AIBU to want to tell her that she is a selfish brat?

[KittyFane]

I have a mum friend who is getting on my nerves.
Whenever anything needs doing - collecting a takeaway, dry cleaning, ironing, gardening, painting a room, taking and collecting DC from activities etc etc she says dismissively "oh, I'll get DH to do it" or "DH will do that".
I'm starting to think she does nothing but order him around.
I'm half jealous (that he does whatever she wants him to do) and half disgusted with her spoilt ways.
I feel a bit unreasonable to even have an opinion about it because it's their life. So am I ? :) !

MrsSleepy I would love someone to be at my beck and call so helpful. So it could be seen that way.
I dislike demanding, bossy people so that is a big part of it.

going I see that yes but I wouldn't 'ask' as much I don't think.
I'm quite independent in many ways!

Do you know she demands? Maybe she just asks him or just maybe he offers?

It's all in the tone of voice "oh, he'll do that"
My DH will do things. I don't assume though.

:)

In any given situation, do you feel able to ask DH to overtake tasks that maybe you have the time to do, usually? IE- in the event of you being taken poorly?

(I didn't think I could of my ex, but he amazed me when i had meningitus)

Maybe she is a dom and he is her slave and it keeps their relationship going?

Just a thought!

going yes, often!
As I said, it's the way things are said.
For example, the DC need taking to and picking up from a party-
You don't want to do it, even though you could quite easily.
Do you say "I'll get DH to do that one" or do you say "I'll see if DH will do that one".
There's a difference in my mind.

Either you like her or you don't. I have some bossy friends-they are still good fun. Don't comment-it won't go down well. If you feel you have to say something be prepared to have her as an ex friend.

tardis :o

oh FFS!

I say this all the time... DH will run you to the hospital, DH will look after the kids while we go to bingo. etc

but it doesnt mean that i am ordering him to. I say it because after 20 years of being together i know he is so laid back that he truely wont mind. And if he did mind he would say, and on that day i would run you to the hospital instead, or we would go to the cinema and take the kids.

Its shorthand. Its about knowing and loving your partner enough to be able to predict what is ok and isnt.

She could be exaggerrating his willingness to help. 'Showing off@. the reality could be very different. Maybe her way of expression isn't actual reality. :)

going possibly true. I've just shown this thread to DH who is :o at my telling off!!
This woman's DH aparently rolls eyes a lot when he talks to my DH at swimming.
DH calls her Mrs. Bouquet. :(

Now we're both vile arn't we?!!! :o

No, i don't think you are vile :)

I hope your friend asks her DH, for example, "Will you do this or that", instead of do this, do that in a needlessly aggressive tone.

I actually feel bad now because yes, I wish that too. But others are right, it's not my call.

:o

You're not vile, but you're definitely jealous!

rainbow of someone who gets someone to run around after them, doesn't ask, takes DH for granted, just assumes? No.

someone else to

You aren't being unreasonable, so much as deceitful

(pretending you don't like her because of this 'fact', whereas in fact this is a case of REVERSE CAUSALITY)

I do hope I spelt that right

feeling a bit thick... What way 'pretending not to like her' I don't understand that!

Retrocausality yes, I see that! Quite possibly isit.

If you're not jealous of this person, why does she get to you so much?

I've just said adina'sDH go and give baby adina some calpol. Is this about me?

rainbow- If you're not jealous of this person, why does she get to you so much? because every time I talk to her she is dismissive of her DH. As if his purpose is to serve.

But then... Maryz I think you could be right... :o :o !
I have just put this to DH and he is now scowling!!

adina that's awful, shame on you!! :o