to allow kids to come househunting for dad's new place?

[gonenative]

I know this may not be the right section but I need to get some speedy opinions!

My husband and I have recently made the decision to separate, after a couple of miserable years trying to work things out.

It's a really amicable, mutually accepted split. We told our kids, aged 3 and 7, a week ago, and they so far seem to be taking it all very much in their stride (tho I am of course aware that the fallout is still to come).

Our older daughter is really keen to be involved in looking for a new place for my ex (and her and her sister 2 nights a week) to live. We have a few flats lined up to view today and I just wanted to garner opinions on whether it is a good / bad idea for the kids to be involved in this process?

Thanks in advance.

If they want to be envolved and your ex is happy for them to be I don't see why not

Although we are house hunting and dont take them if possible as in the past they have wanted houses that just arnt suitable and then they moan!

Sounds good they can see their second home.

Thanks Moomin, yes I am sure we will have to prepare ourselves for some debates around whether places are right if we do take them as their criteria are probably not the same as my exes!

Thanks Fabby, my instinct is that it is good for them to feel in control of what's going on but wondered if anyone had advice to the contrary.

I think as they are going to have alot of changes over the next few months having them be as envolved as possible can only be a good thing

Maybe sit and explain to them that there are alot of things to look for in a house and not everyone they like will be suitable, ds2 wanted a house purly for the big tree in the garden and ds1 wanted one because it had a separate livingroom he could use, neither house was suitable for us all

Definitely a good idea. Helps them to feel part of things but just be prepared for them to have silly reasons for wanting or not wanting a certan place.

Hmmm. Yes, the children might want to see where they are going to 'live' but you, your (D)H and you are not the only ones involved in looking at accommodation. What about the householders you are going to visit? If I were selling my house, I would not want children with the viewers. I know that not all children are objectionable can't behave properly but I would be on tenterhooks if children accompanied prospective buyers to come to my house.

Don't take them round visiting loads of flats but when you finally find one then take them round so they can help make decisions about their bedroom etc before he moves in.