to have a nice life but still feel deep disatisfaction?

[BlueIvy]

What do you do for fun, but in a deeper, more fulfilling way? I dont mean going to the pub or going on holiday etc - I mean, what do you loom forward to? What are you passionate about?

I am very bored of myself.

I have a lovely husband, decent house, two great kids, paid work and some good friends.

Yes, life has its ups and downs. Family problems (extended), illness (me), money worries (almost sorted now) and DS has behavioural difficulties, which can be very wearing.

Bt nothing is really wrong with my life, I am just deeply bored.

I spend a lot of time on my computer, on MN or just surfing aimlessly. I don't feel like reading any more (used to be an avid reader, but just cannot seem to settle down into a book these days) I don't seem to have any interests...

Its easy to say 'join a club', but when do I have the time? I work , come home, get kids sorted, eat myself, am lucky if I squeeze in a bath or a bit of exercise...then start all over again, preparing for the next busy day.

I have toyed with the idea of writing (used to be a journalist), but never seem to have the space or mental quiet to really get stuck in.

What do other people do? For fun? For fulfillment?

I can see I am coming across like a bit of a twat here...I;'m not complaining and not unhappy...just profoundly bored.

Redrubyshoes rev road is uncomfortable reading. it cuts right to the heart of the human condition, particularly suburban discontentment

Ah, but then I might lose the buzz, Pointy.

I do think, OP, that I would feel very differently about my life if I didn't have this secret passion. Just start small, if writing's the thing. I used to write an opening scene over and over again, then it was a short, short story and so on. I'm sure it's the same with learning an instrument or making something. Just completing it or getting to the next stage gives you a thrill and sense of achievement

Yes pointythings

i used to suffer from depression but now i am content. took a lot of soul searching though

Woah, there's more of us. Does fantasy float your boat, BlueIvy? I wonder if we were writing the next ManBooker, we'd be keeping it a secret . . .

Eyeofthestorm have you tried to publish?

Can I suggest volunteer work? I am a guider with Guides and it only takes up 1.5-2hrs once per week term time only until you get hooked and spend the summer holidays camping with them and all you need is some imagination and enthusiasm!

The kids really help me get out of myself and my life they are funny, inquisitive, enthusiastic and most of the time nice I feel the age group (10-14) works for me because they are a bit more independent but the little ones can be good fun too.

Can you tell I've just got home from there? They were so excited to tell me about their Xmas. I bluddy love them sometimes, it's not for everyone though.

Nope - it's something I do just for me because thinking about it and actually doing it makes me happy.

Fair enough, EyeoftheStorm.

boglach I think I found contentment when I stopped thinking that I should be doing X, Y and Z (that is - moving up the career ladder, earning £x by age 40) and started asking myself why I wanted those things. There wasn't a good answer, so obviously those wants weren't that important after all.

I haven't tried to publish either - there's so much work involved trying to get your stuff tidy, with all the howlers removed. I honestly think my stuff is as good as a lot of what's out there, but if the choice is between editing existing work to seek publication and writing the next story that is screaming to get out, the choice is easy.

OP I think you are me!

We just bought DS a trampoline though and 20mins on there today cheered me right up.

To those of you who write for fun: do you write using pen and paper? Or on computer or on laptop or other?

Have you had anyone read them?

I have an idea of a series of 6 childrens books. Not really for publishing, just for me and family.

But I would be nervous as I have no training or knowledge in the skill of writing.

Is it as simple as having a beginning, middle and an end?

Someone posted on a thread before Christmas that some research had been done into what made people happy. These are the ones I can remember:

1. religion
2. being outside in nature regularly
3. physical exercise
4. doing something small every day that you really enjoy, like reading a book, or having a quiet bath

Could you go cold turkey on the Internet in the evening for three weeks and see if you develop habits that you find more fulfilling instead?

Can you start taking half a day at the weekend entirely to yourself (go and sit in a cafe and read or write, etc), and then look after the kids yourself while your DH takes half a day?

I was going to suggest volunteering too, and not all volunteering is stuff that you have to commit to regularly every week. If you have writing/media skills here are loads of things you can do on a more random basis (maybe online even) that would still be very fulfilling and interesting. My job is all about getting people to volunteer, so feel free to message me if you want suggestions!

Someone said being absorbed ... so true. I draw, and an hour can vanish in an instant. I did used to write but spoiled it for myself when I tried to publish (admittedly not very hard) and got nowhere, but it was the same kind of thing. Definitely fresh air and exercise too!

I am content but often find my life lacks excitement. I discovered a new passion about 5 years ago. You will probably laugh but it was James Blunt I love his music and him and he makes me feel young again if that makes sense. Being in the front row of his concerts has been a big high for me.
Think a lot of people get this sense of dissatisfaction midlife and its why they some have affairs. I fell in love with a pop star instead.

Yes Live music (even if it is James Blunt ) can bring that kind of excitement and glee that we only used to feel as children

It sounds to me OP like you've lost your sense of fun, and the best advice on here so far has been to jump on the trampoline

Remember what you did when you were younger that filled you with fun- and do it again

Look at your local further education colleges and universities and see what evening classes they are running. Many of them do loads of stuff that would interest me, and I'm sure would interest you as well.

Just sign up for something, even if it's just two hours a week for six weeks and see where it takes you. I have recently finished one and I really enjoyed it. If I were rich I would spend l pads of time just doing little short courses here and there for fun.

A writer is a person who writes.
That means you need to make up your mind to do it, sit down and write.
It doesn't have to be deathless prose, and it's fatal to wait for inspiration before you start.
15 minutes a day is plenty to begin with.

OP, you could have been me a while back. And I'm another one who took up fantasy writing. I read a lot of swords-and-sorcery type books and have always felt a bit let down by the amount of smut that they tend to have (ie not very much, except for George RR Martin, where the smut is all bad and wrong). So I'm in the middle of writing a swashbuckling novel with heroes and villains and wizards and gods and inter-dimensional travel and elves and oracles and shagging and it's one of the most fun things I've ever done. And there's nothing like writing a deeply erotic sex scene in front of the fire to banish the winter demons (oooh, demons...I'm going to put some demons in).

Those of you who write and wanted to be published - have you looked into self-publishing through a print-on-demand service like Amazon's CreateSpace? You effectively produce a book for the cost of printing + shipping, you pay per copy. From what I understand, it's quite affordable (it was about £7 per copy for the idea I am costing currently) even if you just wanted to have a copy of the book you have written, and are not bothered if other people want to buy it or not.

I taught myself to knit last year, this year its teaching myself guitar. Learning new creative skills is both rewarding and absorbing.

Exercise keeps me happy. I am useless and just relaxing or just having downtime. I end up on the internet or working or tidying the house. I get so little time as I work FT with a 14 month old and then when I do get say 30 minutes on the weekend, I end up working or doing chores.

The only time I have really for me and me alone is my exercise time. I run at the gym, lift weights and do it 6 days a week. It really saves me from depression I think.

I with Emmyloo - Exercise, running especially - trainers on ipod going and off you go - you feel so great afterwards that ti is really worth doing as well as being great for you.

Doing volunteer soup kitchen is something that helps give me perspective on my life... I used to volunteer in an Aids orphanage when I lived in Africa, if anything gives you perspective, that will! Try to walk in someone else's shoes for a bit... you'll soon realise how very cushy and comfortable your heels are.

Hobbies (I paint and do wire work and make paper), exercise, long walks with spouse/family, amateur photography... get out the house! Be in nature.

I'd try exercise. Might be worth signing up for a 5K run in a few months time, as that will encourage you to persevere