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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think there is more to spoiling your child(ren) than treating them to trips?

10 replies

shortcutplease · 09/01/2012 18:45

My parents have been divorced since I was a small child, both are remarried. Over the years (especially since we had DD, 4.5) my parents have put aside their differences and even have meals out together (with their respective partners). This year we all had Christmas together at my mum's house. I guess that what i am trying to say here is that I don't think there are any 'sour grapes' between them.

My Dad has very kindly offered to take DP, DD and I to Eurodisney in the Spring for three days. We are really looking forward to it. Dad is comfortably off, we are not so well off and this is not something we would have spent our own money on. However, we are delighted that we will all be having this holiday together.

For the past couple of years we have treated DD to a daytrip to Legoland. We use tesco vouchers which really reduces the cost of the trip. Each time we have gone we have had a brilliant time (have to admit I love it too). This year mum said she would love to come too.

However, now that Dad has offered the disney land trip Mum is telling me we shouldn't go to Legoland as "its not good to spoil DD". Her comments have really hurt me for some reason. I think I am probably hyper-sensitive to the 'spoiled' comments as we are unable to have any further children and so are sometimes subject to the daft "only children are more spoilt" comments.

I am happy with our family of three, but am aware that DD may be more likely to be spoiled than a child from a larger family. I am trying to make sure that this doesn't happen- so mums comments and refusal to join us to legoland have really hurt my feelings.

On the other hand maybe I have my blinkers on and cannot see that a trip to eurodisney and a trip to legoland would be overindulging my PFB?

So would it be spoiling her to allow both trips to happen?

OP posts:
imoanruby · 09/01/2012 18:48

No it would not be spoiling her to allow both trips to happen...it's called spending quality family time together! Do both, enjoy both! Smile

flyingspaghettimonster · 09/01/2012 18:50

YANBU. My kids have annual passes to the Busch Gardens theme park and water park - we chose to buy those instead of paying for a holiday each year as we can go as often as we like all summer and it is good excercise, fun and activity for the kids.

I think kids these days do have more trips just for them. I remember we only got to go to town once every 6 months as kids (lived in a village with crappy bus service and Dad never drove us anywhere) so that was a big treat, and then annual holidays to grandparents or a holiday abroad were the only other trips we had.

My kids have trips ever weekend and often after school we take them to a play area, park or the zoo nearby. They aren't any more spoiled than the other kids in the area, all of whom have memberships with places like the zoo and theme parks...

It definitely takes more than a few trips to spoil a child. Your daughter would love a day with her grandmother I am sure...

imoanruby · 09/01/2012 18:55

We also have annual Legoland passes and we go to Florida most years as well. My dd1 loves the Tudors so we have passes for Historic Royal Palaces and National Trust. I am always taking them somewhere, surely it's what having children is all about, making wonderful memories with them.

shortcutplease · 09/01/2012 18:59

Thank you for your support. I have wonderful memories of our legoland trips and was looking foward to making some new ones. I think mum's comments threw me somewhat and made me doubt that taking her is the right thing to do.

We will go anyway but without my mum. Time is flying by and I want to make the most of these precious years......

OP posts:
threeprinces · 09/01/2012 19:15

Sounds like your mum is just put out that your dad is treating you. You're not being unreasonable at all, your daughter won't be spoilt by going on an extra trip. It's not like she has everything and is just given anything she wants, that's my definition of spoilt.

Kayano · 09/01/2012 19:23

I'm an only child and had loads of trips to Disneyland and legoland etc. I was a little spoilt but I knew how lucky I was and my mum and I are best friends and totally close now.

Don't worry about your DM comments Wink

whatstheetiquette · 09/01/2012 19:24

Just go to Legoland without your mum. What she is saying is nonsense and there is clearly another reason behind it.

Adversecamber · 09/01/2012 19:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wigglesrock · 09/01/2012 19:29

Oh never worry, a holiday with her parents and grandad and then a seperate day trip to Legoland with her parents and maybe granny is not spoiling.

My parents are planning on taking my dds to Eurodisney next year (without us Grin) and we'll still take them on our summer holidays. Its a treat your dds grandfather is taking you all on - totally exempt from spoiling rules!

shortcutplease · 09/01/2012 21:26

Thanks again. This was my first AIBU thread and I think I have got away lightly!!

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