to think his new FB photo ^means^ something? (sigh...probably am)

[Youstalktoomuch]

Just broke up with a bloke after a VERY stormy off and on again 2 yrs. Didn't end well and I defriended him that night.

Masochistic lass that I am, I checked his FB page a few weeks later, I don't know why and I see that he has posted a new pic--one that I took! This may seem like nothing, but
1 He hadn't changed his pic once since he joined 3 yrs ago (he said) as he's rarely on.
2 He has modeled some since uni, and he has TONS of professional pics, some in really nice locations.

1. The one I took was in a slightly shabby Eastern European town where we traveled for a friend's wedding. Not a pro shot by any means, and being that beers in that town were a quid a piece, we both were a little...er, puffy that week.

My question is, why that pic, one of the few I've ever taken of him (alone)? Does that mean he misses me? Does that mean he knows I'll look at his FB and this is his way of getting at me?

Or am I a pathetic moo who needs to stay off ex's page and take up yoga again? Give it to me straight, MN'ers, I can take it.

Block him so you can't see what he's doing!

Hmm, good idea, Giserable. Of course, then I won't be able to see what he's doing.

I think there's a post-breakup period where it's normal to be preoccupied with what the ex is doing, what things mean/meant, etc, but I think you need to focus on whether you want this breakup to stick or not. If the relationship was on/off for years, are you hoping this is just another off period? or are you committed to moving forward without him? If the latter, I find going cold turkey works best for me. No contact whatsoever, no FB stalking, no asking mutual friends how he is or listening to them if they bring it up, etc. Rip the bandaid off, deal with the pain and do your best not to look back - at least for several months, when you might have a clearer head and be less likely to fall back into a relationship that you might shouldn't. Yoga sounds much more sensible, but FB obsessing is probably what I'd choose, if I'm being honest. But I'd feel better about myself if I went the cold turkey route!

I did exactly the same as you, it's like picking a sore

The thing to do is block him, but it'll be hard for you to actually make that final break.

Do you think that, maybe he's likes 'regular' photo's of himself, rather than the professional, beautifully manufactured shots that he has had through work? And this is the reason he's used it?

I used to micro analyse the moves of an exBf; would read things into the situation that weren't really there. It's a part of the break up process, and extremely tough part of the break up process as far as I'm concerned, and the likes of twitter and fb and blogs etc make it that much harder to walk away.

IF he misses you, he'll find you. But you need to make a clean break, and that means cutting all access.

Good luck.

I think your reading far too much into it but I would do exactly the same in your shoes. If he wants to talk or something he will get in touch. Try not to torment yourslef too much.

I'm really sorry but 3. The girl he just met LOVES that picture of him and that's why he changed it. My point is that it could be anything. Get back into yoga and move on. In five years you can look back and sigh but now it isn't healthy.

Actually, he likes his professional pics and even poked fun of the photo's backdrop when he first saw it.

I know, I need to stop overthinking and block him and get on with it. Think we both knew/know there's no future.

Thank you for your advice, ladies. I guess it's just hard at first.

you have my sympathy, i think you're feelings are totally understandable, but you're reading too much into it. Men aren't that deep. The only thing it means is that if he's finally changed his pic, he's having a bit of a fresh start. Sorry. :(

No contact. It's the only way.

Once you're properly over him, you can squizz at his FB page all you want. Of course, then you won't even be bothered to.

You're reading way too much into it. If he wanted you back, he'd ask. Read "He's Just Not That Into You".

I've read it, Subordinate. And I broke up with him.

Regardless of whether he is sending you a signal it is not part of a healthy way to conduct a relationship. Adults would just pick up the phone and talk.

Stormy on and off sounds er exciting...... but draining ....and not happy. Do you like the highs and lows? I'd try and wean yourself off this type of relationship and go for a normal one.

I agree with ToothbrushThief.

You know him much better than any of us - you were with him for two years, even if on/off. It might be a signal, it might not, but the main thing is you weren't in a healthy relationship and you need to focus on that, not what message he might or might not be trying to send you now you've done the right thing and put an end to it.

Things were said on both ends that sort of preclude a reconciliation, not that I'd want one.

I do like the highs, Toothbrush, the lows not so much. Not to make excuses, but I come from a long line of married family where no one divorces, no one fights, no one cheats...and no one's happy. I'm sure there's a middle ground. I just wish I knew what it looked like.

You are an addict of an adrenaline high relationship. Go cold turkey and give yourself space to think things through about all relationships ...otherwise you'll be the wife hiding the fighting cheating husband and not divorcing him. It's not a good place to be

Doesn't mean anything.

using professional photos on facebook would be a bit poncy, so he's probably just used yours cause it's more natural. and if it's taken somewhere abroad then it makes him look like an interesting person...

He's always had practically half his portfolio on there...guess that is a bit poncy.

An ex of mine has a photo I took of him as his fb photo and we split up 5 years ago. I don't think he wants me back, I think he just likes the picture.

I was in an on and off for years, I do know how you feel. Delete his number, block him on fb and find someone who you can be on all the time with.

He probably does miss you, a stormy relationship can be an intense one right? And passionate! If its not good for either of you though, you really have to sadly walk away, in real life and on FB!

You're torturing yourself.

I still miss a boyfriend I had years ago, although all we did was fight (when we weren't having amazing sex lol) it would have drained me, it turned us into people we didn't much like. I wish him well. Its a damn shame in many ways, but it wasn't good.

So yeh, he probably misses you, the intensity of your connection, maybe even wishes things could have been different. Like you maybe? There's probably nothing more to read into it than that. Its with a heavy heart we make the right decisions sometimes.

I suppose as well there's something very attractive about passion and instability especially if like you say, everyone in your family is stable, and not particularly happy.

There is a balance. You now know you need more than that dreary set up, but maybe you need less than constantly stormy seas? Good luck with moving forward, he's part of your history and that is okay you know.

Its with a heavy heart we make the right decisions sometimes.

Aye. He's been blocked.

Maybe some other woman reminded him that having a professional picture as your profile picture makes you look like a twat (this applies to men and women).

Yabu. I have used profile pics that have ended up on my page through tagging. I have no idea who took them, it could have been a number of people. I really don't remember.

I'm sure he has missed you, but that is because you were together for two years and it's always difficult at the time of a break up. I don't think you can read anything into the fact that he used a picture you took.

Word for word what aldiwhore said.

at Only. He actually showed me his entire portfolio on the first date. I thought it was sweet at the time...