To hate public speaking

[googlenut]

I've just started a new job that will involve me increasingly speaking in public and I loathe it. The worst bit is the build up of nerves in the weeks before hand.It's not the main part of the job (which is research) but is a key part of communicating results. Has anyone been like this and overcome it. Or anyone that enjoys public speaking - how did you get into that mindset?
This might have been better in employment but it doesnt get much traffic so hope noone minds it posted here.

Are you reading from a script or answering questions? I find it much more worrying when having to answer technical queries as I may get it wrong or not know the answer. Unlikely, but it makes me anxious.

I enjoy it once I start, but do have nerves. Practice practice practice, in front of a mirror. Plan pauses, read/present slowly and take deep breathes.

I'm sure someone will be along with proper advice soon!

I can really empathise. Have you thought of hypnotherapy? My sister had it for blushing when speaking to/in front of people and it worked brilliantly and my husband has just had six sessions to improve his confidence at work. His results are harder to assess, but I think it's done him a world of good.

Thanks for the replies. Yes the talks I've done well have been when I rehearsed loads so it is probably the way to go. It's so time consuming though, isn't it. It's a real gift to just get up and speak. I'll have no props this time either, just straight 10 minute talk on a project. I find it easier when there are overheads to take the attention off me.
I've downloaded some hypnosis aps and I thought they were working but felt the dread in my stomach today and it's 2 weeks away

Hi

Yes, I've done it loads.

You may not have the overheads, but you can still take written notes with you (or in a laptop) to make sure you don't forget any important points. It's not an unseen exam.

Make sure you practice some breathing and your presentation. Also practice in front of someone else for tips.

Organise it as a story (you could pretend that you are telling it to your LO) and you may find it more comfortable to deliver. Also project your voice, so people can hear you and you seem more confident, as well as to try and look at the audience.

I am not sure if this will help but Toastmasters run events which non-toastmasters can go to which helps them with speaking in public. Don't know a lot about it but someone I know has been going to them and they say it has increased their confidence.

I do speak publicly and enjoy it. My tips for when you're starting out are - rehearse, rehearse, rehearse. If possible commit it to memory but not so much that you have a meltdown if you don't remember what you are supposed to say next. Cue cards are useful but only if they have key words to remember what comes next. If you only know one sentence off by heart, make it your first sentence because it will settle you down. And I mean your very first sentence. "Good morning everyone, my name is googlenut and today I am going to be talking about...." It really helps. If you can at all get an idea of layout of room that will help settle your nerves. Get there early and also wardrobe. Decide well in advance what you're wearing. I normally wear 4 inch heels but was terrified of falling over when I had to walk up for my first talk so went for lower heels that day. Oh last thing, make sure you take a really deep breath before you start your sentence before you start. It will get some oxygen into your lungs and also when you are nervous, a lot of women's voices can come out an octave higher so it helps with that.

HTH, very best of luck!

I love presenting/public speaking - part of every project I do, so partly just got used to it, but suspect I also like an audience!

10 mins really isn't that long, so I suspect the key thing is having a really clear structure. Signpost throughout (I'm going to talk about 3 things, x,y and z. So first, x) - helps you feel in control & helps the audience know where they are. Always take some deep breaths beforehand, and work out what sort of notes/aids work for you (I would personally always want some props - the best presentations I've given are those where I've drawn up things on flipcharts as I present...)

I think the best advice I was ever given (& it sounds like it would be relevant to your situation) is to tell yourself that whatever you are talking about, if you've researched it, you know more about YOUR research than anyone else in the room. They might know more about other stuff, but as long as you know your bit backwards & inside out, it'll be fine. And that more people are afraid of public speaking than dying, so even if the audience seems tough, really they're all just grateful not to be up there speaking!

And agree (x-post) with all the physical stuff - figure out what makes you feel comfortable and in control (eg I would always wear makeup for a presentation, and probably heels, despite both being unusual for me). IN general, most people present better when they are standing up, but leaning/propping yourself can help calm nerves. Rehearsing in front of a mirror/videoing yourself is great for catching bad habits (physical & verbal). My dh did a public speaking course too, recently & really enjoyed it - think there are a lot of good ones out there....

In case you have that problem, remember to breathe and don't be afraid of silence. It's not a race and your audience needs to have time to take in what you say. Plus you can use pauses for dramatic effect.

Also try to change your tone of voice. Emphasise the important points. Ask questions if necessary.
And try to use your body. Move around if you can and use your hands, lean forward, use facial expressions. Just don't stand there with the same face throughout.

Practice all of this. :)

Agree with funnypeculiar, especially about remembering that you will know more about it than anyone else as that's why you're being asked to speak. Even if afterwards you get a difficult question, I find that "that's a really interesting question, don't think we have time to analyse it right now, can we take it off line?" works every time!

Wow lots of great tips. Can't imagine what it's like enjoying public speaking.
I think rehearsing is going to be key for me.

Totally sympathise Googlenut, the first time I did a training presentation I was an absolute puddle of nerves.

Yes, preparation does take a long time. If it is any comfort, 5 minutes of television takes a day of production.

I'm a teacher and, while I appreciate that teaching is not the same as presenting to your peers, I was terrified of getting up in front of them at first.

The thing that really made me better at it (apart from experience) was slowing down. Always go slightly slower that you think you need to. It won't sound that slow to the audience and speaking too quickly makes you sound rushed, nervous and makes it far more likely you'll get flustered.

If you do it regularly, I promise you it'll get easier.

I think it is one of those things you have to do regularly but it isn't half scary to get to that point!
Has anyone got feedback if hypnotism worked for them?

