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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

How to be a good mother with Sharon Horgan

59 replies

pigletmania · 12/01/2012 10:52

Did anyone watch that. It was really interesting, but I can't help how other mothers are being judgemental regarding other mums parenting decisions. There was one on there who was a strong advocate for a natural birth, and kind of blamed her own mother's cesarean for not being close to her . Surely there are different factors why she is not close to her mum, not necessarily the cesarean. It was her own theory, I don't believe she had any research to support her claims.

At the end of the day, you do what you feel is right, nobody gets it perfect, I can't believe how harsh we are on each other.

OP posts:

NinkyNonker · 12/01/2012 12:20

I have a friend who did the elimination communication thing, really worked for them. Her Ds was dry by 10 months odd.

valiumredhead · 12/01/2012 12:24

I watched it and was just about to lamp the presenter by the end of it! Dear God, she was SO sneery!!

mrsjay · 12/01/2012 12:25

ninky the mum on the programe didnt say or i didnt hear do they do the EC thing from birth ? DO they pick them up at night and put them on a potty from birth , it seems really intense Im just interesed in how they manage to do it all the time .

CheshireDing · 12/01/2012 12:29

I wonder about the potty thing too? If Ninky's friends baby was dry at 10 months I thought you didn't start potty training until they were about 2 years old. Can someone enlighten me? I liked the idea of the potty thing in terms of the noises - not the permanent naked baby wondering around.

I felt very inferior after the super slim mum of nearly 7 had been on. I need to pull my finger out and get on and do stuff!

guinealady · 12/01/2012 12:37

I found the EC lady on Twitter - she said the programme had been edited to take that bit out, yes of course she had used nappies pre-potty training (but not disposables, of course!).

At first I was a bit repelled by her and the idea of a child running round the house naked from the waist down, but when they showed her running the EC support group I began to see what the point of it was and respect her a lot more - the idea of reading children's body language and facial expressions to work out what they want seems very common sense to me.

I would never imagine I'd go for a full-on EC approach but I did think there was a lot to learn from her.

The mum of 6, soon to be 7, was very impressive but a bit terrifying! And I would like to have known if she planned to send her children to school when they were older, e.g. in time to sit GCSEs? They seemed to have a good learning environment for the small children but I would imagine the older girl would be straining at the leash for a bit more independence at some point...

valiumredhead · 12/01/2012 12:39

I know someone who did EC and she spent a LOT of time mopping up little puddles I think it's a bit too intense for me personally but I can see why people do it.

I was VERY interested in the placenta eating!

MrsHeffley · 12/01/2012 12:40

I didn't watch it thank god because the title hacked me off.I'm sick of this 'good mother' thing.We're all different physically,mentally,life experience,personality etc.We all have completely different babies/children.

I firmly believe being a mother is a very complex thing like fingerprints you just can't/shouldn't get 2 mums the same,what works for one mum/child will not work for the next.We need to be different and shouldn't compare anything as long as our kids are fed,watered and happy.We should rejoice in how we do things our own way.

No program or woman is going to lecture to me thanks, me and my kids do it our way.It's taken me 8 years to celebrate this and ignore all the shit in the media this generation of mums are subjected to.

NinkyNonker · 12/01/2012 12:53

I'm not sure how it worked to be honest, I know she would put a nappy on him to go out, but would take him to the loo first, at which point he would do a wee. Likewise she takes him to the loo at bedtime etc. She isn't British, and said that she finds the British way of having babies who are practically toddlers still wearing nappies really odd...where she comes from her way is the norm instead of 'training' a baby to go in nappies then having to reverse the process.

Oggy · 12/01/2012 13:14

Cultural differences are interesting. I had a spanish friend who had just had a baby about teh same time I had my first. She used to put him to bed at about 10:00 and of course he would sleep in until about 10:00 the next morning as you would expect.

My friend always used to get confused by all the complaints from women that their baby was getting them up so early when they were putting them to bed so early, what did they expect.

