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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed off?

21 replies

sozzledchops · 11/01/2012 13:47

I have a 9 yr old who is upset and feeling hard done by as he assures me that all his friends now have FB accounts where they chat and are allowed to play the cool games like Call Of Duty and Assassin's Creed. I'm fed up trying to explain why he can't have these things, he just feels left out and that we are big meanies, there have been tears over this. AIBU to be pissed off that I'm having to deal with this, why do I feel like I'm swimming against the tide and wasting my time and energies? AIB unrealistic, it's obvious that many parents see no problem with these things. Just wish this was one more thing we didn't have to fight/ deal with.

OP posts:
OffDownTheGardenToEatWorms · 11/01/2012 13:51

firstly YANBU

secondly, tell him this is not going to happen for him, never, no matter how many times he asks and nags and complains the answer is still NO. And the reason? because you love him and care for him and you know it's not right for a 9 year old to be doing this. and you question whether his friends' parents actually care about them Wink

FrillyMilly · 11/01/2012 13:51

Do all his friends really have these things though? Isn't this something that all kids do. I remember saying to my parents about how unfair everything was and how everyone else had everything/was allowed to do everything I wasn't.

ClaraSage · 11/01/2012 13:53

My year 6 son wants an fb account but I've said no to it. I will let him when he 's at secondary school. Some of his friends have one , but not many.

OlympicEater · 11/01/2012 13:56

YANBU but my DCs are always claiming that their friends are allowed to do such and such and "its so not fair"

drivinmecrazy · 11/01/2012 13:57

I have had friends requests from several of DDs friends (yr6) and am horrified and obviously rejected all of them. luckily DD doesn't want an account (or so she says) but I do find myself feeling slightly mean when many of her friends obviously do have accounts. I was always under the impression there was an age limit to FB accounts (13 I thought???). How do kids get these accounts unless their parents are aware?

Original poster
sozzledchops · 11/01/2012 14:09

Quite a few do have the games and accounts and I know they come from loving parents/homes so he's not just making it up like the 'everyone has chocolate for their snack at break'. I'm sure I do plenty that other parents would disagree with but just wish this was one issue we could all stand together a bit more on. The kids that don't have these things are feeling left out and geeky, Billy no mates. He's getting really upset about it and withholding his usual affection a little. Just a taste of things. To come I suppose Sad.

OP posts:
imoanruby · 11/01/2012 17:30

YANBU, he is too young!

There is a minimum age limit on FB for a reason, it is not for children.

I would question if the parents involved are aware of some of the inappropriate stuff you can find on FB.

lazarusb · 11/01/2012 19:34

My ds (8) went to a friend's house for tea. I asked her to make sure he didn't play any games with graphic violence. She assured me he wouldn't. They played Call of Duty. Fuming was NOT the word.

DD is 11 and, while several of her friends and even her younger cousins, have FB accounts, I won't let her have one. I just think it's so unnecessary for one thing, let alone it being one more thing to police!

LowRegNumber · 11/01/2012 20:22

My friends dd (11) found a thing in fb where, for one hour a day, you get to play a game and if you win you can ask the other players to show pics of any part of their body... Banning fb is, sadly, a lot more than an educated choice. Imo it is an absolute. (police have been informed obviously)

WorraLiberty · 11/01/2012 20:27

This has been a problem since time began OP

It has nothing to do with Facebook as such...that just happens to be the 'thing' now.

Kids always think other kids have more freedom and can never quite get past the "it's not fair" stage, until they become parents themselves usually.

Purpleroses · 11/01/2012 22:01

They're supposed to be 13 to have Facebook accounts. Some do have them younger, but you could try that by way of answer? Are there any games he thinks are cool that you are happy with?

FabbyChic · 11/01/2012 22:05

Ive two boys 23 and 18, I've never gone by minimum age limits on anything throughout their lives, for me it's about parents discretion and how old your child is emotionally, not by birth years.

It's never done my kids any harm and they are well adjusted, well mannered and lovely boys to all. No one has ever said a bad word about them ever.

cory · 11/01/2012 22:08

I didn't have to say no to 10yo ds re Facebook account: his teenage sister got in first and told him in no uncertain terms that he is too young. I'm sure she wouldn't let him play Call of Duty either Grin

sunshineandbooks · 11/01/2012 22:13

I don't have a problem with fairly young children having FB accounts as long as they are properly monitored (and I mean properly monitored - adult sitting next to child while using it, etc). I would have a HUGE problem with any child playing COD and Assassin's Creed, with or without 'supervision'.

nicknamenotinuse · 11/01/2012 22:17

Yanbu. I do think however that a lot of what other children say they are allowed to do or watch is in their own heads. A lot will talk a lot of crap. The reality is they are not allowed to do half the stuff they say they are.

Original poster
sozzledchops · 12/01/2012 00:57

I'm actually starting to think that it's all actually quite common as I know that some of these kids do play these games and have FB accounts so not just talk. I think the parents are just keeping quiet, especially on sites like mumsnet where only those who abstain speak out, apart from Fabby or course. would be interesting to have a proper poll on the subject where people feel free to comment truthfully.

OP posts:
lazarusb · 12/01/2012 12:53

I agree with Fabby re:maturity etc to an extent. But that goes for parents too - when I asked my friend she said they'd been playing COD but she didn't think it was that graphic! Hmm Ds won't be going round there again.

Almostfifty · 12/01/2012 13:01

I remember being absolutely furious when I found out my older boys were watching South Park at a friend's house. They were less than ten at the time. The Father thought it was just another cartoon. Beggars belief.

Is Bebo still an option? It's more for younger children. Mine had FB accounts when they were around 12, but I had their passwords and checked them regularly.

There was also an online game which was much more suitable for children, but I can't remember it's name at the moment. Involved making things and getting stuff to make things etc. Much better for that age than COD etc.

Purpleroses · 12/01/2012 13:46

Almostfifty - do you mean Minecraft maybe? My DS(11) and DP's DS (9) both love it - seems to be very activite, but also quite creative and not really violent.

Purpleroses · 12/01/2012 13:47

addictive not activite...my typing is rubbish

Almostfifty · 12/01/2012 13:53

It's Runescape. I've just asked my eldest. Apparently, you can kill people in it, but only by thumping them. Not much graphic stuff. :)

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