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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think that breastfeeding in a moving car is unsafe?

55 replies

BertieBotts · 04/01/2012 21:01

Have just seen a discussion about this on another site. It seems a fairly common practice - and one I admit I did Blush when DS was tiny and couldn't be settled any other way and XP wouldn't pull over because he was a cock.

But, looking back our of the fog of new-motherhood, sleep deprivedness, baby screaming hormone-induced desperation, it was a totally mad and stupid thing to do. I might as well have taken him out of his seat, if we'd crashed the full weight of my body would have gone right into him, the seat wouldn't have taken it, and he could have been seriously injured.

So I mentioned this on the site thinking that perhaps everyone who did it had been in the same sleep deprived and not quite thinking state that I was and hadn't thought about it rather than actually believed it was safe, but no, apparently it is possible if you just turn to the side and the baby turns their head to the side.

Confused I have NEVER seen a car seat which would allow for this - not one for a few-month-old baby, especially. Surely it's impossible to breastfeed safely in a moving car, full stop.

OP posts:
Thumbinnapuddingwitch · 05/01/2012 01:21

mmmmcoffee - wow. Just wow. your SIL is nuts. And her DC are very lucky indeed.Shock

I never fed DS in a moving car; always pulled over to feed him. But then I don't have usefully swingy boobs so would have completely done my back in trying to do it like the girl in the video.

CatPussRoastingByAnOpenFire · 05/01/2012 01:34

My baps are so saggy, I could feed a child in the front seat, whilst I was strapped in the back! Grin

anonymosity · 05/01/2012 03:42

Car seats only do so much. If a branch of a tree comes through the window and skewers the child the car seat isn't going to be much good. Sorry to say horrible things, its late at night. But its true. Car seats just reduce the impact of a bump / stop the kid flying around in the back / through windows, they don't always prevent injury, unfortunately.

Thumbinnapuddingwitch · 05/01/2012 05:46

That argument sounds remarkably like the excuse my Mum and sister use for not losing weight - "well there's no point in denying myself treats because I might get hit by a bus tomorrow". Then again, you are considerably less likely to get hit by a bus than you are to get fatter unless you eat more carefully.
Similarly a branch is significantly LESS likely to come through the window of a car and skewer a child in a carseat, than the car is to be in an accident at some point and the unsecured child be nastily injured/killed.

No one is saying the carseat is a miracle bubble; but it is a sensible precaution against most injuries in a car accident.

ditziness · 05/01/2012 07:11

I could do it too, ds in carseat strapped in and me strapped in in back seat next to him. Big boobs! 36f

Whatmeworry · 05/01/2012 07:26

When DH and I visited my SIL in the USA, she picked us up from the airport, DH sat in the front and I was in the back with a 3yo and 14mo, neither strapped in. The 14mo started crying, and SIL reached back with one arm, pulled 14mo through to the front seat, yanked the bar that let her push her seat waaay back, and bf. While driving. On the interstate, at 60mph, with no way to reach the pedals.

That's how many of us grew up and many people still live today. While that bf in the car is probably a bit too blasé for me, I reckon the kids brought up by her will be far more robust mentally and physically than those brought up by a "wrap them in cotton wool" mother.

toddlerama · 05/01/2012 07:33

When DH was training as a police officer, he was told about a family who all survived a motorway crash due to seatbelts. With the exception of the baby who was being breastfed by the front passenger. He was throw a long way from the car because arms are not in anyway comparable to a seat belt Sad

NinkyNonker · 05/01/2012 07:42

I wouldn't class being properly strapped into an appropriate seat being "wrapped in cotton wool". It is all very well trying to be cool, and laissez faire about these things, not so great if they don't survive to adulthood. My mum often tells me that we were in a normal carrycot that my dad fashioned a harness for because he was uncomfortable with it, but also makes the addendum that they rarely drove on motorways, there weren't as many cars on the road and rarely did they drive at the speeds many do today...as seen on interstates. I'm only 30, so this wasn't yonks ago. As she herself said, she wouldn't do the same now, both because roads have changed and there is much more information and education around.

I've never fed dd in the car as I haven't needed to, but probably could if I was sat in the middle and she was in her rear facing.

HippoPottyMouth · 05/01/2012 07:52

How's this for a double blow then - I once saw a woman driving a car while reaching to the back seat and bottle feeding a baby in a rear car seat. Stupid woman nearly knocked me over taking a corner (I was on the pavement).
Of course it may have been EBM, but even so...

Catslikehats · 05/01/2012 07:54

Well yes it is dangerous and I haven't done it but in reality the risk must be extraordinarily small if the baby is strapped in the rest of the time.

The chances of being involved in a RTA during the 15 out of 100's possibly 1000's of minutes that you are in car not feeding is small.

Given in most cases no harm is going to come to a baby who is simply hungry it is a risk I would think was not worth taking but actually it is hardly particularly high risk behaviour.

