Kids in the bath whilst the hot tap is running?!

[BenniD]

My DH loves to give our kids (1 and 3) a bath in the evening, and the kids seem to love it too - not to mention it gives me 5 minutes peace! Tonight he was not feeling great so I came up with him to bath them and found out that he makes a habit of running the bath whilst they are in it, including having the hot tap on. I was not happy at all, but he said that he did it all the time and was in complete control of the situation. I don't want to take away the fun time they all seem to have during bath time, but am really not happy with him doing this. Advice please!

I top up with the hot tap if needed while they are in, I just shepherd them up to the far end while I mix it in.

Presumably they're supervised by him so I'm sure he keeps them away from it?

He should run it first and then check it ideally before putting kids in. But as long as he's careful DCs out of way I wouldn't worry too much.

Well sounds
Like he has it under control?

If he was right by the tap with them safely herded up the other end then I would think it's ok, but if he's sat on the floor or preoccupied doing something else like havin a pee then no it's not safe, a babies skin would burn and blister in a second

I do this, they are away from the taps....well now ds adjusts the temp for them as he is eight, and his sister 2 currently refuses to have a bath without him (arrrrrgh toddlers emoticon)

They should be away from the taps at all times, so if he is monitoring it and telling them HOT your dh is nbu.

I think this is a minor issue not worth making a fuss over. If the worst happened and one of the children touched the hot tap the consequences would really be not that disastrous. You have to pick your battles with everyone, not just children, and this one isn't worth fighting.

Not a good idea.

I have seen far far far too many children with really nasty burns from a domestic hot water supply. Doing it even, with direct parental supervision, sets a bad precedent IMO.

On a related note - New build houses have a legal requirement to have a thermostatic mixing valve built into the water supply to the bath limiting water to 48 degrees. Older houses don't I would strenuously advise anyone who is having work done on their bathroom to contemplate fitting one. They aren't expensive and could save a child or vulnerable adult a really nasty injury.

All of the families I've seen whose children have suffered injuries have bitterly regretted not having one.

Unless its a mixer with very reliable temp controls I wouldn't. Does depend a bit how hot your hot is - ours can be scalding. If DD wanted a topup, I'd run it into a jug over the sink and pour it where she isn't.

YABU - if he says he is in control then believe him. My DH drives me mad sometimes suggesting things I am doing are unsafe when they aren't as I supervise carefully etc.

alarkaspree I think the worst that can happen is not touching the hot tap but actually getting scalded by boiling hot water being run into the bath.

But I cant see a problem if the dc are at the other end of the bath and they are being closely supervised. I do this with my 1 and 4 year old occaisionally.

"...I don't want to take away all the funtime..."
Erm, no, you don't get to. He's their dad, it's not for you 'allow' him to bath them or not. You sound like a total control freak to be honest. Surely he is making sure they don't get burnt? Do you micro-manage his parenting in other areas?

If you leave him to bath them then you have to leave him to do it his way. Nothing will reduce his interest faster than back-seat parenting.

It depends on the children I think - my 1 and 3 year olds wouldn't be able to sit still at the other end of the bath, they'd be splashing about from the start, and would risk burning themselves on the hot water as it came out of the tap (depends on how big your bath is though, and whether you have separate taps)
Surely it's not necessary as you can just run the bath before they get in?!

Agree with abbier and whatmademeeorry

We have our hot water temperature turned down to below scalding level (it was the one real piece of advice I took away from post-natal classes with DS six and a half years ago).

Either you trust your DH or you don't. That's for you to decide.

Oh, I'm sorry, I thought this was AIBU but I seem to have wandered onto "come character assassinate me on the basis of very little information."

She's a control freak because she's unsure about what the DH is doing but doesn't want to make an issue of it? Jeez, you don't even know the woman.

The DH isn't just parenting, he's co-parenting with her and they should be able to discuss what they consider to be safe/ok and what they don't.

OP-do you mean that he runs the bath whilst they are i it or tops it up?

TBH, I never did either.

Water too cold=time to get out!

Shoulda, she's not discussing it, she's talking about 'taking away the fun'. Her own words. I think that's a worrying attitude.

Yes he runs the bath, not tops up. We don't have a mixer tap.

Surely that's just a turn of phrase? Like, turning it into a drag by nagging about it.

Or do you have visions of her storming into the bathroom at bathtime and pulling the plug while going "mwahahaha!" ?

She said she didn't want to take away the fun though-wouldn't a control freak have just done that straight away?