to wonder how on earth you fit in after school activities

[onthebus]

So. Last night I realised I was trying to test DS on his times tables while he was in the middle of eating his dinner. This is clearly not ideal.

I am seriously thinking that I need to write work out a detailed time/motion study for each afternoon after school because I just cannot work out how you fit in after school clubs, homework, eating, getting ready for bed. Let alone every having the odd child round to play, or occasionally getting to the library. Yet evidently everyone else manages this.

DS has 4 after school clubs (though 2 are on same day and one which is only for this half term). DD has 3 after school clubs. They only have 1 activity in common (swimming lessons). however 2 of DS's clubs are at his school, straight after school so this only requires picking him up later.

I did wonder if we are doing too much, though they both enjoy everything they do and individually it doesn't seem too bad, it's just the logistics of it all that is problematic. Thought about moving swimming to the weekend though we currently keep weekends free for family time and/or visiting extended family/friends so that would be a hard jump.

On the average evening we need to fit in an after school club (sometimes 2) for 1 or other child, plus homework (around an hour for DS (Y3): reading, tables, spelling, music practice - though less for DD (Y1) who only has reading and spelling), eating a meal, getting ready for bed plus allowing some time just to chat or for the DC to play. Ideally I'd also do some housework (other than cooking) but that seems like a pipe dream.

So is there a way that avoids me collapsing in heap at 8pm and yet gets everything done? Or is that just what everyone does?

I don't do any housework though, admittedly :o

titchy I have DS on his own from 4.30-5.00. (The 4.15-4.30 is me travelling to get him). 15 minutes of this is spent cycling home (and it's all uphill) and tbh I'm not about to start doing tables while cycling after he's just finished day at school+club. We could spend the 15 minutes after he gets home (but before DD does) doing "something" but well basically I'm not committed enough to get down to spellings or tables straight after we've walked in the door and we are out of puff from cycling up the hill and still defrosting from the cold I get the sentiment of trying to use odd minutes fruitfully, but we do also need to be in the right frame of mind.

We don't have alot after school.
both DS's (5 & 8) need down time.

for us things look mostly like this

3.30/45 get home from school
snacks drinks
DS2 reading 10 minutes
DS1 homework - (reading, numeracy or literacy)
4.00 tv time
5pm MONDAYS only Football for DS1
6pm Dinner (or Thursdays Beavers for DS1 & DH so dinner is 5.30)
6.30 bath for DS1
6.50 bath for DS2
we read a story /chapter to each then they have 15 minutes personal reading time before lights off.

for us getting the boring stuff out of the way asap (after a snack) is the key. Have tried it the other way round and it just doesn't seem to work.

I agree that spelling can be done while you cook. Do you have a table in the same room? Does he have to write them out or just learn them?

I sit mine at table to do homework and do household tasks around them while they do it so I am there to ask and look over a shoulder now and again but not supervising every letter. I then test them all over the place on our travels.

As for how many activities a child does I think that is a matter which varies from family and child to family and child. My ds likes to chill, my dd likes to be out and about and sociable. We live in a rural area so she is not playing out in the street as I did as a child. It is an opportunity for her to exercise mind or body, be social, etc.

Btw none of her activities are with a view for points later in life, they are just because she enjoys them now.

We can't assume all children are wired the same way.

WibblyBibble I wish DS could do more on his own. However the school insists that the child reads aloud to an adult 5 nights a week (and the child is penalised if s/he doesn't). DS does sometimes do music practice on his own but he absolutely needs an adult to test him on tables. And as DS's spelling is dreadful and he normally gets about 50% on spelling tests this also needs a lot of adult input. (I do leave DD to do her own spellings more).

I'd like to cut some activities but what? Swimming is a must IMO (their schools don't do any swimming at all) then they both do 2 more activities that they absolutely love (and which I can see benefit them as well). DS's 4th activity is only for 5 weeks and, again, was something he had a particular interest in (though I would have asked him to think about dropping something else if it was longer term).

If they enjoy everything then I don't think you need to drop anything. Swimming is really important IMO as it restricts your life quite considerably if you can't swim and it is definitely easier to learn as a child than an adult. It is also good exercise which, especially in the Winter months, is a good thing.

Many things are hard to learn as an adult but if you build the skills as a child, when your brain is open to it, then they can provide huge pleasure for you as an adult. eg playing a musical instrument.

Some activities are just good fun though and that is good enough for me.

I agree with carrotsandcelery - I think it depends on the child. Some would love this kind of timetable, others wouldn't.

