To not want to cancel my holiday

[imamummyandananny]

So the backstory goes like this:

June 2011 - dh dd and I accompany his parents, gparents and aunt and uncle to turkey for a weeks holiday....it was amazing and we came home and immediately booked 2 weeks, same time same place for this year.

Zoom forward to dec 2011 - dh grandad is diagnosed with terminal cancer, and sadly died on Monday.

We are all utterly devastated, I've been with dh for 16 yrs and loved his gd as if he were my own....are you still reading?

Anyway the point is, family are talking about cancelling the holiday ( which is in June, so 5 months from now) and I'm so disappointed.

Its another huge family holiday and I think it would be a fitting memorial to him.

Opinions please...I know I sound selfish, bt really I'm not
:(

Try to suggest gently that noone makes any big decisions now and take some time out. People may feel differently in a couple of months

Could you still go without the rest of the family? Would your dh want to?

You can't make the decision for other people, but you can let dh know that you would still like to go. Ultimately I think it should be his decision though, because it was with his side of the family.

I wouldn't worry too much yet, if the GD only died on Monday, no one will be thinking straight and making decision. You would be better of concentrating on supporting each other. The holiday is not going to be important for them at the moment.

So sorry for your loss :(

Yes suggest they dont cancel in a knee jerk way, I can understand why they would but agree it might just be what everyone needs. Its harsh on everyone if its just cancelled especially considering loss of deposits etc.

You are being far from selfish, I hope you can get your holiday x

Oh dear kitchen roll.....now I feel really selfish.

We couldn't go without family as they are paying for it

My 6 year old daughter keeps asking if we are still going to turkey without grandad and I feel so sad :(

The gd said before he died that we were still to go.....whether he's there or not.

Sorry for your loss.

I don't understand why they want to cancel the holiday? I could understand if it was now. Perhaps at the moment they can't imagine having fun and feeling like a holiday again, but I'm sure it will be so good for the family to enjoy each other's company. All I can suggest is postponing making a decision - maybe look at the booking policy and choose a date to decide by. It is usually a mistake to make big decisions so soon after a bereavement.

There is no rush and making any irrevocable decision just now that can be delayed would be extremely foolish. I can't imagine that any relative worthy of the affection in which this man appears to have been held would think that, after their death, an act of pointless self-sacrifice would make a fitting memorial.

YY no big decisions at a time like this

I didn't mean to make you feel selfish, sorry if I did. I just mean that you aren't going to get any definite answers on it any time soon, so I would try and forget it for now.

If he said that you should still go, I'm sure the family will remember that when the time comes to make a decision. It's probably best if you don't mention it just now.

what would grandad have wanted?

Sorry for your loss.

My husband and I were meant booked to go on holiday with my mum 3 years ago, and she died unexpectedly and very suddenly a month prior to the holiday. We considered cancelling but then decided that my mum would still have wanted us to go. So we did.

I think this is a reaction to a very sad event. In 5 months time I'm sure everyone will be ready for a holiday and I'm equally sure that your dh's gf would not have wanted everyone to cancel this trip.

But as others have said, it is very early days. Don't encourage anyone to make a snap decision just now.

My DMIL booked a holiday cottage every Spring and Autumn, in a beautiful place. We were due to join her the year she died, of course we went. She wouldn't have wanted anything else.

Unfortunately if the holiday was booked and paid for by DH's family then it's not 'your' holiday and it's their choice to make. I'm also a bit you are even thinking about this when he only died a few days ago

I'm not sure that the OP was thinking about the holiday as such, more that that the subject was brought up by other family members following her dh's gf's death.

Sometimes, when bereaved, it is necessary to be practical EauDeLaP - it doesn't actually mean the OP is whatever you are implying she his with your .

OP, YANBU.

Eau that is mean. The subject has clearly been discussed by other family members and the OP is NBU to be upset about losing out on a holiday she thought she was going to have.

OP - unfortunately if the family (grandmother?) are paying, then it is their choice. How do things stand financially now that your DH's grandad has died? Perhaps there isn't as much money as was thought and the first thought is to cancel the holiday?

You can only wait and see what happens in a few weeks.

Check your deal/policy and work out when you need to cancel by. And then leave any decision till the month/ few weeks before that.

I'm sorry for your loss.