wanted to ask before acting!

[EllenandBump]

My sister has just applied for a provisional driving licence. She is doing this since i have decided to apply for one myself. The thing is i am quite worried about her driving. She suffers from sleep apnoe and currently is having problems with her heart and has been told not to do anything stressful or streneous. I am worried that she often goes into a sort of dazed state and this has caused her to fall off horses in the past because she basically goes into cuckoo land, AIBU to inform dvla of her illnesses as she has not disclosed any of them on her application. She is this year going to have a cardiac device fitted.

Because there is obviously a back story to this you would do well to be as upfront about your concerns as possible. Maybe encourage her to see her Dr specifically about the possibility of driving. Furthermore I wouldn't feel comfortable having lessons with her husband, it's kind of rubbing her face in it don't you think?

It was just a general comment. I dont plan on learning to drive until i have sorted all the rest of my life out. He just happened to say that he would be happy to teach me to drive but not her cos the doctor has said no. My sister asked the doctor to sign her provisional application and the doctor said she couldnt as she is not safe to drive. Therefore i think she has explicitly ben told she cant drive! She just wont listen. I emailed the dvla last night as i couldnt sleep over it. I thought she wouldnt go through with it but she has. I thought we could make her see sense but No. I will learn to drive, cos i know i can. I wont rub her face in it though. x

Sorry to go off subject Ellen. Do you (or anyone else) know where on all the MN topics I can talk to other mums with epilepsy? DC1 is due very soon and I could do with some advice and reassurance about being a mum with epilepsy.

I would put it under health. How are you seizures? Mine are well controlled and have stayed that way. They do recommend a few things but i have been fine. x

The DVLA apparently every year get lots of letters and phone calls from concerned relatives disclosing reasons such as yours as to why relatives should not have a driving licence. I would contact them. The worst case scenario is that she because of her illness she crashes and dies or is seriously injured. It is too important an issue to ignore.

My DH has a license but hasn't driven for over 10 years due to his Narcolepsy. It's too risky the DVLA wouldn't allow it. Part of his condition is absences the same as your sister and contrary to what I've heard driving does not keep your mind occupied enough to avoid this. Just the opposite in fact. If she was on a motorway it would be carnage. . If it were only herself she was risking I'd say knock yourself out (figuratively) but yes I agree you are right to get in touch with the DVLA.

I am glad i emailed the dvla. Done it anonymously late last night/ early hours. Just doesnt seem right not to have disclosed it and bloody damn right stupid and selfish, if she was 18 and only wanted it as proof of age with no intentions of driving fair enough, but she wants to learn and has bought all the theory test books etc! what a waste of money especially if they now refuse her licence!

Maybe she could sell the books!

Or maybe its her own silly selfish fault and she deserves to have thrown the money away!! I dont care how but i will do my best to make sure she isnt allowed to drive. sounds harsh but necessary. There is no talking to her, she is sooo stubborn. x

Ellen Thank's I'll look under heath, mine are well controlled so far, I have only been medicated a few months. It seems to have improved dramatically and now only get dizzy spells and feel faint, but can't be sure if that's pregnancy or epilepsy related.
Anyway back to the subject of your thread. I'm glad you emailed the DVLA, that was definitely the right thing to do. I just hope you can make your sister see scene without too much grief between you.

I emailed then anonymously. Set up an email account specially for it. Hopefully she will be told they checked with her doctor! Or just declined for medical reasons! Perfect. x