To be bloody annoyed with DH?

[Imnotaslimjim]

He told me yesterday that he was pulled last week for talking to his boss on his mobile while driving. I'm annoyed enough at that, but to top it off, he needed to have paid the fine and sent his licence in by today but apparently "he can't find it"

As far as I know, he hasn't even looked for it. He knew the old one was in the safe, but doesn't know where the new one is (had to update his photocard licence last year and got a new paper counterpart with it)

Now, he's saying its my fault that its gone missing, that I should have "filed it" (we don't have a filing cabinet) and that I have to look for it today so he can take it to the local police station tonight

I don't even remember the licence arriving, never mind where he put it and I'm fuming that he's blaming me for him not putting it away

AIBU? Or should he start taking responsibility for his own things? Its not the first time this sort of thing has happened, or thi frist time he's left it to the last minute to find stuff, I've known him look for his passport at 2 in the morning for a 7am flight before now!

YANBU.

Yanbu - how annoying!

My DH got caught speeding and it was everyone elses fault! Mine as he was
On his way to post office for me , farmers because he was trying to overtake a tractor

He actually got laughed at and I told everyone of his ludicrous blame game. It's never happened again!

YANBU.

The annoyance should be totaly the other way round. You are the one who is going to have to deal with there being less money around because of his stupidity, and then his lack of organisation. He probably knows that really, so he's getting in first because he feels like the idiot he has been.

Oh dear, I do stuff like that. YANBU, but I do sympathise with him.

so glad you lot agree with me!

I think I might go shopping and just not have time to look for it. Or is that really too mean? I need him to understand the consequences of his actions and that other people won't always sort it out for him.

Iusetoomuchkitchenroll I thin kyou're right with that one. I wentr a bit mad at him yesterday when he told me, I'm convinced he wasn't going to say anything til he couldn't find the licence. I am so, so cross with him for not telling me. If I'd known, I'd have had more time to help him sort it out. But now I'm going to be rushing round all day looking for it grrrr

YANBU

YANBU I wouldn't look for it. The only way he's going to learn is if he has to deal with the consequences.

Are you his Mum and is he five years old? No?...then he is responsible for his own behaviour and care of his essntial documents.

He is clearly frustrated at himself and the escalating situation is making this worse, making it very tempting for him to seek a simple explanation / way out that makes everything ok again and puts him back in control.

He needs to see this one through, so he faces the potential seriousness of the situation and recognises a need to change his behaviour generally (being more organised, responsible and safe) rather than swerving it then instantly forgetting - which is what will happen if you help him.

Think I'm going to stay strong and not look for it. I've the perfect reason - a dodgy leg means I can't stand for long at the moment so its not like I can search through cupboards/drawers etc!

lottiegb that is exactly what I'm thinking. I'm fed up of it always being my fault. He never takes responsibilty and he's always losing things

What happens if he doesn't send it off today? Is he fined again or get more points or something?

I would look for it and when I found it, I wouldn't tell him where it is. Then I would say to him that it is not my responsibility to think for him and organise his whole bloody life and he can get his sorry arse home and look for his own bloody licence.

Then I would sit back and watch him tear around like a blue arse fly trying to locate it before the deadline. I would look for it myself, for my own peace of mind, so if it came to half an hour before the deadline, I would bail him out. I would only be bailing him out because of the potential impact on me if there is a huge fine.

I get really cross with people who blame others for their own fuck ups.

Totem the fine is doubled if he doesn't pay it by midnight tonight

Karmathat is similar to what I was thinking of doing, but the be honest I can't even be arsed doing that. I probably will have a look for it alter (I know what I'm like!) but I so don't want to, I want him to learn that life has consequences!

He needs to get himself organised! These are his personal documents, and they are his responsibility. If you don't remember even seeing the new counterpart licence then it's up to him, and he needs to look for it when he gets home from work.

If it can't be found he can apply online or by phone. I'd recommend by phone as he can tell them he needs it urgently to present to the police, and may be able to collect it. It costs about £20 whether you have lost one or both parts of the licence:
www.direct.gov.uk/en/Motoring/DriverLicensing/NeedANewOrUpdatedLicence/DG_4022085

He also needs to speak to the police and tell them he is doing that. It's unlikely he would face further action because of his idiocy.

Thanks for the link olgaga I've just spoken to him and told him I can't find it (haven't even looked) and he said he's phoned and they've given him an extension, so its ok on that front. Shame he already knew to do that, I wasn't going to tell him!! I've also told him we need to get a filing cabinet of some description as i'm fed up of this happening. I've got all the bills and things (house insurance etc) all sorted in one folder, and if he'd given me the licence it would probably be in there!