to feel angry and frustrated with DH

[dandelionss]

I work every day but only 2.30.DH is self employed but no work on this week so been at home with our 2 youngest aged 6 and 10 ( its still school holidays here.)
When I have come home every day they are sprawled out on the lounge floor watching TV or at best on the x box which is what they've done since they rolled out of bed.Lunch has been cooked but there is a stack of dirty dishes waiting to go in the dishwasher.The house feels cold and dirty.
I don't mind so much about the housework thing , it's more the children -surely he could have taken them out on bikes, swimming, or even switched the TV off and sent them up to their room to play with their toys.
Then he thinks I am being unreasonable!

YANBU he is bening a lzy arse. I hope you are not doing the housework when you return. Let him do the dishes

Wait for a good moment and then try to discuss it calmly (over dinner?). Try to think out each point before you raise it and work out if it matters or if it is just a niggle added in anger. I have had similar problem and my frustration has led me to get really angry and act as if I am more his boss or mother than his partner. In his eyes he probably thinks he has done okay as he has fed them and they have been occupied and are happy. If you can explain why you think he should do things differently then he will have food for thought. Don't expect changes overnight as some men don't seem to know naturally what needs doing and need directing (gently). Yes it is really annoying and frustrating as nobody has to lead you by the hand to show you what needs doing, but then if you want him to do something then sometimes you have to ask nicely. Lastly don't expect him to ever do things the same or as well as you do as he won't, but then again that is why it is nice for children to have two parents as they benefit from the different ways we do things.

Well unless he has stated that he expects you to clean up the mess, then yab a bit u.

How he spends the day is up to him surely?

If the children wanted to go out and he wwouldn't take them, then that would be wrong.

I think that the benefit of lounging around watching television is totally under estimated.

Why would he send the children to their rooms to play, instead of all being together? They sound like they have a good relationship, why do you need to dictate how they spend their time?

I have spent my time off over Christmas watching films with my children. I have been accussed of doing nothing, well i haven't, it has been time well spent IMO.

Thanks for your responses.Some very good points .I wish I had listened to pigpigeon's before I went off on one.I think she talks alot of sense .I can't shake the feeling that while one lazy day is ok , I don't thinki it is healthy for them to just sit about every day watching bloody 'victorious' 'drake and josh' etc.Although they did do an all day gymnastics camp on Wednesday so that kept them off the dreaded TV!

If the kids have done nothing ALL holidays, then YANBU.

My DH waits until I'm out of the house and then enjoys a movie/gaming day with the boys. I don't mind.

When he leaves the house, I often have a Mama Mia fest, and Just Dance day with the boys.

It doesn't happen every day.

And seeing as only 2 days ago they were at an all day gymnastics camp (sounds like hell lol) I think YABU. Though it is a PITA when you're working and everyone else is having a jolly old time doing stuff you don't want to do anyway but not doing what you'd like to be done in your absense (like the washing up, they should have at least done that).

T.V or X-box every day?
What benefits exactly? The odd day, maybe, but every day for a week? Really??? I really hope they've had just a little movement/exercise/energy burnt.
YANBU imo.

YANBU, but I think you need to be thinking About tactics.

Can you subtly suggest to the dc how much fun they could have if they went to the park on their bikes, fed the ducks or went bowling or whatever and get them to use pester power to do the job for you?

YANBU. I would expect my OH to take them out for some fresh air and exercise, clean up the dishes, do a bit of housework, and probably do some playing with them (e.g. make Lego stuff) - and still have time for a film in the afternoon. Your OH is being lazy, but perhaps you need to talk to him about what you would expect them to do with the day. It's not unreasonable to ask him to structure in a walk or play in the park or a swim - it's a healthy habit to get them into at a young age, and it's not unreasonable to expect someone at home to do some of the housework whilst the other is at work.

Yes - what Mofo said. The weather here has been ultra pants.
We've bearly left the house for two weeks!

It's been xbox and dvds a go-go here too.

Lego, painting, baking, drawing, pretend play, puzzles, swimming, library, local play centres, reading, making stuff from rubbish, tidying up, small supermarket trip, or science museum. Any of these for crappy weather days? I would lose my mind watching the box all day every day, even if it was only for a week, it would feel like an eternity.

I've come home to similar things in the past and felt exactly the same (including wondering whether I've been unreasonable). For me, I get frustrated that I work hard to maintain a routine and some basic standards around the house when DH is at work and then get frustrated when things (in my opinion) go to pot when I'm not around. It just feels like laziness on DH's part. I can also see however that I get too uptight sometimes about trying to be the 'perfect' parent and find it frustrating when DH takes what I see as the easy option of sitting in front of the TV all day and not worrying about the dishes stacking up in the kitchen. I think there's also a bit of resentment on my part that he finds it so easy to not worry about those types of things and that since having children his life hasn't changed at all and he can still sit and watch TV all day.

In short, I don't think you're being unreasonable as it's sometimes the small things in life (like a few dishes in the sink) that can push you over the edge when you're a busy, tired Mum!

If this was a regular thing, then fair enough. if it is just a one off week, then I would let it go.. they have had fun together, and nobody has come to any harm..

its up to him what he decides to do, he is supervising them so he decides

if you want to manage what they are doing 24/7. you will need to stay home 24/7

Easy enough - simple guilt trip required.
In an appropriate moment (kids in bed of course) ask him what his memories are of his childhood summer holidays. Let him talk... Then ask him what he thinks 6 and 10's memories will be of theirs. Ho Hum...