to just want people i know at birthday

[jan2011]

we invited family and some friends out for dinner for my bday. one of the friends wanted to invite THEIR friends, saying it would be good for me to meet them and that they usually do something at the weekend together anyway with them. AIBU to say no, and that i just want to keep it to people i know? its not that i don't want to be nice, its just that for my birthday i don't want it to be a time of meeting new people etc i just want to cherish and enjoy the friendships i have and my family. should i just keep them happy by inviting whoever wants to come?

God no.
Your friend is mad.

How rude! Tell them to get stuffed!

Friend is both mad and rude. She wants to go to your do and see her mates - i.e. have her cake and eat it - and she thinks she can get away with it by giving you some bollocks about getting to meet them. Tell her she can fuck right off.

Yanbu

thanks i was unsure as even hubby and me were arguing about it as he doesn't want to offend people but its good to know some people agree

YANBU - meet them another time

YANBU

I don't think they were rude asking, it might have been a case of the more the merrier, but they were being rude pressing the point and trying to make you feel shit if you say no.

They shouldn't be offended because they did ask, which leaves it open for you to say no if you want, unless it was a demand you're required to obey?

Better they asked than just turned up with the people as well.

I would say

I wanted to have a smaller celebration for my birthday but it would be great to meet up with your friends another time

I think it was rude because it is an 'occasion' - if no occasion it isn't rude

who is paying for the dinner?

Well one way of looking at it is that it's rather flattering to you that they want to introduce you to their other friends and want their other friends to meet you. Some people genuinely have a very sociable, 'more the merrier', 'I want all my friends to be friends with each other' kind of mentality which can come across as a bit rude or out of place but is meant well.

My DH is a bit like this and some other friends of mine are VERY like this so I suppose I've become used to it and have made some lovely friends through other friends.

But it is your birthday so up to you. But don't fall out with anyone over this - remember for these other friends to want to come to a complete stranger's birthday your friend must have been saying lots of lovely things about you!