OP, I think your Wednesday timetable is OK as long as this is your busiest day, but not OK for every day. Some posters have suggested limiting the number of activities per child; personally I prefer to look at the week as a whole. My DS1 does 4 activities and DD does 3, but because swimming is on Sat and their other activities are on the same days, we still end up with 2 days with no activities for anyone. On these nights they can have a friend to play, catch up on homework or just chill out. Having different activities for different children on the same night requires a different kind of organisation (sharing lifts etc), but it sounds like the OP already does that kind of thing.

It's brilliant that your DS cycles to school, but maybe worth bearing in mind that this is really another activity (in terms of both tiring him out and taking up time in your day).

Only 1 afterschool activity (kung fu) per week for us - it's all me and DS can cope with!! DS just wants to come home and chill and to be honest after a day at work, thats all I want too!

It just takes a lot of organisation and energy I think. My DS(7) loves to be out doing things on an evening and weekend. It started with one hour of gym class per week which was easy to cope with but then when they really get into something it just sort of snowballs! Now I'm up to 6 hours of sitting around during gym practice, 1.5 hours during dance lessons and an hour of judo - I get to read a LOT of books! DD has just turned 4 and is wanting to do everything too - I think it might just finish me off!

Last term I really wanted him to cut back some of it but when I talked to him he clearly loves all of it and since we encouraged him in the first place it seems to be a bit mean to make him drop things. We do reading, spellings and tables in the car on he way to gym. We eat quickly...

I just don't bother. It took me till my fourth child to work out not bothering was the way to go - DC4 has one club on a Monday and that's it. He does other stuff at the weekends - but the whole afterschool insanity is crazy. Kids need time to switch off, to be a bit bored, to flop and relax.

DD (8) has after school (at school) activities every day except Fridays (hockey, netball, art, matches). She gets picked up at 4.45pm each day unless the match is away when we either pick her up from the match or wait for her to get back to school.

We then fit in doing the horses - including riding in Summer - before homework. She usually eats her tea whilst watching TV and then bath at 7.30 and bed at 8.

We've ditched swimming in the evenings though and Pony Club in the Winter- something had to give.

Surely most children will enjoy most after-school activities if given the opportunites to do them. My parents allowed me just swimming and Brownies when I was at primary school even though I asked begged for ballet too. They were firm that homework was the priority and the rest of the time not at school or at swimming/Brownies was play/relaxed time. I just accepted that and enjoyed my life. I restrict my DC's activities and have no problem with it. She's happy.

I think a later bedtime might buy you a bit more evening time, especially as they don't want to give up any of their activities. I have to say I far prefer it now my DS has dropped from 3 activities to 2. I think time to just flop is so important and is often lacking in our busy, hectic lives.

My DD is also in year 3, she does competitive gymnastics (12 hours a week) so we've had to learn to juggle things .

We have gym three days a week after school, and one day at the weekend. Thankfully, gym is every other day - so on those days we do minimal homework (gym sessions are now 3 hours long). DD has an ipod, and there are actually apps for spelling tests and multiplication tables - so they tend to get done in the car. Reading is done in bed, as a wind down activity.

The two nights that she's not at gym are more relaxed, and that's the time that we do more homework / playing etc..

Sundays are sacrosanct - she spends the day playing and nothing else.

On gym days, food is often eaten in the car on the way home from gym - or at the gym before she goes in to train.

Playdates don't happen much, but DD knew that was part of the deal when she decided she wanted to do more hours.

Swimming lessons no longer happen weekly. She can swim. She has lessons at school, and we often do weekly intensives during the school holidays (not half terms, but I'll try and get them to do one in the easter break and two weeks over the summer break).

Family have to fit in with us .

Well it is a bit of a nightmare but doable - especially if your DH is getting home and helping at 6.

We have 4 DCs - 3 at school (although 1 in reception so only has reading and words to learn). Eldest does 1/2 hr of music practice every day, next one probably about 20 mins. I have given up listening to the eldest read (he's 8) as he doesn't need it. Everything else needs supervising and unfortunately my DH doesn't get in till after bed time. However, I feel a bit like a Sergeant Major from 3pm to 9pm when it's finally lights out and I try and deal with the chaos!

Swimming is a killer - we have it on a school night but it's certainly not ideal.

I think it's really hard keeping the balance, especially with more than one DC because you end up dragging the younger ones around everywhere. Maybe if you sit them down and have a chat - tell them that if they want to do the activities they need to make sure they can keep up with all the other stuff they need to do?

Good luck!