Women in department store loos - WTF are you doing in there?

[madonnawhore]

(inspired by another thread on here)

I was in John Lewis yesterday and needed the loo. There were two cubicles occupied and two people waiting ahead of me.

The two women occupying the cubicles took AGES. Ages and ages. WTF were they doing?

Eventually the right hand one became free, so the woman at the head of the queue went in. And then she took AGES.

And all the while, the left hand cubicle is still occupied by the same person, and it's been about 10 mins since I started queuing.

Seriously, WTAF? When I go for a wee, I'm in and out. No messing. Even if I need to change a tampon or something; no fucking around. Especially if there's a queue of people waiting.

By the time it got to be my turn I'd been waiting about 15mins for 3 women to have a wee. And the left hand cubicle was STILL occupied.

How long does it take you lot to wee? Are you one of those annoying 5 minute people that made me late for my hair appointment yesterday?

It was Debenhams with me. The place stank of piss, the queue was about 8 people long, out of 6 toilets one had an out of order sign on it so that leaves 5. The toilets on each end never opened or closed the entire time I queued, so that left two bogs. People started commenting on how long it was taking and how the cleaners should get in more often. I'm a quick pee-er, do myself up and flush and get out but in the past I have suffered from some kind of stage fright where I'm convinced someone will burst out laughing if they hear me pee and I have to put my hands over my ears to pretend I'm not making a noise and it takes ages to start and when you do you have to squeeze your belly and then you stop right away to listen for a laugh and ohforgod'ssakegetitoverwith...

I'm different now. I learnt to think.... 'eff you' so I can even go for a poo now if I have to.

Appalled at the state of the bogs in Debbies tho, thought they were a top notch dept store? This was Brum town btw.

Boom you put a was of loo rollc down and pee on it. This muffles the sound. Believe it also works on poo though of course I don't do that!!

Whenever I got into a toilet stinking of poo, I am revolted but also a tad envious. I wish I could poo in a public toilet. I have IBS and the amount of times I've cut a shopping trip short to go home......

What I dont get, is when a woman (?!) comes out, I go in and the toilet seat is up. Why?! What were you doing to need them both up?

I've often wondered exactly this. It happens during intervals for the theatre too - massive queue, 'the performance will commence in three/two/one minutes' countdown, and STILL people don't come out. I wee often, but never for long!

Yes, the loo seat up thing too! Are they really men in drag?

they are doing coke, oooh the rush of a john lewis purchase

The worse experience I ever had was on a morning commute train to London. I stood waiting AGES for someone to come out of the loo. Eventually, out came a very smartly suited gent. I went in and the worse stinking pile of shit was all up the sides of the toilet basin. He clearly had been trying to get it to go down the pan but it was everywhere and the flush is not strong enough on a train.

I obviously didn't use the loo but I was then stuck in there, heaving and eyes watering, frightened of coming out to find someone else waiting as they would think I made the mess.

Anyway, I braved it and, as I came out I saw one of the train shop assistants walking by. I told her that the toilet was disgusting and could not be used and she put a notice on the door.

I had to go back down through the coach with people staring at me and wondering what I had done in there.

I saw city gent on the way and threw him a filthy look whilst muttering "dirty bastard"

I am always a bit puzzled by pee spattered loo seats. Hovering would explain that.

The toilet in my local department store always smell hideous, yet have perfume adverts. I always think that is a dodgy place for people to advertise their fragrance.

My mother hovers!

Don't you think that anyone with decency, if they felt the need to splatter pee on the seats with their hovering, would wipe up afterwards?

I think I've sussed out (some of) the 'pee' splatters... when I flush at the work loo, it splashes up out of the bowl onto the seat and looks like pee splash! I flush then wipe and put the tissue in the wee bin!

I reckon it's people being too cheap to go and have a sit down and a cup of tea somewhere. So they rest on the loo. Killing 2 birds with 1 stone.

YY to stage fright.

Constipation?
The trots?
Reading a book?

There was one like that in Starbucks the other day, a long queue formed. Talk about a walk of shame on the way out....

i am fed up of seeing ads in loos saying 'you again? if you have bladder weakness it's not a sign of age'

Probably sorting their shoplifiting out

If you suffer from IBS your symptoms can mean that you get the most awful, nauseating, painful cramps - rather contraction like TBH - which make you feel as if you need the loo urgently.

Except, nothing happens .... for ages .... other than enduring that pain. And you daren't leave the loo because the urge to "go" feels so terribly urgent. Sometimes, an attack like that can take an hour or more before eventually you get some relief.

Does anyone really think that you'd sit in a (often unpleasant) public loo a moment longer than necessary ? But sometimes it just can't be helped .... because you just daren't risk the journey home. It's horrid and I hate it. Anyone who suffers from an "abnormal" bowel will be well aware that they're possibly being "judged" and/or tutted about by theb queue outside. The lack of privacy etc and the (sometimes) nasty surroundings doesn't help matters either.

What toomuchpudding said - they were probably putting on lots of shoplifted clothes under their actual clothes.

You'd have known if they had small children in there with them having a poo, probably. My son enjoys waiting until we're out for poos, and then takes ages.

Loo seats up - purging quite possibly :-/