make sure he'll be able to get leave XY December, as you're going to book the holiday tomorrow. If you're lucky he'll just grunt out something you can construe as agreement, and then you can go ahead.

Dragonwoman · 15/01/2012 12:34

I have never felt that you have to spend loads at cp. We meal plan and stock up in a supermarket on the way so only use the expensive cp shop for bread or milk. We take our own bikes. With a 2 yr old you won't get pestered for expensive activities like you would with an older child - the pool will be enough. Don't think we paid anything extra except for ice creams when going with under 5 yr olds.

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