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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Cat swiped at DS, AIBU not to want to get rid of him?

78 replies

Hairynigel · 09/01/2012 10:42

Get rid of the cat obvs, not DS.
DS snook up on him and squealed in his face, Cat took a short swipe and left 2 small scratches on his face.
Generally Cat doesn't have a problem with DS, he gets up and wanders off somewhere else if DS is annoying him, this has never happened before.

Just told DP and now he wants to get rid of Cat. He has never liked Cat and is always looking for reasons to rehome him. Cat is 123 years old and unlikely to be rehomed.

AIBU for wanting to keep him, even though he took a swipe at DS?

OP posts:

mrsjay · 09/01/2012 10:44

well maybe your son wont go near cat again i would keep your cat and keep ds away from cat , children need to learn to respect animals and by keeping cat your son will learn , and is your cat really 123 years old

D0oinMeCleanin · 09/01/2012 10:45

YANBU. DS will now think twice before screeching in cats face a good lesson learned and no serious harm done imo.

Kayano · 09/01/2012 10:45

It was your DS fault! Totally unreasonable to 'rehome' such an old cat. Poor cat would likely be put
Down you know? Tell DH to get lost and teach your DS how to behave around the cat or keep them seperated!

WaitingForMe · 09/01/2012 10:46

Not at all. We're very strict with 3 yr old DSS because frankly we're amazed at the angelic nature of our cats given how he can be with them. Kids need to learn actions have consequences. It's hardly the cats fault if it feels the need to defend itself.

Obviously if there was an unprompted attack the cat would be gone.

MabelLucyAttwell · 09/01/2012 10:46

If your cat was scared by an incident before it scratched your DS, I would forgive it if it were mine. You didn't say how old your DS is. It was a reflex action by the cat upon a threat. I would keep the cat and tell the DS to leave it alone unless he wanted another scratch.

Hassled · 09/01/2012 10:46

YANBU - I think it was a warning and your DS is unlikely to squeal in his face again.

I do feel a bit for your DP living with a cat when he doesn't like cats, though (I'd hate to live with a dog in the house as I'm uncomfortable around dogs, so I can see where he's coming from) but if the cat is old and unlikely to be rehomed then he'll have to cope, I guess.

DoesNotGiveAFig · 09/01/2012 10:46

YANBU, keep cat.

DS learned a valuable lesson, he was teasing the cat. It's not like cat savaged him for no reason.

PattiMayor · 09/01/2012 10:46

Tell your DP he can leave if he likes :o

Original poster

Hairynigel · 09/01/2012 10:47

I should add that said cat is 12 years old, not 123

OP posts:

snuffaluffagus · 09/01/2012 10:47

You don't mention how old your son is, but if he's old enough, teach him not to treat the cat like that.. golden opportunity!

It would be unreasonable to rehome a cat for this.

Try not to leave them alone together if you're worried.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 09/01/2012 10:48

YANBU.......my cat did this to my DS when he was a toddler and also to one of his friends - the cat was cornered and lashed out....neither of them did it again and no, I would never have considered getting rid of the cat.

Tell DH where to go - it would be very hard to re-home an old cat so just tell DS not to corner/squeal in his face.

kiki22 · 09/01/2012 10:48

I wouldn't my niece had been scratched a bunch of times by my mums cat when she was younger she's now learned if you annoy the cat the cat will scratch you, She is very good with animals in general now and will always ask if she can pet dogs if she passes them in the street and is very careful not to scare any animals she may be around because she knows that they can scratch bite if you annoy or hurt them all due to having being on the cats bad side :)

The cat loves her now she doesn't annoy her

uggmum · 09/01/2012 10:48

I'm not surprised that your cat reacted in this way. Mine would have done too. He was probably scared.
My dc have had the odd scratch when they have bugged the cat. Ie, waking him up and carrying him round the house when he clearly didn't want to cooperate.
Your ds would have learnt by this and hopefully will not approach the cat in this way again.
It's a bit mean to get rid of the cat as he only lashed out because he was frightened.

worldgonecrazy · 09/01/2012 10:48

Definitely not a reason for rehoming. Your DS and cat need to find their own terms. Children will occasionally do this and the cat is fully within its rights to swipe if it is being picked on or bullied by your child. This is how children learn some lessons - the hard way.

My cat is very tetchy with children, having been abused badly by them in her previous home. DD has had a couple of scratches from her, usually because DD doesn't know when to back off and keeps running after her wanting to play. They are settling down now and DD (2) is learning to be more gentle.

FlightRisk · 09/01/2012 10:49

I'm sorry but when my DS used to annoy the cats (carried them around as kittens by their tails) I told him off and warned him they would hurt him. He finally got the swipe and never annoyed them again

It isn't the cats fault the child hasn't learnt yet. What about cats that aren't his that he chooses to torment when he's older? Teach the child not the cat.

perceptionreality · 09/01/2012 10:49

I think YABU. Most cats will swipe if they feel a bit put out. The biggest danger is to the eyes but generally cats are not aggressive in the way that dogs can be and they are not as powerful.

eurochick · 09/01/2012 10:50

YADNBU! I grew up in a house with 2 cats (that were there before me) and got the odd swipe when I annoyed them. It's a normal part of learning about boundaries! A cat scratch is not going to do your son any major harm. I think it's horrific that anyone would even think of rehoming a cat for something so trivial!

perceptionreality · 09/01/2012 10:51

sorry! I meant YANBU obviously

notveryinventive · 09/01/2012 10:51

YANBU to keep the cat.

We have a cat and 3 DCs. We got our cat when DS was 3 and DD1 was 6 months. Our Cat doesnt like our DCs but that is due to DS chasing him when we first got him so it is DS's fault.

In your case the cat was just protecting himself, probably just trying to show who's boss. Agree with mrsjay in that your DS will learn about respecting the cat and learning how to treat animals.

at a 123 YO cat

LisasCat · 09/01/2012 10:51

Tell DP to get stuffed. Cats are not in a position to seriously harm a child (suffocating a baby aside). As a teenager my arms and hands were constantly covered in scratches from our cats, who got over excited when I tickled their tummies, but I let them do it to me because I loved seeing how much pleasure they got from tummy tickles. If I hadn't wanted to be scratched I'd have given the cats a wide berth. It's not rocket science, and your DS has now had lesson 1 in this valuable learning curve.

Original poster

Hairynigel · 09/01/2012 10:51

DS is 18 months old. I've tried reasoning with him about scaring the cats but it goes in 1 ear and out the other! Hard to keep them apart at the mo as we live in a tiny flat. We'll be moving to a bigger house in the next few months so that should be a lot easier to keep them apart.

OP posts:

AFuckingKnackeredWoman · 09/01/2012 10:51

Oh my 15 toddler has gotten many a swipe from both cats when he displeases them.

He's learnt not to grab at them or sit on them or touch their food the hard way and never done what he got scratched for twice.
Both cats are very indulgent and let him play with them but he knows their boundaries - as it should be

MrsHankey · 09/01/2012 10:51

YAdefNBU, your DH is being OTT.
Well put by kiki

mrsjay · 09/01/2012 10:51

Hairyangel i was thinking wow a cat that old and it can still swipe my cat has swiped at the kids when they were younger they learned to leave her alone ,

HeadfirstForHalos · 09/01/2012 10:52

Your ds has learned a valuable lesson in respecting animals :)

The cat didn't attack him, just defended itself. Our kitten scratched dd2 (6) all down her arm last week, it was her fault though for mauling him so aswell as getting scratched she got a stern talking toafter seeing to her scratch, I'm not heartless ) ! It didn't even cross my mind to rehome him.

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