To talk to housemate about his 'cleanliness' in the kitchen?

[confusedpixie]

Housemate is disgusting. Cannot wash up for the life of him, not one piece of crockery or cutlery is useable now (he has been here since the first of January) due to the amount of crap stuck to it, the grey sludge from his 4 'herbal' teas a day in the mugs, the pots and pans all have burnt pasta/rice stuck to them and dried on cheese on everything. The kitchen table has dried cheese, crumbs and various small chunks all over it, the countertops are the same and the sink has had to have heavy duty drain blocker down it due to copious amounts of rice being shoved down the sink that DP and I are having to pluck out of the sink every night.

We also have flies at the moment thanks to old house mates leaving a nice bowl of fruit in the kitchen before they went away and I'm trying in vain to get rid of them. They are breeding like mad and have even migrated upstairs (to where he is eating in his room I think).

DP and I got home at midday on the 3rd of January. I noticed the flies, immediately binned anything rotten left by the family, cleaned the kitchen top to bottom, even took the cupboards and fridge apart and then hoovered and cleaned the rest of the [absolutely tiny] house.

DP and I will be leaving in 6-8 weeks time (getting our own place!) and I'm not sure if I should say anything. He is somebody who I would like to stay in contact with once I leave as he's a genuinely nice person, but I think his habits are going to drive me mad.

I'd definitely say something, and if he's a genuinely nice person he shouldn't have a problem with it. It's not acceptable to live like that in a houseshare (unless your housemates are as equally disgusting).

Last night I told him I'd killed two bugs that day he asked what the smudge on the cupboard was ), he got really worried about my karma I said to him this morning as he left that I was going to be cleaning the house top to bottom in the hopes of beating the bugs. He just laughed and wished me luck :( He's gone away until Monday now so I'm going to clean, and get very upset and annoyed if he wrecks it once he gets back in a very vocal way.

there is now green shit all over the counter from where he spilt his smoothie this morning and didn't clean it up. I popped into his room to open the window (we have a condensation problem and windows need opening/closing every day) and he has stashes of plates up there which explains the bugs migrating :(

We'll be having words when he gets home I think.

I can't believe you're cleaning up after him!

Nice person or no, this is revolting. Do you have a mutual landlord or what? I would be telling him you are disgusted, he is not keeping his side of the agreement (your tenancy will require you to keep the place clean), and you will be informing the landlord/lettings agency.

Sorry, I need to say this again - why on earth are you cleanign up after him?

Tell him to clean up. You don't have to be fanatical about cleanliness not to want to live in a bio-hazard.

I didn't notice the shit all over the counters until he'd left, I was coming down the stairs as he was going out of the door, I would've asked him otherwise. I can't believe he left the house leaving a green puddle on the counter! Up until this point he's at least shoved everything to the corners so it's relatively unnoticeable and has been a bit of a teenager in terms of cleaning ability (he's 29 ffs).

I will be emailing the landlords if my talk with him on Monday gets nowhere and telling them that I'm cutting my contract short due to him, I don't want to live with him if he doesn't clean up his act, they can when they return in March.

I wouldn't clean up after him if I wasn't so fed up of these bugs I can live in slovenly conditions if I have too, but the bugs make me feel sick). I was planning on chatting to him this afternoon, just a "hey, can you reclean the cups/plates" but now he's getting a fucking lecture. Especially as he only told me he'd be back Monday as he was leaving the house. Surely it's common courtesy, if you're going away, to tell the people you live with so that they can adjust things (like heating, opening/closing windows, etc) accordingly? Not leave with a mess in the sink and on the side?!

I'm actually getting more angry about it the more I clean the kitchen. But then a 5kg box of washing powder has gone everywhere because he's been ignoring the precise instructions to wipe down the sides by the sink unit leaks and it's gone everywhere underneath (unnoticeable unless you tke things out of the cupboard). The place where the wash board goes is covered in linseeds from his meals, there is rice stuck in the sink again. I'm pretty sure he's not opening his windows as he's been instructed to do as well but that's the landlords problem, not mine.

Any chance a rota would work - alternate who does the dishes/kitchen on a daily basis? It would mean you'd end up washing some of his stuff, hopefully before it got too old and encrusted, but it sounds like him washing up and so on every third day might be an improvement on him never cleaning anything...

Id pick it all up and bin it, id leave him paper plates to use too and plastic knives and forks.

YOu were wrong going in his room. Flies have a life span, you keep getting them because there are eggs.

Seriously where are you when he makes the mess to start with, I'd not be nice I'd be calling him a scummy cunt.

A rota for the kitchen might, but not washing up, we take care of our own stuff as and when as we're all busy at different times. I'm out between 7am and 7pm depending on the day, DP is in and out all day as the uni is only a fifteen mins walk and his job is ten mins in the car and housemate is out all day I think, going to yoga classes and 'researching [his] business plan' but yet still leaves shed loads dirty somehow.

I will try a kitchen rota, might even teach him how to clean the hob and sides properly!

Fabby: I asked if he wanted his windows opened and he agreed, sorry, didn't mention that before I'm not the type to snoop unless invited too! Don't really need to in his room, he leaves the door wide open day and night

Sorry ... why did you ask if he wanted his windows opened? He' a 29 year old man sharing a house with you. Let him open his own windows or stew in his own filth.

Honestly, I would be doing as fabby says, bagging up his rubbish and putting it in his room. If you clear up after him, he will keep assuming you can do it.

He sounds utterly revolting.

We very rarely see him cook thinking about it. I know he makes smoothies in the morning as we're still being lazy in bed at 7:30 when he does it. He makes dinner before either me or DP get home and make ours. He dishes up after we get home though and usually washes up within an hour. Last night I was home whilst he made dinner, but I was in bed. I think the stuff in there could be from his dinner last night, there's a dish from mine that's been soaking overnight but I'm sure DP ate out and I don't think house mate was cooking this morning?

He's like a poltergeist, we see him at really odd times of the day but there is always mess :o

Habit I suppose? Me and the lady who lived here before would sort out each others windows and help one another out. Even though her husband is a twat, I'm really starting to miss her and their son!

I'm a complete muppet aren't I? He's actually walking all over DP and I because we haven't got the balls to say something about the small things. AShame he's overstepped the mark, ey?

I can't get my head around anything in the OP's posts other than she is cleaning up after/around a 29 year old adult - it sounds more like a mum/teenage son relationship than anything else!

I would not be cleaning up around this person. And despite what you say about him being a "nice person" - I think respect for communal living arrangements indicates how "nice" someone is, and this person sounds like an utter knobhead.

Sorry, I'd report the problem to the landlord and let them deal with it. Certainly not become the household skivvy!

Pile his stuff up in the corner of the kitchen, including dirty dishes.

Keep your own cutlery/clean pans and put them in your cupboard/your room and only use those.

Unfortunately people like this don't grow up no matter how often you talk to him.