to be seething at ExH?

[anythingbutfishfingers]

A mutual friend of mine and ExH has just told me she is concerned for him as he feels he is being forced out of our 3 DCs lives.

Short backround is we have been apart for nearly 2 years and in that whole time he has maybe asked to see kids 10 times if that. He does see the kids regularly but only because I ask him to come see them or watch them whilst I go to medical appointments etc. Often when I do ask him he will say yes and then make feeble excuses at short notice.

The other thing is that I have heard he is planning to move 400 miles away to be with his new partner as she is expecting. This is understandable but what grates is he has said he can do this as my DP has moved in and because of that ex is no longer needed in DC's lives!

It sounds like you need to speak to him, and not find things out that may or may not be true from this friend

what, he thinks he can just dump responsibility onto your partner?

tell exh in no uncertain terms, that no, no way is this in any way acceptable- no matter how fab your partner is, he's not, & never will be the kids dad, it's not his responsibility to be "dad".

he sounds like a knob, & if i was his pregnant partner, i'd be wary- if he can walk away from his first 3 kids, he can do it to the next one.

as for the friend, i'd put her straight, then tell her to mind her own.

I've asked him to come see DCs sometime this week after school. Will sit him down there and try get some sense from him.

who walked away from who?

I asked him to leave after I cheated (not my best moment). Then we tried again and came to mutual decision to go separate ways.

hang on - is this just 3rd hand info via a friend?
Think you need to talk to each other tbh

Perhaps your X should be speaking to you if he feels excluded from his DC's lives, rather than bringing mutual friends into the equation.

I may understand it a little more if he had spoken to you already, but it is bad form imo to go whining complain to mutual friends when you have never spoken to the X about whatever issue is causing a problem first.

Has your X spoken to you about how he feels OP?

He's never said anything about feeling pushed out. I've asked him how he feels about DP living with kids and he told me he was happy for all of us.

This isn't the first time I've heard about his feelings through mutual friends, his friends and even his family. It was his sister that let slip about his planned move and also to me and my DC about him and his partners baby being due in July. He has yet to mention this to me or our DC himself.

I think words will be had when he comes to see kids next.