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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be pissed off with DH and his head injury

31 replies

notagoodnurse · 07/01/2012 17:01

namechanger. Shit pouffe, river of sweetcorn etc etc

Yesterday lunchtime DH (off work as we are clearing the house ready for a new roof), caught his head on a shelf. Small cut but it bled a lot though stopped quickly. He REFUSED to go to the doctors or even call them/NHS direct.

I'm a first aider and with the DCs I am always the one saying they need to be seen properly while DH is more likely to say 'it's nothing'. But with the DCs he trusts my judgement.

Anyway, he seemed okay - no immediate symptoms of concussion or other problems. Took some painkillers and carried on with our day.

An hour ago he came to find me (I was clearing the bedroom and he was doing the living-room), saying he felt nauseous and like he had a migrane coming on (he gets migranes sometimes), with numb fingers. I said he must go to hospital. He refused. I begged him to call NHS direct. He refused.

He has gone for a lie down (I know!) and I'm too cross and worried to do more housework.

I am so pissed off! He won't call NHS direct because "they'll just send me to hospital" and he won't go to hospital because "it's not that bad and they can't do anything for concussion anyway and it's not concussion it's just a headache please turn the light out and come and get me in an hour".

AIBU to be pissed off with his attitude?

OP posts:

Gigondas · 07/01/2012 17:02

Can you take him to
Hospital? Probably tricky but Yanbu to be pissed off and I imagine worried

lesley33 · 07/01/2012 17:05

I admit I would be like your DH. Head wounds can bleed quite profusely and still be nothing. Just keep an eye on him.

albusmycat · 07/01/2012 17:06

"caught his head on a shelf" doesn't particularly sound like the sort of accident that would cause concussion though. You have to hit your head pretty hard, not "catch it". I don't blame him not wanting to sit in A&E for hours. Give him some Migraleve - he's a grown up, you can't make him do stuff.

troisgarcons · 07/01/2012 17:07

If he's prone to migraine then he would know the difference between a migraine and something else?

Original poster

notagoodnurse · 07/01/2012 17:09

I know I can't make him do stuff but the roof IS coming off on Tuesday and I'll have to do it all myself now!

[v v selfish emoticon]

He stood up 'into' the shelf iyswim, it was fairly deep (not down to the bone or anything but it went down into his head, puncture-style rather than being a scrape).

I am worried AND pissed off. He is SO rubbish about his health and it drives me insane because I love him and don't want him to die

OP posts:

FabbyChic · 07/01/2012 17:10

My friend knocked his head on an arch in his lounge, a week later it was found he had broken his neck.

I'd be really careful if I was your husband.

Original poster

notagoodnurse · 07/01/2012 17:11

It's not a migrane, for sure, or not a normal one. The nausea isn't what happens. He gets visual disturbances before them, not the tingly/numb hands and nausea AND visual disturbances (which is what's happening now).

He won't take anything stronger than neurofen for whatever stupid reason. He wouldn't take my veganin because apparently my cramps are worse and I need them more.

OP posts:

troisgarcons · 07/01/2012 17:13

Call an ambulance if you think he has a brain bleed or similar.

albusmycat · 07/01/2012 17:13

If he stood up into the shelf it's more likely to be a neck injury than head.

Original poster

notagoodnurse · 07/01/2012 17:15

If I called an ambulance he'd refuse to go and they wouldn't take him (I know this from bitter experience!), and it would be a waste of resources.

He has maintained his neck feels fine and normal throughout. His hour is nearly up though so I'll go and do some pupil response checks...

OP posts:

Jasper · 07/01/2012 17:20

Surely he can be trusted, as an adult, to make his own health assessment and choices?

Original poster

notagoodnurse · 07/01/2012 17:24

He has permanent damage to one of his eyes as a result of his 'I'm fine, nothing's fallen off' attitude and I would hate it if he carked it.

I wish he'd either be well enough to help with the heavy lifting OR seek medical advice. As it is he's going to insist he's fine to carry on then collapse in a wan heap and keep apologising while insisting he's fine.

OP posts:

LoveInASnowyClimate · 07/01/2012 17:25

Can you call NHS Direct on his behalf? I don't mean to worry you, but a close family member had an initially undiagnosed brain haemorrhage after a bang to the head and was very ill. Better to be safe than sorry...

WorraLiberty · 07/01/2012 17:25

I think I'd be the same as him to be honest

A friend of mine became a first aider and ever since, she's had a tendency to over react.

I'm not saying you're over reacting, but maybe he thinks you are?

DressingGownQueen · 07/01/2012 17:26

I'm just like you OP. I would always rather be safe than sorry, no question about it.

I suppose the only thing you can do it keep at him about it and if you think there is reason for concern maybe phone NHS direct on his behalf and see if he will talk to them. He sounds bloody stubborn though.

TheSkiingGardener · 07/01/2012 17:27

Tell the silly sod he's being selfish. He needs to get checked out for his family.

winnybella · 07/01/2012 17:34

It seems extremely unlikely to me that he would get brain hemorrhage from hitting his head on the shelf, tbh.
It does seem like you're overreacting a bit.

Original poster

notagoodnurse · 07/01/2012 17:37

I'd always rather overreact than underreact iyswim? I can't make him do anything but we have had examples in our lives and the lives of people close to us when it's been worth making sure. So I always, always do (especially with three young DCs), I'd rather spend hours in waiting rooms and know for sure than risk it.

But I can't make DH share my POV.

OP posts:

AlpinePony · 07/01/2012 17:39

Please don't call for an ambulance, there will people out there tonight who do actually need one.

Original poster

notagoodnurse · 07/01/2012 17:41

Alpine, I already said I wasn't going to do that for exactly that reason. My DSis is an ambulance dispatcher and I don't take calling one lightly (one of the reasons DS1 was nearly BBA in a cab!)

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 07/01/2012 17:43

So I always, always do (especially with three young DCs), I'd rather spend hours in waiting rooms and know for sure than risk it

That's what I mean

Perhaps your DH feels your POV is somehow not too valid due to you admittedly tending to over react.

It's annoying and worrying for you, but you can't force him to go.

albusmycat · 07/01/2012 17:44

Can't believe anyone has suggested calling an ambulance. Yes, you'd rather spend hours in waiting rooms but your OH obviously wouldn't.

AlpinePony · 07/01/2012 17:45

Sorry notagoodnurse, I missed your response! The stories your sister must have! :o!

Original poster

notagoodnurse · 07/01/2012 17:55

If he had listened to me two years ago he'd still have full sight in his eye.

I NEVER EVER say that to him. He knows it. But it makes his dismissive attitude upsetting.

Mostly though I just love him and want him around in one piece.

And I am ANNOYED he can't help with this fucking house clearance.

OP posts:

Jasper · 08/01/2012 00:04

How is your dh?
I do hope this has turned out ok

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