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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that, when there are limited seats...

23 replies

SoupDragon · 14/01/2012 11:07

... taking up an extra one with coats and sprawling across two is insufferably rude?

Waiting outside ballet and a father is doing just that whilst two mothers share a seat and I sit on the floor. He is also doing that Man Thing of taking up an inordinate amount of space with widely spread legs. Wanker.

I could, of course, say something but I am very non confrontational in this kind of situation so in shall simply whine about it here.

OP posts:
pudding25 · 14/01/2012 11:09

All you needed to say was excuse me, please can you move your things so I can sit down!

TiggyD · 14/01/2012 11:10

Maybe his balls were really hot and sweaty? You should have asked him.

trixie123 · 14/01/2012 11:10

Come on woman, yes he's being inconsiderate and its not that confrontational to just say "sorry, can I sit down please"? Its pretty hard to say no in that situation and if he does I'd love to hear his reason. I'm not big on confrontation either but this is really barely a conversation!

randommoment · 14/01/2012 11:10

What pudding says.

cornastasiaski · 14/01/2012 11:12

I hate it when men sit like that

WorraLiberty · 14/01/2012 11:12

Exactly what Pudding said

YellowDinosaur · 14/01/2012 11:12

YANBU but unless you say something to him he Will just continue to think there is nothing wrong with it won't he?

So unless you go and politely ask him if you can suit down I don't think he's that bad really.Averill he may presume you would rather stay near your friends than next to him and that is why you haven't asked to suit down

RhondaRoo · 14/01/2012 11:24

Polite question first - next step affront (should it be required) This is what I hate about our society.

I hurt my back last week, just as I was leaving work. I have 2 bus journey's to make before I get home. I got on the first bus and hobbled to the first row of seats (reserved for elderly, disabled - rightly so). I was ready to explain, should anybody ask, that it was impossible for me to make it to the back of the bus as my back was in spasm.

The bus from work becomes the bus to my area of town (brilliant planning Mr Transport - ithankyou! Grin ) so I don't need to change. No problem on the first leg of the journey. At the bus station quite a few elderly people got on (in their 70's/80's) I felt guilty but I really couldn't face the pain of going to the back. I was ready to say 'so, sorry, normally sit at the back'

eurochick · 14/01/2012 11:31

I just mutter "excuse me" at the same time as lowering my arse towards the most fragile-looking of the person's belongings. No one has ever failed to ensure they are no longer there by the time my arse touches down!

MrsPotter · 14/01/2012 11:47

I hate getting the bus sometimes, I had to get a bus into town with dd (meaning i had to take buggy and use buggy spaces) as I was positioning my buggy in the designated area, a young woman sighed loudly and PUSHED ME OUT THE WAY nearly sending buggy flying as i still had my hands on the handles. It wasn't an accidental push either, i felt both her hands in my side when she did it. Proper deliberate push. All I could do was just shoot a glare at her.

Victorialucas · 14/01/2012 11:50

Men do take up proportionately more space than women- there's been feminist research on it.

warthog · 14/01/2012 11:52

he was inconsiderate. doesn't take much to work that out.

GeneHuntsMistress · 14/01/2012 12:05

Just say excuse me please.

It's not like you're offering him out for a fight for gawd's sake.

Mooja · 14/01/2012 12:14

I hate that but you could ask.

I was horrified when I was attending an antenatal clinic at the amount of men that sat there with their partners pretending they hadn't seen all of the heavily pregnant women that couldn't find a seat. Not one of them stood up voluntarily. Wankers.

VikingBlood · 14/01/2012 12:56

I tend to say "excuse me" very loudly as I begin to sit down, it can be quite amusing seeing the look of shock and sudden scramble to clear the seat before my bottom lands.

yellowraincoat · 14/01/2012 12:59

He was being inconsiderate but come on! Just say "could you move your stuff?" I am the most terrified and shy person on the planet, but even I could manage that!

LRDtheFeministDragon · 14/01/2012 14:19

What yellowraincoat said. Just. Bloody. Ask.

If he huffs and puffs then you can get pissy but if you didn't ask, the fault is on you.

Wearyworker · 14/01/2012 14:23

Just say "Can I sit here please" (with a smile) and start to hand them their stuff, always works for me on buses :)

VonHerrBurton · 14/01/2012 14:32

Gene - 'offering him out for a fight' that's an expression I haven't heard since school!

Thanks for transporting me back and making me laugh!!!

laurenamium · 14/01/2012 14:54

Grin tiggy

Original poster
SoupDragon · 14/01/2012 14:57

Did anyone bother to read the last sentence of my post?

OP posts:
JugsMcGee · 14/01/2012 15:09

Politely asking someone to move isn't all that confrontational though.

Catsmamma · 14/01/2012 15:15

So you'd sooner be uncomfortable and PA than simply say "Excuse I'd like to sit down" ??

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