She had a fair point, my reasons were pure selfishness, I wanted to put my baby to bed at 7 so I could have my evening and unwind.

NadiaWadia · 12/01/2012 14:03

valiumredhead, i agree the presenter did NOT come across well, she was really obviously sneery (and quite narrow-minded). Surprised some of the women featured didn't throw her out of their houses.

I don't know how she is as an actress but she's lousy at presenting, hope Channel 4 don't give her any more work. Perhaps she should study Louis Theroux's documentaries. He meets people with wacky views and lifestyles but is always polite and lovely to them. That way he gets much more entertainment value out of them! And he doesn't seem to feel the need to pull faces at the camera, unlike Sharon Horgan.

MixedBerries · 12/01/2012 14:04

I agree Valium and Nadia, I didn't like Sharon either.

mrsjay · 12/01/2012 14:08

ninky and valium i remember my mum said when i was potty training mine that when she did it many man MANY moons ago babies were sat on potties for a try as soon as they could sit unaided so i dont think its a new fangled hippy thing my mum was horrified that my dds were gone 2 before they used the toilet so i suppose it makes sense to start early ,

valiumredhead · 12/01/2012 14:09

mrsj yeah my mum says the same, sat on the pot with a book after every meal, just to see if anything happens.

Original poster

pigletmania · 12/01/2012 14:38

Thats right, of course its fine to have your plans for an ideal birth, but you also have to be open to the fact that anything can happen and that it might not always go to plan, there is a duty of care by the HCP towards mother and baby and that may or may not be to do a c section. Yes the EC lady I felt to be quite judgy and admire her determination and dedication, but it would not be for me. I was also amazed by the home schooler mother, good on her, she looked like she was doing so well and also,she looked fantastic, though it would not work for us, it does some.

OP posts:

shagmundfreud · 12/01/2012 14:44

I think everything which happens to you has some impact on you, including the events surrounding birth.

Which is why we should treat it with respect and care.

Luckily babies are resilient and adaptable, and mother love is overwhelming, so that the things which impact negatively on early bonding are generally imperceptible.

NinkyNonker · 12/01/2012 15:50

We've got dd sitting on her potty every time we go for a wee, she doesn't know what to do yet though she understands that going for a wee means the potty, which is a start!

valiumredhead · 12/01/2012 17:04

I am SURE one of the home school lady's kids was called Shiteria! Good job she is home schooled

M0naLisa · 12/01/2012 17:41

I think the EC was abit

i mean come on...

I remember once on another forum a women claimed she used EC with her son, she was also american and didnt agree with nappies, then one day she posted a son of her son using EC......with a pack of Pampers in the background

cantgetlaidingermany · 13/01/2012 11:58

I don't see how having a child potty trained by 10 months or whatever age makes you a good mother. Bizarre thinking, in my everyday life you see mums boasting about how early there kids are trained, so fucking what when did it become such a competition?

SianOxford · 16/01/2012 19:06

I have just watched how to be a good mother on channel 4D it's on there for the next 3 weeks, I thought it was really interesting. Some were different to say the least.
But I thought the home schooler was an inspiration, Her children's name are on the tv guide techar, chartel, charmer, cherry, telcee, chantee No Shiteria!

I thought she was amazing, and i would love her belly, mines a mess after 1 child. but that's my opinion, they all must have been brave to go on there. X

JuliaScurr · 16/01/2012 19:20

Kayano Love how you talk as if she was already your mum even though you hadn't met yet (iyswim)

SingingSands · 16/01/2012 19:23

I saw it advertised and turned to DH and said "start by NOT watching programmes like that".

Kayano · 16/01/2012 19:44

Julia she was.

She was MY mum. I'm actually chilling at her house now watching top chef while DH is away.

JuliaScurr · 16/01/2012 19:49

That's lovely. My Dad and my cousin were adopted and both feel the same.

GirlWithPointyShoes · 16/01/2012 19:52

I turned it off five minutes in. Sharon Horgan made me feel ill.

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