WIBU to ask a guest to leave........

[nolembit]

as they refused (rudely) to move their car when my neighbour asked them to?

My brother currently has issues with his neighbours and so knows how unpleasant things can get.

RabidEchidna I wanted to see my neice (as did my 3DC's) as we haven't seen her in a year. If I hadn't wanted to see him I would have made an excuse when he phoned, I was just worried that he was going to be an arse. He proved me right as he walked in the door. BTW my 3DC's and I were in floods of tears when they left.

The thing is though l can sort of see your DBs pov. It does come across as self righteous and can be provocative when someone asks you to move just because they dont want you to park there. If l was asked nicely if l wouldnt mind moving to another nearby space if someone gave a viable reason why they wanted me to then l would move. But if some Mr Self Righteous - self appointed street warden came marching out at me - then providing l was not obstructing and was legally parked l would refuse - not rudely but assertively on principal.

I would not then expect my relative or friend l was visiting to throw me out for 'upsetting' neighbour by not giving them their own way - so YABU - unless the real issue was him swearing in front of DCs then YANBU to have asked him to modify or leave. You only have the neighbours word he was rude btw. Some people actually take a refusal as rude in itself dont forget.

Sudaname I know he was rude because he was being rude loudly as he came in the door. It is the fact that he refused to move his car when I asked him too (explaining that it would cause me grief if he didn't) that really upsets me. So instead of just putting up with his rubbish as I usually do to keep the peace, for once, I decided to let him know that if he couldn't behave himself then he would have to leave.

Well l really dont think you should have to worry about getting 'grief' because your brother refuses to move his legally parked car. You say it is that rather than the rudeness that would cause you to get grief. Sounds to me like this neighbour is at best bossy and at worst a bully if you are convinced (although you say he is lovely) that you will get 'grief' from him - why ? - because someone else wont move their legally parked car and/ or abide by the unofficial 'rules' of the residents despite you requesting strongly they do so ?

Creating a good friendly neighbourhood can take a lot of work. But it is worth it. Unfriendly neighbourly relationships can cause absolute hell, even in the nicest of areas.

YWNBU asking your guest to uphold the unwritten amicable agreement you have between your neighbours and hopefully friends. As your guest your DB should have supported this and obliged.

DB was an arse.

Sudaname you may not agree with the unofficial arrangement in our village but it is all to do with respect for your neighbours. It is beneficial to everyone in the village as they can usually park in front of their houses.

No other guests have been upset by the request although I do feel uncomfortable asking them to move as it is a public road and quite rightly legally people can park where they like.

Our neighbour is not bossy he was only expecting to receive the same courtesy and consideration that everyone else receives in the village through mutual consent.

If a relative of mine asked me to move my car to help ensure that their life was kept slightly easier I would do it. And I would hope they would do it for me.

I'm rather glad I was out and couldn't chip in with my opinion earlier because you've drip-fed information, haven't you?

From the first few posts I'd have said you were being unreasonable. However, now you reveal the general nastiness of your brother, I think you were probably quite reasonable (well as far as telling anyone to Fuck Off can be interpreted as reasonable) in asking him to leave.

But this isn't about parking, is it? It's about your brother.

YANBU in my opinion. Is there something wrong with your brother which makes him so aggresive-why did he get so worked up about a parking space?

Yanbu to show your brother that you expect him to respect you and your house. Sounds like that was a shock to him. That can only be a good result.

The parking sounds a little controlling, but rural villages do tend to have their own rules of engagement.

our street tries to enforce an unofficial, let's all park outside our own houses and guest park on the other side of the road where there are no houses. But legally people can park where they like. I used to have tenants and I told them both of the above - the neighbours would prefer you to park outside your own home or on the other side of the road, but you don't have to.

Pandemoniaa It is about my brother although I do ask other guests to park appropriately especially for overnight stays. If it was a short visit then I wouldn't ask them to move unless a neighbour had asked. There are a lot of elderly people in the village some of whom have limited mobility.

In the circumstances I think you were right to make him leave. It might not be illegal to park where he'd chosen but it certainly sounds as if it was inconsiderate.

Amazingly my brother has apologised twice . I feel liberated, I think he might just take me seriously now and I might just have regained some respect for him, long may it last

I think YANBU. Living in a friendly, calm environment where everyone gets along and nobody deliberately antagonises others is good practice. You don't have to be best friends, just respectful of others.
He should have moved to "keep the peace" for your sake, not made it unpleasant for you.

All fair enough Nolembit but my sticking point with this arrangement would be that l must expect to get grief from my neighbours if one of my guests refused to abide by unofficial parking rules. Its pretty obvious that beyond abiding by them yourself and asking your guests to do so and even asking them to leave if they wont abide (tho l kno the swearing etc was a factor in this) - l mean what else can you do to conform to these 'rules'. Why on earth should it be acceptable for your grown up male visitors refusal to abide give neighbours a right to give you stick. Have no problem with unofficial arrangements or mutually beneficial courtesies whatsoever. As long as its remembered that they are just that. I have lived in a small rural village and l know it can become a little mafiosa like at times thats all.

He was wrong to be rude in general but I agree with Sudaname.

Its a small party for a short amount of time and guests are not aware of unofficial parking rules unless OP specifically put NO PARKING signs up. We all know you can't block drive ways. However, if a car is park legally and clear of driveways, then I would hope that neighbors would be tolerant for that short period of time that I or another neighbor is hosting a party. Its all part of being neighborly.