To be annoyed with my mum about a conversation about a bin?

[sallymonella]

(first ever thread I've started!)

Ok, there's a lot of back story to this, but I just want to vent really.

I just had an argument with my mum about bins for my DSs bedrooms. How? how? Well, she offered me a bin for in DS1's bedroom. I wasn't that bothered whether he has a bin in there or not, but took it with much thanks and stupidly commented that he had pointed out a Ben 10 bin once and said he wanted it. So then she says, if I had said, then she could have got it him for Christmas, at which I stupidly gave a snort of laughter at the thought of giving a 7 yo boy a bin for Christmas.

She then took offence and at that point all logic went out of the window and I can't repeat the rest of the conversation as it made no sense and so I can't remember it.

Anyway, it culminated with her saying something about how it was ok for me as I could afford to buy them whatever they wanted. I asked her to explain the relevance of this to the conversation, so she then told me to get out (we were at her house). Tomorrow when I see her, it will be as though nothing happened...

This sort of argument occurs a lot and it's driving me mad!

Yep sounds like the conversations I have with my mum. I find its easier just to smile and nod and not venture opinions with her now.

Ooo, I know! I do normally try and do that, but I honestly thoughht that no-one could possibly NOT see the funny side of giving a kid a bin for Christmas.

Having said that, I probably should have known better, as some of my all time favourite presents from my mum include toothbrushes, flannels, and salt.

Does she often throw you out during an argument?

Well, to be honest, I was on my way out anyway. She was just hurrying me along. But the reason she did it, IMO, was because she realised I was right but couldn't possibly back down.

I'm just really fed up of having to watch everything I say. I know she's not going to change and I should be grateful for having her around but sometimes, jeez!

Hi Sally. Does she often hurry you out the door then, like this occasion? It's not ok if so. Presents sound a bit too. I have to watch everything I say with my mum too, and she cannot stand to be wrong.

BTW you are not being unreasonable (bin for Xmas?!)

My Mum is like this.

Says what she wants also, then rushes me out of the door... incensed with rage!

Also she likes to do it at mine too, once I LOCKED her in just so I could finnish what I needed to.

It was a sight to behold, she was getting angrier and angrier...finally I let her out, I was convinced she was about to explode!

I love her very much ...promise ... butshe is obsessed with having the last word

Thank you ladies, it's good to know it's not just me.

Feminine, that must have been amazing, you're very brave! I can just imagine the look on my mum's face if I did that, but I wouldn't dare.... Unless I really lost my rag, which I try not to do because then I say unreasonable things too, and I'm desperately trying to keep the moral highground :)

70s, I actually raised the subject of the odd Christmas presents a couple of years ago when I couldn't take it anymore (was actually really upset that no one in my family seemed to know me enough to buy me something I didn't hate. Sounds selfish, and probably is, but a clock in the shape of a Staffie's head from my parents and a welcome mat for my front door with a Staffie head on it from my brother and his wife??? I love my Staffie but that doesn't mean I want random Staffie images all over my house!). Needless to say, it didn't go down well (perhaps understandably).

Sally she tried it here too (while visiting me in the US)

that didn't turn out very well ...we live very rurally and she had nowhere to stomp off to!

Giving a child a bedroom bin for Christmas is like giving a woman a tea towel and kitchen equipment for Chrimas.

A child should be given something for a child as a present eg a toy, a book or money; not a household item.

(Am just going to start the campaign for bin-appreciation)

Is it such a ridiculous present to get a child ? (I'm not saying any of my kids have bins in their room yet). But I could imagine my 3DDs actually quite liking a bin, especially if it had 'Hello Kitty' or something on it.

BUT I am definitely the sort of woman that likes to get kitcheny things for Christmas. Perhaps your mum is too, so finds it hard to understand why you think it was such a silly idea. (She prob feels a bit embarrassed too)

Arrggghh...my mum is just the same. We've had rows over something as simple as an Asda trolley in the past

A bin is a rubbish present!

Did I kill my own thread by disappearing yesterday?!

Oh well, just to say thanks to everyone, it's nice to know that it's not just me that thinks a bin is a weird Christmas present. She does tend to make me feel like I'm always the one in the wrong.

umm..giving a bin to a child teaches them to throw their rubbish in it, and not on the floor surely :)

DS2 got a metal bin for Christmas from Santa when he was 5. He kept stopping to gaze at it in Staples.

To be fair Santa also included matching mini desk drawers and a desk tidy.

He was / is that type of child though. The following year he asked for a 4 by 1 electric cable and a padlock.

In retrospect ... Maybe i should have taken him to other shops

I have that sort of conversation with my mum too.

For my 18th birthday my mum was determined to get me a lockable metal file box so that I could keep my insurance, university registration papers and household bills filed sensibly when I went to university.

Where do you even start with this.

I have no strong opinions on a bin. But that so many posters have said that their parents will pretty much kick them out of the house during an argument. That would be such a huge thing for me that it would change relationships forever - how can you just carry on as if nothing has happened? Or let them carry on? Genuine Q.

Well that's DS2's 18th sorted

WeatherVane I wouldn't. I really wouldn't. I did not end well....

sue your question is interesting :)

For me, because she has always done it, I just accept it as part of one of my Mother's quirks.

I don't really think its alright for her to do it, it still hurts.

When I locked her in, I felt very powerful.

Until very recently I used to talk very quickly, I attribute that to having to (as a child) if I wanted to get a word in at all

at the locking in though.

Sue, i agree with what feminine said. It's just the way she is, she's never going to change, and if i kick up too much of a fuss it could damage our family forever. I'm the same with the talking as well!

Folkgirl - exactly! You want something special, that you'll keep forever for your 18th.

My mum once bought me (and siblings) a shredder for Xmas. She was worried about identity theft. I thought "bless". As I get older, in find myself thinking of strange but useful presents too; I think I am turning into her.