Bloodymary · 05/01/2012 07:59

My DD1 was born in 1977 and I did it all the time Blush. Twas what we did then.

diddl · 05/01/2012 08:13

Wouldn´t have occurred to me to do it tbh.

worldgonecrazy · 05/01/2012 08:21

I have done it once in very slow moving traffic, I stayed strapped in and so did DD, I just lent over and shoved a boob in her mouth. There wasn't anywhere safe to pull over due to a lot of road works and it was safer for me to feed her with my husband being extra specially aware, than it was for him to be distracted by her very loud crying. It's all about risk assessment. I would never, ever drive without her fully strapped in though. Certainly I would never take her out of her seat to have breastfed her.

Original poster
BertieBotts · 05/01/2012 11:40

In that video is exactly what I mean - no of course she isn't pressed up against the seat but in an accident she'd be thrown against it.

Plus I know it was a doll but if you can get your hand behind your child's shoulders and bring them forwards to meet you they are in no way strapped in tight enough.

All my point was that was if you're leaning over your child in the seat to feed them, they may as well not be in the seat at all. And if you wouldn't dream of taking them out of their seat to feed them, then don't feed them in the seat and kid yourself that it's fine because you've both got belts on.

Cotton wool mother argument is a bit of a strawman.

OP posts:
mrsjay · 05/01/2012 11:51

omg why would anybody do this its shocking we all strapped babies in lovely expensive car seats but why take them out to feed them its ok MRs X your baby is maimed but at least you BF them , sorry to sound so harsh but fgs what a stupid thing to do ,

Whatmeworry · 05/01/2012 11:55

Cotton wool mother argument is a bit of a strawman.

I don't think it is.

IMO in the UK a combination of commercial and vested interest forces have conspired to create a generation of mothers who are so frightened, insecure and guilt ridden that they cannot calibrate risk in any sensible way, will buy or do anything they are told to " increase safety" or " improve health" yadda yada without thinking, panic at the most unlikely events, and try and protect their pupae children in cocoons until they emerge into adulthood having undergone virtually no testing experiences.

Original poster
BertieBotts · 05/01/2012 11:58

Don't be silly, I never said that. Of course if you're in virtually non moving traffic it's a bit different and the risk is a lot lower than if you're travelling along at 30 or higher.

OP posts:
NinkyNonker · 05/01/2012 12:16

I think you're getting a little carried away Whatme, taking appropriate safety precautions, like having children strapped into an age appropriate seat while in a moving vehicle is hardly cotton wool behaviour, nor is it neglecting to allow them access to life enhancing experiences.

WilsonFrickett · 05/01/2012 12:26

I just watched that video and I don't actually think it's safe. With the way the seatbelt is stretched, if someone went into the back of that car I think it's likely the mother would break her neck as she'd whiplash against the tightening of the seatbelt. I don't think this is safe, sorry.

Whatme I'm neither frightened, insecure or guilt ridden but I don't see the point of buying a car seat, strapping myself into the car, then basically over-riding these precautions to feed.

ThisIsANickname · 05/01/2012 12:26

Wouldn't the easiest solution be to keep a few bottles in a changing bag and feed them that way? No leaning. No getting them out of the car seat. They are feeding and quiet. Everyone is happy.

Thumbinnapuddingwitch · 05/01/2012 12:27

depends on whether or not Whatme considers flying through the windscreen because you're not strapped in a life-enhancing experience, perhaps.

Car accidents are not that unlikely. And you can be the most careful driver in the world and still be in a really bad one because you can't control other drivers.

entropyglitter · 05/01/2012 12:27

whatme car crashes are very real risks and what happens to babies that are not in car seats is equally real and well documented. I also think it is one thing for people to decide to take risks on their own behalf but another for people to risk other peoples lives (in this case children). The best thing we can do for our children is to teach them about assessing the risk associated with their behaviour. There are better ways of doing this than actually putting them at risk before they are even slightly old enough to understand cause and effect.

SardineQueen · 05/01/2012 12:30

"When DH and I visited my SIL in the USA, she picked us up from the airport, DH sat in the front and I was in the back with a 3yo and 14mo, neither strapped in. The 14mo started crying, and SIL reached back with one arm, pulled 14mo through to the front seat, yanked the bar that let her push her seat waaay back, and bf. While driving. On the interstate, at 60mph, with no way to reach the pedals.

That's how many of us grew up and many people still live today"

Really?????!!!!! Where did you grow up? I grew up in the 70s and most people bottle fed and people didn't drive nearly as much as they did and I just can't imagine anyone I know doing that - then or now!

Hecubasdaughter · 05/01/2012 12:35

I was once in a car accident, I was almost at a standstill as was most of the rest of the traffic. A speeder came over the crest of a hill and smashed into me, I ended up in A&E anyone not restrained would have had life threatening injuries.

As for the driver bf while actually driving Shock.

IMHO cottonwool behaviour would be not letting your child out in a car. Car seats are common sense, I've seen people who have been thrown through a wondscreen, I wouldn't wish it on anybody least of all a child.

BarbarianMum · 05/01/2012 12:42
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