to be annoyed at husband changing his stand on things

[stubborncow]

Recently, I've begun to feel that my husband's principles are not very strongly held - basically, if challenged in any real way, they seem to crumble. To be fair, I am not talking about serious moral issues here but wondered what you think about this.

We were thinking of converting our garage to a studio apartment to give us income. (his idea, he's much keener on it and it's with the idea of supporting us all should our jobs go/he die/etc etc) He said we definitely would do it above board with all the relevant permits.

he's just found out that we would be extremely unlikely to granted a permit so he has now decided that he would be happy to do it anyway. The neighbour with whom we share a drive would do the work and is not bothered about the permit. It doesn't touch or impact on anyone else's house or land.

I told him I was really disappointed that he just changes his mind on the importance of doing things legally this way. He responds that the law, in this case, is an ass. I point out that is exactly my point, he's only happy to go along with things as long as it suits him.

Whaddya'll think!?

Just ask him how he will feel if he little scheme gets found out about (which it will if you are renting it out due to insurance, deposit protection etc) and he loses all the money you invested in the conversion.

I would be disappointed in his flakiness btw, but alot of people suddenly change their minds when they see ££££ signs.

People change their minds all the time either because they have received new information or because of cost. Its a part of life.

In this case, he didn't change his mind about the big idea, which was convert the garage into a studio apartment. The only thing he changed was to do it with permits. I think its wrong a route to take because it could cost you and your husband alot more money in the long run without obtaining the appropriate permits. Let him know that and then he will change his mind again. Then you will be happy that he can easily change his stance on things.

Actually this is the opposite to no principles, he is sticking to a plan despite new strong evidence it may not be so wise.

He is right, the law is an ass, and I know of a few people who do this. However, the law is still the law, and the penalty of being caught is potentially higher than any benefits.

He'd be an idiot to do this without the right planning permission in place. I'd be more worried about that than the fact he changes his mind.

My parents converted our loft years ago (pre the days of very easy assumed consents) and some random reported them to the council who came out and luckily just made them replace the windows and floorbards rather than making them completely reverse it. Still an expensive mistake. What if you fall out with your neighbour or your neighbour changes or the guy across the road decides he does not like the colour of your hair?

Sorry - can only comment on this one example and I think your DH is wrong but I can't say that it means that he is generally unprincipled.

You might have a problem when you come to sell the house if it's not done legally.

It will invalidate your building insurance. If you do rent it out, you are doing it illegally and don't be sure that your neighbour will cover up for you, if things go wrong. You could be personally sued or imprisoned.

How will having someone living in your garage not impact of anyone else? Unless you already know who you are going to rent to and that they will not cause any problems and will lie for you. How would you collect your rent, evict them? You couldn't go down the legal route.

It's very likely that they will make you undo the conversion if you do it without planning permission (am an ex-councillor and have asked planning officers to enforce this in the past). Depending on where you live it is likely the council has a plan for housing (in fact, they should) - one of the things we looked at, even though it was a small town and we didn't have an official plan, was population density and overcrowding. The conversion could fall under this or it could just be unsympathetic with the surroundings, or remove space that future occupants may need... any one of which you have no hope of changing. Your DP is being U if he thinks he's going to get around this.

There's clearly nothing wrong with changing your position on something when presented with new information or even just a good counter-argument. I can't see why you'd have a problem with that in principle.

There is, however, something wrong with breaking planning laws.

I think you'd struggle to sell the house without proper planning consents. Try to make it a practical argument rather than a moral debate

Thanks all!

Yes, I think the risk is too big to go down the illegal route - especially as we know a neighbour whose house backs onto our neighbour already complained about his garage (after previously agreeing to it being built) so he has to now get the right permits. That is the argument I have been presenting to him - that we WILL more than likely be found out and then we WILL have to pay.

You have put it in perspective a bit about the changing principles that I am accusing him of too! He was adamant we'd do it all above-board and legally but I guess his commitment to trying to provide for the family is stronger and that's not necessarily a bad thing!

We have a few months to work this out (i.e. for me to persuade him not to invest hard-earned money into something that could cost us even more dearly). In addition to the planning thing, the space is also quite small - smaller than the minimum recommended for a conversion that he found on 1 website (not by much, but still...) and there are a few more practical, sensible things that I hope will convince him that this is not the way to go for the garage.