I went to a hypnotherapist for help with motorway driving and presentations/interviews. That was over the summer and the next week I was doing four two-hour long motorway journeys a week. The first time was a bit scary but I made sure I had company in the car and now I don't even think about it.

I also had three job interviews which I felt hardly any nerves about at all. First one I got turned down for, second one I turned down after the first interview and third one I took and I start next month! The third one also included a ten minute presentation which I did as a Powerpoint and used the slides as cues. Previously I might even have turned the interview down because of the presentation. I have put off my professional association final assessment for three years now as I have done it all (all the exams and practice) apart from the interview/presentation but I am going to go for this now as I finally feel I have the confidence to do it. I actually feel better sitting down and presenting which makes it slightly more informal and feels less of a "big event".

I am not sure if it's hypnotherapy that has worked or that some of the horrible events in my life over the last year have put things more in perspective. I realised the other day that I am now afraid of nothing apart from people I love getting ill/dying. Anything else is copable with. So no more worries about driving, speaking, dentists, hospitals, needles

Tbh, I'd seek out a good presenting course rather than going the hypnotherapy route on this one. A good course will give you lots of practice, and lots of hints & tips on how to control your nerves/manage specific issues you have, and leave you with a feeling of having made lots of different presentations & survived! I can still remember how great I felt after attending a presenting course when I first started work - so probably nearly 20 years ago now . And dh came away from his recent presenting course really fired up & enthusiastic. I'd recommend finding one that promises small numbers (so you feel safe, & so the trainer can get a good sense of the individual personalities at work) and lots of hands on practice. I'm sure if you put a shout out, there will be mn-ers who have good recommendations...

Interesting thread. I've turned down promotion on several occasions as it would involve public speaking and it just fills me with horror. I blush, stutter and generally make an unprofessional tit of myself. It is holding me back at work, obviously.

I used to be really nervous of it, but then started to do some tutoring at uni, then later some lecturing. Talking to groups of 10 - 20 students, then building up to lecturing to 50 - 200 students over a period of time actually felt quite easy. Because I was doing it several times a week I didn't really get a chance to get nervous about it, just had to get on with it and TBH I barely noticed the number of people in the hall, was just paying more attention to whether they looked bored or not!!!

(Also I had the advantage of being able to put THEM on the spot by picking on someone who was paying the least attention to answer a question!! - )

I rather like public speaking tbh. I always start with a big smile to everyone in the room, and an enthusiastic greeting - seems to start off on the right foot.
I've been on one really good course that was very small numbers - lots of practical exercises and feedback on presentation style, plus practice on what to do if things go wrong

Sandyballs - can you get on a course to practice your skills ? Or ask HR to help you develop ?

The fear still hasn't gone for me (and I'm a barrister (only devilling mind) ffs ) but you do get used to it and the overall nerves get kind of drilled out of you. The only thing to do is practice,practice,practice.
Try and have a firm idea of what you want to say written out and condensed to bullet points but not a script you feel the need to stick rigidly to. I find that if you have a long script that you are relying on then if you lose your place, have a flustered moment or get interrupted by a question it can be quite hard to pick up your flow again.
Where as I find that if I have my points down to say one A4 side of paper with key words etc. it is much easier to get back to my original structure.
Although everyone is different. You just need time and practice to find your own style and methods.

I agree (again!) With funnypeculiar. I would seek out a good course (I did two when I first started presenting which were a godsend) rather than the hypnotherapy route.

I was going to say join Toastmasters.

It was brilliant for me. Helped my career really take off.

Obviously you have to go regularly for quite a while. But it was a really engaging hobby and I made loads of good friends.

The three things I used to write on the top of my speaking notes were:

1: SMILE
2: SLOW DOWN
3: AND BREATH!!!

The first few times I did it were terrifying. I'd get into a bizarre situation where I was inhaling lots but barely breathing out. I felt like I was inflating like a balloon

but the more I did it the easier it got. I used to do technical seminars and training courses and by the end I really did enjoy it. It helped a lot that I knew my subject well, got to do the same presentation a number of times so I could hone it and I had a pretty good idea of what the audience were looking for. I don't really get the opportunity to do speaking these days which is a shame.

I used to go bright red and shake like crazy. I blush like mad when I am in public or asked to talk. I used to always write on my notes to slow down as I would talk so quicky just to get it over with. Don't worry , you're not alone, I think the majority of people don't relish a bit of public speaking!

I used to be like this: the thought of a presentation had me almost being sick from nerves. I'd try to hide whilst presenting, or at least back away from people's eyes. The only thing that helped was practise.

For your immediate presentation, write yourself some good notes, or even exactly what you want to say (although don't take a word for word script into the presentation), then find a victim volunteer to sit through you practising (my DH has done this in the past with a laptop on the dining table). Make sure they know your main problem is nerves and that you won't stand up to too much critism though.

In the longer term, get public speaking down as a training point at work, get on courses, take every opportunity to do "friendly" presentations and it will eventually get easier. I will volunteer to present something now, and was recently complimented on a good presentation at an interview (so very hostile audience: 2 years ago I would have stayed at home isntead).

i am happy to speak in public when i am focussing on my work and results and the content of what i'm saying.

i am lucky that i love my work, and i believe it's interesting and important to share - this takes the emphasis of 'me' as it were.

i speak clearly and slowly and well because it's important to get the content across well and engage the audience...

my advice would be NOT to think about it as 'public speaking' but think about it as what it is which is passing on important information and a key part of the successs of your work.